What is love, anyway

It's easy to find examples of what love is, especially in today's world of gifs and memes.  Beautiful young couples tangled in each others limbs in the golden hour of evening on a blanket in a field.  Mini stories about an elderly couple who visit the same restaurant every week sharing a milkshake and still holding hands under the table.  #relationshipgoals - am i right?

"Love is beautiful with a hint of sexy."
"Love is enduring with a hint of adorable."
Yes, this is what the world teaches us about love.

Tomorrow is our seventh wedding anniversary,
and this is not what life has taught me about love,
not what we have taught me about love.

photo credit: Michelle Misner

Love is looking up at each other at the exact same time like we're listening to a frequency that only we can hear or decipher.
Love is knowing when to bite our tongue, and smirking because we know the other is biting their tongue.
Love is recognizing a mood from a facial expression.
Love is hands held, standing out in the dark with the snow up to our shins as we bury one of our pets.
Love is in the photos.
Love is knowing the stories behind the photos.

Love is forgiveness.
Love is making alternate plans.
Love is problem-solving.

Love is pulling myself out of bed while it's still dark and the whole house sleeps to make sure you have hot coffee and lunch for the day.  

Love is learning how to accept help, even if it's not the way I'd do it.

Love is learning about and being excited about the things that you love, finding a way to celebrate your passions as a family.

Love is holding the kids off with snacks until, sometimes 8:30pm so we can all eat dinner as a family.

Love is your proclamation every time I try to make lasagna that 'this is your best lasagna yet!' 

Love is your last kiss before you leave for work in the morning and your first kiss when you get home.

Love is your regular texts, 'we need anything?' while you're out.

Love is secret photos on my cellphone that you've taken of me and the kids, while I was reading or playing with them.  sometimes these are the only proof that I'm more than the photographer of our life.

Love is that toy bird that we randomly hide in each other's drawers and side of the bed as a joke.
Love is that caramel sea salt chocolate bar you passed to me like a secret in the kitchen the other day so the kids wouldn't see.
Love is the dishwasher run, a full gas tank, car keys put back where they go.
Love is sharing a cellphone charger, dessert, and who reads the bedtime stories to the kids each night.

Love is not like they say it is.
Love is not even like we say it is, sometimes.

We aren't at the beautiful with a hint of sexy beginning anymore.
(hah! at all)
We aren't yet to the enduring with a hint of adorable finish either.
We're in the middle.
We're in the part that counts.

and I choose you because i love you.
or maybe i love you because i choose you.
or maybe the act of choosing and the act of loving are one in the same.

in any case, i'm glad every single day that we're in this life together.
happy anniversary, b.
seven year itch, my ass.
xxoxox