the last thing

I participated once in a writer's workshop online...well, I started to participate but then sort of fizzled out at the end because I let motherhood and adulting and chores tell me that I didn't have enough time to spend a little each day on something that feeds my soul. I've been feeling like that lately too and inexplicably (amidst a pandemic, five kids, pregnancy, the holidays, and more then a few pets) I feel this deep pull from somewhere in the universe that I'm supposed to be doing something different...it feels like maybe the thing is writing but I keep getting in my own way with all the excuses. 

Anyway, I found the collection of writer's workshop daily journal prompts and I am resolving to finish what I started a few years ago. I spent some time reading through journal prompts that I have already finished and this one still rings deeply true.

 

Writing prompt - 

if you had one last thing to say before you left this Earth, what would you leave behind. 

My babies, 

I love you. forever. 

for all the day that you'll go on without me, I will be loving you still. 

It has been my greatest honor to have been given the gift to be your mother. 

To have had the chance to get to know you in any capacity would be a joy - 

but to be your mother - wow.

that has truly been more of a blessing than I do or will ever deserve. 

I had a wonderful life - the kind that is so blessed it seems as though I maybe have always been secretly anticipating the other shoe to drop. How it is that life shakes out so unfairly; that some are blessed and others get dealt worse hands is beyond what I have ever been able to understand. I am fully aware and to my bone marrow grateful that my hand has always been stacked. 

And so has your cards been blessed. 

Blessed with strong bodies and minds - but more importantly - 

open hearts and people in your lives who will love you for 

(and despite) 

all the ways you are you and all the choices you may make in life. 

Keep your heart open, 

see good in people when others don't, 

Be the good that people have trouble believing in anymore. 

Some people worry and wonder their whole lives about what the great thing they are meant to do. 

what their purpose on Earth is. 

I was like that once too, but not since you. 

I was meant to be your mother. 

I will spend eternity being grateful for that. 

I love you forever 

and ever

mum.