Intentional Personal Growth Series: Who you hope to be

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says, "I don't know how you do it." It seems nice, but you see it's actually a fake compliment. I'm no superhuman, I'm a regular person making use of the time I get - which is exactly the same amount of time that we all get. We all get to choose how we spend those hours. So, if it is meant as admiration, it doesn't feel like it - because believe me, it is the same darn circus here as it is at your house, maybe just a little louder and messier because there's more of them (hah!) but I'm barely surviving motherhood too.

The thing is, I take those hours that we all get in a day very seriously. There is a lot of essentials that need done in those hours (children to raise, animals to feed, students to teach, husband to kiss, chores to do, meals to make) and then there is just a little bit of left over time. 

And it's that left over time that almost always is the reason that someone says "I don't know how you do it." Occasionally it's about the crew of kids we have - but almost always its in response to what I do despite the crew of kids that elicits the comment. 

And so that's what this series is about - using that little bit of leftover time intentionally. 

To grow, to be a little bit better version of ourselves by making use of that little bit of leftover time. 

If you can stay intentional about the use of that time, I have found that you will start to see small positive changes in your daily life. You don't have to wait to be the person you hope you'll be someday - you'll start being that person right now, even in just a little bit of leftover time used on purpose. 

The first step to intentional personal growth is to consider who you hope to be. 

maybe later today 

maybe later this year

maybe by your next birthday

maybe it's someday 

my goal marker is very long term - mine is when I'm a grandma.

and I know, maybe I'll never get to be a grandma (oh, how I hope I do though!), but I think it's because I admire so greatly my own grandmothers. in my heart, they were women who made it possible for me  to be exactly who I was. I always felt loved, cherished, and celebrated. They lived their lives so that their children and grandchildren still choose to spend time together. Their legacy lives on in each of us. 

That sense of extended family - of a wide group of people rooting for you through life that have shared memories, recipes, and bone structures - is such a gift. One that has been passed down all the way through the branches of our family tree. I miss my grandmothers deeply and daily, but their legacy lives on through the recipes I share with my kids, the group chats of memories that my cousins and I share, the holiday traditions that live on at family gatherings. 

My own children, who never had the chance to meet their great grandmothers here on Earth, are still wrapped tightly in the love of family that they preserved for them. How beautiful the tapestry of ancestors, how connected we are through the vines of family. 

So that is the legacy I hope to leave. 

And I wonder, how can I make small changes to my life now so that someday I will be the kind of person who has woven a strong enough thread that my children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren will always feel loved, cherished, and celebrated even if I am no longer here. 

I hope to be the kind of person who - 

• seemed to always have love enough for everyone
• seemed to always have patience - maybe not quite enough, but boy did she try!
• made meals that felt like a hug
• brought a sense of calm and peace to relationships
• remembered to be grateful for regular things in life
• named the trees and spoke to the flowers and saved all the spiders in the house
• who believed in magic and love and people's big dreams
• who cheered so loud, she made people believe they could really do it
• cried and laughed openly
• who read and told good stories

If I want it to be true, I need to live it now. 

What I spend time thinking about now, reflects the words the come out of my mouth.

What I spend time doing now, turns into habits and routines in our home and in my life.

So to get started - first you need to know who you hope to be. 

think about the things you hope those you love would say about you if asked by a stranger. 

think about those you admire and the ways they use their little bit of left over time that makes you want to say to them, "I don't know how you do it."

because you can do it! You just need to do it on purpose. 

You will probably need to trim off some things that you do without thought now, lots of time those things are distractions to looking up and living. 

But first, who is that that you hope to be? 

Next Tuesday: Intentional Personal Growth Series: Mind