Let's just cut to the chase, we have a lot of people in this house and our approach to chores is one that everyone is expected to help because we all live here together sharing this space and making these messes. Our kids don't receive any allowance and there are no set daily/weekly chores. Our general stance is - you learn how to do chores as you grow up and can handle them appropriately and then you do them when asked or when you can see that they need done because you're part of this family.
The kids also know that if they want to do something (watch tv) or we need to go somewhere - we all need to do some chores first. There is the general list of things that need done everyday that the kids are all aware that can be done. Things like emptying the dishwasher, switching wet clothes to the dryer, collecting the chicken eggs, vacuuming, and feeding the pets are all things that need done every single day. We do a lot of chatting about how when we work together, the chores get done faster- and how amazing it would be if they asked to do something and Mom/Dad said, 'well there are some chores that need done' and you kids just said, "we did them already!" hahhaha - that has actually happened and the pride on the kids' faces is brilliant.
So, we start chores as soon as kids are mobile (crawling and walking). Children naturally want to be helpful, so building this teamwork attitude at a young age begins to foster the idea that we are a family and we all work together - even the smallest of us! Kids get pride out of being helpful and it gives them a sense of responsibility.
Forewarning: most of the time letting kids be involved independently means bigger messes and much longer completion times - but it's about growing and learning, so put on your patience pants, mommas and daddas!
To teach/practice this chore - we use the phrase, "Can I have that, please?" and put our open hand out towards the baby. When the baby hands us the thing we asked for, we make a big smile and say "thank you!"
We first introduce it as a game where we give it back and then ask for it again and then say thank you again and then around and around the game continues. This can be done with toys or books or just about anything. Once the baby can recognize the phrase, you can start practicing in non-game situations, like picking up toys and books or handing laundry from the hamper to a parent to be folded.
The bigger siblings learn the phrase and hand motion too so the baby can watch and "help" as the kids do their bigger chores; like switching the laundry from the washer to dryer or emptying the dishwasher.
Bonus: This is also a great tool to have when your child has something that s/he should not have. For example, none of our remotes have backs on them so the batteries are always popping out. When Red has a battery in his hand (which is inevitably moments away from going in his mouth), we can calmly use the phrase, 'Can I have that" and he will hand it over. I have found in my child raising experience, the more hysterical you react, or ripping something out of their hands, and the more your child realizes you don't want them to do the thing they are about to do - the more likely they are to do it or at the very least throw a fit about it. (hah!) But by remaining calm and just asking for the item, their attitude sort of becomes, 'eh, whatever.'
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Now I'm not going to pretend that our kids love chores. They do not, and it's a lot of reminders and requests to get them moving some days. Rusty (4yrs) has shouted at Brandon and I, "Why do the kids have to do all the work and you guys do NOTHING?!" (LOL, I will bring that back up again when he's a parent someday.) But it is important to us that the kids know how to help and know that they are expected (and capable) of helping as part of their raising up.
Here's a general list of chores that are expected of our kids regularly. They don't do all of these every single day, it works out to about 3-5 chores a day for each kid, but that alleviates the workload for B and I in a way that we get more time to spend as a family together. Our house is not spotless and the laundry never ends and the to do list is infinite all the time - but with a helping hand from each person that lives here, we can make it work enough that we can take solace that the kids will know how to be a grown up someday and that in that far off 'someday' our house will be spotless and we will be caught up on laundry and our to do list will be manageable....and we'll probably be sad about it.
Each kid can do all of their own list independently (or mostly independently) plus anything from any younger kids' list):
Red (1yrs)
handing us things when we say "Can I have that?"
Getting his own shoes when we say "Get your shoes"
Rusty (4yrs)
Emptying the silverware from the dishwasher and putting it back in the drawer
clearing his plates/cups from the dinner table to the sink
Switching wet clothes to the dryer (and checking the lint collector) and starting the dryer
letting the chickens out of the coop & collecting eggs
making beds
putting away his clean clothes to the right drawers
organizing/fixing up the shoes
picking up his own toy/book mess
feeding the dogs
watering plants
dusting flat surfaces
carrying groceries from the car to the house
Violet (6yrs)
Emptying the dishwasher and putting things back where they go (or putting things organized on the counter for things she can't reach to put away)
cutting and preparing guinea pig food
feeding/water/cleaning up after guinea pigs
putting dirty clothes in the washer and starting the washer
filling the dogs water bowls
cleaning mirrors/windows (Norwex)
emptying her own backpack (folder/lunchbox/library book)
matching socks
changing the baby's clothes for appropriate weather or bedtime
setting the table for dinner (plates, silverware, empty cups)
restarting the internet
washing eggs
putting groceries away appropriately
Gemma (9yrs)
vacuuming
cleaning bathrooms
feeding chickens and goats
hanging clothes up in the closet
ironing (*still supervised, but mostly independent)
cleaning out the inside of a vehicle
sweeping with a broom (inside or out)
starting a fire in the fire pit
mowing the grass on the riding mower (flat yard only)
pushing a wheelbarrow by herself
starting water to boil for dinner
getting dinner in/out of the oven
getting a bottle ready for the baby
changing a baby's diaper
changing bedsheets
mopping (Norwex)
sorting clean laundry by person who it belongs too
making read-able grocery lists while checking for needs/inventory
Greyson (11yrs)
making food using a recipe
cooking on the grill (*still supervised, but mostly independent)
mowing the grass on the riding mower (some very small slopes)
using the weedwhacker
pumping gas
using tools for outside work appropriately (shovels, rakes, loppers, hammer/nails, electric drill)
carrying smaller siblings from the car to the house
collecting all the garbage from various trash cans and transporting to the garage
packing his own bag independently for overnight/weekend stays
shoveling snow
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