Room for one more.

big news!
another Studerbaby is a'cookin!

due date: April 13, 2020
most prevalent symptom: intense hot flashes
cravings: all the fruit, grilled cheese sandwiches, milk
aversions: lettuce/salad, eggs

Mostly it feels dreamlike. We have been talking about maybe thinking of having one more, but also we are pretty comfy with how we are now. It was sort of a if it's in the cards kind of thing, but the shop wasn't closed and we had been pretty careless since January with nothing happening. I think I really did resolve in my heart that it was done. And then Keto got us all healthy this summer and surprise and hooray! a baby!

It took about three days for me to process the positive test and trying to wrap my head around how this was going to change all the ways our life is now. (Still haven't quite figured that out yet). And truly, we have been so busy with the start of the school year (for the kids and me) and fall sports that I have allowed myself to keep pushing any worries to the back of my mind like - oh, I'll think about that when I have time. (LOL). Anytime anyone has asked me how I have been feeling, I keep saying (honestly), "I feel pretty much the same - with the exception of the hot flashes - I think my body knows that I just don't have time for feeling bad right now." (hah, thanks body).

After a terrible initial reaction from all four kids, they are all now completely obsessed with the idea of a new sibling. We talk about the baby everyday. Rusty asked, 'hey mom, your baby come out yet?' and he keeps calling himself a 'big brother.' Violet is very interested in all the things the baby likes to eat, questioning every bite I take - 'Does that baby like that food?' and offering me a piece of anything she's eating so the baby can taste it. Gemma apparently announced it to the the entire lunch room the other day at school and Grey is hoping for a girl so that it can just be him and Rust as the only boys.

The kids knew for two whole weeks and kept it a secret (!) because I explained that we had to wait until I visited the doctor and we knew everything was good with our baby. All four kept their promise!! Since then, now they want to tell every random person we see ('Do they know the secret?') Reactions have varied, but overwhelmingly it has been with joy and support for us. Our parents were sweet and hilarious - they stared at us in disbelief. After the standard 24hr processing period - they are all over the moon, it's the mostly the logistics I think they are worried about (#SAME). Grey and Gemma's friends have been among the best reactions we've received to the news - the minor football team literally started screaming, running in circles, and patting Grey on the back. They have all offered up several names options already. The flag cheer team has doubled their hugs for me per game/practice and there are 18 prayers going up to the sky, one from each little cheerleader, for our baby to be a girl. Violet & Rusty's preschool teachers came running down the hall screaming and smiling when they told them (you are so sweet, Kayla & Janell!) and one of Brandon's coworkers who adores our kids screamed on the top of her lungs in elated surprise (one of his favorite reactions, Gail!). We've also got a lot of  "You guys are freaking nuts." and "Do you not know how this works?" but it is generally said with a smile and a hug.

I was probably the weirdest about it because I was expecting people to be judgey. I regularly receive so many comments out and about when I'm with the kids like "wow, your hands are full" and "that's a crew!" So this was the easiest babe to keep a secret because I was so hesitant to share. But everyone who knows and loves us has honestly been so kind, happy, and sweet which is what I should have expected from the start anyway - silly, Tabitha.

There are definitely things that will need to be figured out. Like the end of the school year for teaching, making sure prom is all planned since I am prom advisor this year, finishing up my college classes and research paper in the spring (!), inventoring the house and attic for what I still have for a baby and what we might need to get for the new babe, re-starting diapers (because we've been out for 4 months!), finances, vehicles, and a million other little things.

But really, as we've come to realize four kids later - it all shakes out in the end and is there anything better than a new sweet baby who needs snuggles and a thousand kisses in their loose neck skin and who smells like heaven?

sweet baby, 

you are so loved already. 

do your growing.

but know that we can't wait to meet you. 

momma.