Baby's first chore

Let's just cut to the chase, we have a lot of people in this house and our approach to chores is one that everyone is expected to help because we all live here together sharing this space and making these messes. Our kids don't receive any allowance and there are no set daily/weekly chores. Our general stance is - you learn how to do chores as you grow up and can handle them appropriately and then you do them when asked or when you can see that they need done because you're part of this family. 

The kids also know that if they want to do something (watch tv) or we need to go somewhere - we all need to do some chores first. There is the general list of things that need done everyday that the kids are all aware that can be done. Things like emptying the dishwasher, switching wet clothes to the dryer, collecting the chicken eggs, vacuuming, and feeding the pets are all things that need done every single day. We do a lot of chatting about how when we work together, the chores get done faster- and how amazing it would be if they asked to do something and Mom/Dad said, 'well there are some chores that need done' and you kids just said, "we did them already!" hahhaha - that has actually happened and the pride on the kids' faces is brilliant. 

So, we start chores as soon as kids are mobile (crawling and walking). Children naturally want to be helpful, so building this teamwork attitude at a young age begins to foster the idea that we are a family and we all work together - even the smallest of us! Kids get pride out of being helpful and it gives them a sense of responsibility.  

Forewarning: most of the time letting kids be involved independently means bigger messes and much longer completion times - but it's about growing and learning, so put on your patience pants, mommas and daddas!

To teach/practice this chore - we use the phrase, "Can I have that, please?" and put our open hand out towards the baby. When the baby hands us the thing we asked for, we make a big smile and say "thank you!" 

We first introduce it as a game where we give it back and then ask for it again and then say thank you again and then around and around the game continues. This can be done with toys or books or just about anything. Once the baby can recognize the phrase, you can start practicing in non-game situations, like picking up toys and books or handing laundry from the hamper to a parent to be folded. 

The bigger siblings learn the phrase and hand motion too so the baby can watch and "help" as the kids do their bigger chores; like switching the laundry from the washer to dryer or emptying the dishwasher. 

Bonus: This is also a great tool to have when your child has something that s/he should not have. For example, none of our remotes have backs on them so the batteries are always popping out. When Red has a battery in his hand (which is inevitably moments away from going in his mouth), we can calmly use the phrase, 'Can I have that" and he will hand it over. I have found in my child raising experience, the more hysterical you react, or ripping something out of their hands, and the more your child realizes you don't want them to do the thing they are about to do - the more likely they are to do it or at the very least throw a fit about it. (hah!) But by remaining calm and just asking for the item, their attitude sort of becomes, 'eh, whatever.' 

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Now I'm not going to pretend that our kids love chores. They do not, and it's a lot of reminders and requests to get them moving some days. Rusty (4yrs) has shouted at Brandon and I, "Why do the kids have to do all the work and you guys do NOTHING?!" (LOL, I will bring that back up again when he's a parent someday.) But it is important to us that the kids know how to help and know that they are expected (and capable) of helping as part of their raising up. 

Here's a general list of chores that are expected of our kids regularly. They don't do all of these every single day, it works out to about 3-5 chores a day for each kid, but that alleviates the workload for B and I in a way that we get more time to spend as a family together. Our house is not spotless and the laundry never ends and the to do list is infinite all the time - but with a helping hand from each person that lives here, we can make it work enough that we can take solace that the kids will know how to be a grown up someday and that in that far off 'someday' our house will be spotless and we will be caught up on laundry and our to do list will be manageable....and we'll probably be sad about it. 

Each kid can do all of their own list independently (or mostly independently) plus anything from any younger kids' list): 

Red (1yrs)
handing us things when we say "Can I have that?"
Getting his own shoes when we say "Get your shoes"

Rusty (4yrs)
Emptying the silverware from the dishwasher and putting it back in the drawer
clearing his plates/cups from the dinner table to the sink
Switching wet clothes to the dryer (and checking the lint collector) and starting the dryer
letting the chickens out of the coop & collecting eggs
making beds
putting away his clean clothes to the right drawers
organizing/fixing up the shoes
picking up his own toy/book mess
feeding the dogs
watering plants
dusting flat surfaces
carrying groceries from the car to the house

Violet (6yrs)
Emptying the dishwasher and putting things back where they go (or putting things organized on the counter for things she can't reach to put away)
cutting and preparing guinea pig food
feeding/water/cleaning up after guinea pigs
putting dirty clothes in the washer and starting the washer
filling the dogs water bowls
cleaning mirrors/windows (Norwex)
emptying her own backpack (folder/lunchbox/library book)
matching socks
changing the baby's clothes for appropriate weather or bedtime
setting the table for dinner (plates, silverware, empty cups)
restarting the internet
washing eggs
putting groceries away appropriately

Gemma (9yrs)
vacuuming
cleaning bathrooms
feeding chickens and goats
hanging clothes up in the closet
ironing (*still supervised, but mostly independent)
cleaning out the inside of a vehicle
sweeping with a broom (inside or out)
starting a fire in the fire pit
mowing the grass on the riding mower (flat yard only)
pushing a wheelbarrow by herself
starting water to boil for dinner 
getting dinner in/out of the oven
getting a bottle ready for the baby
changing a baby's diaper
changing bedsheets
mopping (Norwex)
sorting clean laundry by person who it belongs too
making read-able grocery lists while checking for needs/inventory

Greyson (11yrs)
making food using a recipe
cooking on the grill (*still supervised, but mostly independent)
mowing the grass on the riding mower (some very small slopes)
using the weedwhacker 
pumping gas
using tools for outside work appropriately (shovels, rakes, loppers, hammer/nails, electric drill)
carrying smaller siblings from the car to the house 
collecting all the garbage from various trash cans and transporting to the garage
packing his own bag independently for overnight/weekend stays
shoveling snow

a year of meal planning

If you would have told me about a year and a half ago that I could successfully meal plan for an entire 12 months, I would have never believed you.  There was a time that meal planning was slotted in my 'really ambitious' goal for myself.  But last January, I was determined to put one oven mitt in front of the other each week, and I made it bit by bit through the whole year planning our family's meals - and haven't stopped since!

I have no big secret or science to how I did it, it was really all about making it a habit.  I am so relieved that I am in this place now that meal planning is just something that I do.  It has changed and grown over the course of the year and is still evolving into what works the best for us.

This post is written in hopes to inspire or assist other Mums who look at meal planning as the daunting and scary mountain that I used to view it as.

How I got started:
1. weekly meal plans:  since I never used to meal plan at all, it was all about starting out slow.  I started by picking a day each week (Tuesday because that's when the grocery ads come) and planning out next weeks' meals based off of meat sales.  I planned one week at a clip and wrote it down (in pink or red pen) on each weekday for the following week.

2. Pinterest:  One of the big obstacles for me for meal planning has always been getting bored.  Sometimes, I just feel like if I have to eat another grilled chicken breast, I'm going to lose my mind.  Hah!  Enter from stage Left, Pinterest who provides 4528 recipes for chicken.  Seriously.  When my meal planning/eating boredom strikes, I start pin-searching new recipes and suddenly I'm energized with newness again.

3. Learning what my family likes:  It has been a year of learning about my families eating habits through meal planning.  I know the kids love spaghetti best of all, but that also has translated into watching them joyously eat other spaghetti like food (meatball sandwiches, pierogies & sauce, chicken parm). We have found by accident that the kids both like eating salad with dinner too (woohoo for veggies!) and our families #1 favorite side is steamed broccoli with corn on the cob a close second.  We are definitely meat-eaters over here and if I make a meat-less meal, there is mass confusion and a need for a protein fix asap (we go through eggs over here like no one's business).

deer meat sandwich!

How I stuck with it:
1. bi-weekly meal plans:  after getting comfortable with weekly planning, I bumped it up to planning two weeks at a time.  It freed up every other Tuesday, but also we started seeing more grocery bill savings since we were really only make a big trip every other week to the grocery store.

2. the slow-cooker:  we have a slow-cooker cooked meal probably 2-3 times a week.  I love slow cooking, its so easy and done when it's time to eat.  See Pinterest for approximately 8979 recipes on different things to cook in the slow cooker ranging from full meals to soup to desserts.  It's seriously the best invention ever.

3. adding breakfast & sweets to the planning:  I also started to incorporate a planned 'real breakfast' two times and a weekly dessert after getting more comfortable with dinners.  it allowed me to feel accomplished that the kids and I were eating anything other than toast/oatmeal for breakfast and the sweets were like a little love-pick-me-up through the week.  Plus, it's easy to get the kids in on helping to bake and provided a fun afternoon activity for us weekly to bake cookies for our family.

My top 3 benefits from meal planning:
1. less stress:  there is an amazing sense of calm that comes with simply knowing what your family will be eating come dinnertime.  So much happens during the day and by dinnertime I am generally too tired and brain-fried to attempt to assemble a meal with what I think may be available in the fridge & freezer.  Just having the meal written down in my planner to glance at the night before or the day of has made all the difference in my stress level come 5:30/6p each night.

2. money saved:  Since meal planning, we have found that we have saved money for a variety of reasons.  First, if something is already planned, I am less likely to tell B to just bring something home because I'm too tired to cook or clean up afterwards.  I mean, it's already setting out or slow-cooking, so we're good.  Also, we're not impulse buying at the grocery store because we only need the things on the list - and we're going to the grocery store fewer times during the month.  Granted, we still buy random stuff (hello Pringles), but it is at an extremely less often rate than pre-meal planning.

3. confidence:  through planning and preparing meals for my family, I have increased my self-confidence in what I am capable of in the kitchen.  I have found that I am trying out new flavors for foods that I may not have been brave enough to try before, and also not afraid of suddenly realizing I'm out of a particular ingredient (there are tons of info on substitutes for everything.  My fave:  applesauce in place of eggs).  There are meals now in my repertoire that I think, 'hmm, I wonder if this dinner will be something the kids will think of as one of Mum's meals when they move away.' I am a different home chef than I was a year ago and that makes me feel powerful.

Grey helping with mardi gras themed chocolate covered pretzels

Where I am today:
1. Monthly meal plans:  this year, I've been trying out planning out the whole month of meal planning at one time.  This is in an attempt to only do one big grocery trip (supplemented by the milk/eggs/bread sort trips occasionally) and really learn to start digging and using the stocked items we have in the pantry.

2. Planning 5 days a week:  This seems to work best for us, I plan 5 dinners a week for the 5 weekdays.  Most often, one day will be covered by left overs and then that will bump a planned meal to the weekend, or we'll eat dinner at one of our parent's houses, or have frozen pizza or something unplanned.  Of course, we occasionally eat out too, so all 7 nights are covered with little stress even when I only plan for 5 nights a week.

3.  Lunch:  since the kids and I are home everyday, lunch isn't ever planned outright but rather usually consists of leftovers from last night or bento-style lunches for them (salad or a sandwich for me).  Even though its the most obvious chart on the planet - somehow this little thing has really helped me when whipping up lunch for the kids:

So, that's how I overcame something that seemed so scary but also so necessary for my sanity as a Mum.  It is with relief and pride that I now can include myself as a meal-planning Mum:)

And for some meal-planning inspiration - here have been some of our favorites over the past year -

Our top 10 favorite new-to-us recipes
(that we've discovered and made multiple times over the past year):
Korean Beef (with ground beef)
Cheesy Vegetable Chowder  - like broccoli and cheese with more veggies
Slow Cooker Kielbasa and Cabbage
Meatball Sub Casserole
Quick Baked Potatoes - this has essential become my fallback potato recipe; so good, so easy.
Slow Cooker Brown Sugar & Garlic Chicken
American Goulash
Crockpot Meatballs
Grilled Country Style Pork Ribs
Slow Cooker Three Envelope Pot Roast


And how about top 5 desserts too:
Iced Oatmeal Cookies - the entire family went bonkers for these.  Brandon ate four at a time.
No bake energy bites
Thumbprint Jelly Cookies
Monster cookies -our go-to cookie recipe
Homemade Granola Bars - we add m&ms and chocolate chips to ours


And because breakfast can get so boring,
how about these top 3 favorite 'real' breakfasts:
Blueberry Banana Bread
Hootenany
Breakfast Enchiladas

the two sleeps

I want to take a moment to apologize to anyone who has seen me in the last few days, because I honestly cannot stop discussing the two sleeps.  It's a phenomenon that has now taken over my mind and I keep trying to bring it up in random conversations.  So if you've already heard me talking about it, please feel free to move right along.  I've become a woman obsessed - HAH.

So, the two sleeps.
A few weeks ago, I read this article (but there are lots of other articles that mention it too) and I was intrigued.  At the time of reading, we hadn't quite made it to Daylight Savings Time (DST) yet, but I was still interested in at least considering the Two Sleeps - ya know, just for a go at it.

Cut to actual DST and our family quickly fell into the category of people highly negatively effected by the lack of daylight in the late afternoon.  (Momentary shout-out to my sweet friend Shelly in Alaska who has so much less daylight then me every single day.  You are a real life hero of mine.  I'm not exaggerating).  We are really good at some things as a family- lack of sunlight during the day is not one of them.  We are the kind of a family that announces every single afternoon, 'Can you believe it's dark already?' like we have never lived with DST before.  Surprisingly, just a day into DST, the kids got readjusted to the time change; alas, we - the parents - did not.

In the days following DST, I was putting Gemma to bed and either passing out asleep on her floor or barely making it to the couch downstairs before falling into a deep slumber...AT 9pm.  Brandon was operating similarly and we'd both wake up in a disgruntled state mid-night and berate ourselves for our lack of productivity.  At the time of sundown, which is now around 6pm, we as a family can successfully accomplish these things:  making and eating dinner, dressing children for bed, putting children to bed.  That's it.  It's like the sun goes down and our battery life depletes at an alarming rate.

After a few frustrating nights, I randomly recalled the two sleeps article and had an epiphany.  My body was already sort of trying to attempt the two sleeps, as I was regularly waking up mid-sleep to go upstairs - I just needed to flow with it.  I determined that instead of fighting my inescapable exhaustion in the earlier part of the night, I would instead embrace it and institute the two sleep method in my life.  And I have been feeling better, more productive, and rested than before when I was trying to fight my sleepiness.

Since our acceptance of the two sleep, I've been regularly falling asleep (or more accurately passing out) around 9-9:30p and then naturally waking up again between 12:30-1am.  During this mid-sleep break, we've stayed awake from anywhere between a forty-five minutes to two hours, before getting into bed and sleeping again.  So far, I've been averaging about 6-7 hours of sleep and waking up refreshed with (what feels like at least) less resistance about getting out of bed.  weird, right?

Between the two sleeps recently I've done any or many of the following:  folded a load or two of laundry, put clean sheets on our bed, wiped down the kitchen, swept the floor, and planned out my week in my planner (jotting down notes and tasks to remember).  Brandon has tended to our wood-burning stove in the basement, taken out the garbage, and organized his own work stuff.  Last night, we looked over and discussed our monthly budget at 2am with sound mind and insightful planning - and more importantly a quiet house (while both kids slept peacefully upstairs).  We're like strange night-time elves!  And we have yet to turn to our electronics during the mid-sleep hours - also a strange feat in today's world.  Not by any declaration, but somehow our mid-sleep time feels too sacred to flip on the tv or open the laptop.  It's like a few magical unplugged hours.

Surprisingly, we haven't had any trouble falling back to sleep for the second sleep.  We just go about our normal bedtime routine (brush teeth, wash face, read) and easily go back to slumber until the morning.  What is wild to me is that I'm not getting more or less sleep than before, but that I feel more rested and productive on the two sleep than the stay-up-as-late-as-I-can-try-and-then-try-to-sleep-all-at-once method.

It's crazy, this two sleep thing -but it seems to be making a difference in my DST-adjustment life.  I was not only feeling really tired but also frustrated with myself - for being tired and for not being able to stay up after we put the kids to sleep.  As with all moments of acceptance, just allowing myself to fall asleep early in the night and having this time of quiet and productivity in the middle of the night that feels natural (and is?) has been a huge, welcome relief during this cold, dark winter nights.

Anyone else finding themselves naturally in a two sleep?  Or interested in trying it out?  I'd love to hear if it's as effective for you?  Are we really just strange night-time elves?  (hahha)

1 thing I do regularly that makes my life easier

there is this thing I do regularly (usually many times a day) that makes my life easier and also sprinkles gratitude and peace in my life.

I consider future me.

I have been thinking about this recently as Brandon and I keep finding ourselves butting heads over putting things back where they go.  He just don't.

Prime example, when I get out of the truck when we get back from being somewhere, I lug up to the house the kids, diaper bag, empty togo coffee mugs, bags, and any leftover garbage.  Even when its a royal pain in the butt, I still empty it out and put things away.  When Brandon gets out of the car from being away, he walks up to the house with the keys...and then sets them on the counter instead of the key hook.  Coffee mugs left, hunting supplies strewn all over the backseat, suit jackets in the passenger side...it honestly makes me insane.

So I tried to explain to him last night about the reason I care so much about putting things back where they go has NOTHING to do with being clean - because - BHAHAHAHBHAHAHHAHhahahahahahhahaha, that's the joke of the century - with 2 kids and 2 big dogs; nothing of ours is clean, ever.

But its because I care about the happiness of future us.  And not some distant future in like five years.  I'm talking about the happiness of future us later this evening, or tomorrow future us...or next Monday morning future us.

If our things are put back where they are supposed to go, maybe tomorrow or next week, or wherever future us are currently existing and most likely any (or all) of the following:  (a) running late, (b) annoyed,  (c) have our hands full; future us will not have to deal with a big mess or searching for these items.  The thing we need at some future moment will be right where it is supposed to be and future us can get on with juggling the inevitable other 62 things we will be trying to do at that minute.

Besides putting things back where they go, I also do things like reload toilet paper rolls, put a new soap in the shower, write down future notes in my planner ("remember:  stationary cards for Christmas with my fav nature shots from Shutterfly" post it on the November page), or I leave the last two k-cups for tomorrow's breakfast and drink tea this afternoon instead...

it's not because I'm incredibly organized or on top of things.  Let me assure, I am NOT.  I just truly imagine myself out there in the exhausting, possibly having a worst day than I am today, frustrating future and think, let me do something to make your day better, future tab - this one's for you.

Because honestly, the happiness of future me is a nice thing to be able to bank on.  My husband is amazing and supports these crazy dreams in my brain like no other human could possibly and my kids are equally adorable and rotten, but if I'm being honest - as the Mum it very rarely feels like anyone is taking care of me.  Ya know, last in the line sort of stuff.

I'm the one up before everyone else, in bed last, checking that the dishwasher is either loaded, emptied, or running, moving heaps of clothes, paying bills, administering first aid, oh, and making sure every living thing in our house is fed, bathed, warm enough, and contented.

This little gesture of considering future me is a way to bring a little boost to a future day; it makes me feel like someone is watching out for me, even if it is just a past version of me.  And I'm glad to know she has my back.

Tips for preparing for a family vacation with young children

We've recently returned from our family vacation in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic with our two young kids (ages at the time:  7 months and 2.5 years).  The thing about vacation after you have kids (that people somehow forget to tell you) is that vacationing with children is like regular life, only harder because you don't have all your regular, daily goto's conveniently located.  It's still changing diapers, only now you're digging sand out of baby thigh creases.  And it's wiping faces, only now you're attempting to keep sunscreen out of squirmy kids' eyes.

If you're getting ready for your first vacation as a parent:  think of vacationing without kids and understand that it is nothing like that.  It is like your current daily life with a different backdrop and limited supplies.  Of course it is also sprinkled with some of your best family pictures and moments that are precious enough to distort your memory so you'll keep attempting family vacations in the future.

hahha, I'm only half kidding.

So, I'm sharing my 10 tips for preparing your young family for vacation, in hopes to help other mommas (and daddies) keep a little piece of sanity in the pursuit of happy family vacation memories:

1.  Make lists
My main list for vacation is the packing list.  I separate my packing list into categories - I have found it is even more important to catalog the 'no-duh' type things (toothbrush, baby wipes, etc) because when it comes time for packing, those are the things that I am most likely to forget.

I also keep a special section for things that are an absolute necessity - as in "if we forget anything else, fine.  but we cannot go without these things" (like passports and baby tylenol)

family packing list categories

Besides a packing list, I also make a list for the last-minute-house-sweep.  That list is important because as we're trying to wrestle two kids and a bunch of luggage into the car (inevitably at the last possible moment that we have to leave), we want to make sure we don't have to turn around and come back because we forgot to do an important house chore.  This list usually looks like this:

• turn down the heat
• lock the doors
• empty the kitchen garbage
• unplug big electronics (tv, computers)
• leave a note for the neighbors (pet sitters)

2. Practice
It is always important to practice, but especially when the kids are going to experience something new.
Some possible important new things to practice with you kids before your trip:

• Using toys appropriately for certain places (like wearing headphones when using the iPad on the airplane)
• Airport security.  (set up a pretend security line at your house and practice removing shoes and coats, and placing electronics in plain sight of kids who can't use them right at that second - even though they want to)

Practicing airport security in our living room 

our fake airport security line - complete with shoe bins!

• New vacation-related equipment (let them use unfamiliar equipment in a familiar place)

Testing out the sun tent in our living room 

goggle practice in the shower

3.  Get the kids involved
Help the kids get themselves prepared for a new place by:

• Looking at pictures together of your destination and hotel
• Talking to them about the weather and activities you have planned.  
• Showing them where you are going on a map and talk about how you'll get there and get back.  
• If you're going somewhere that speaks a different language - teach them (at least) the two most important phrases - Hello and Thank you.  
• Letting them bring and pack (with light weight objects) their own carry-on (with the knowledge that you'll probably have to carry it yourself at some point).  

4. Plan your distractions
This is a parent's bag of tricks.  When the kids are bored - what can you pull out of the diaper bag next?  Make sure your magic hat includes distractions enough to get you through delayed flights, overdue mealtimes, and homesick babies.  We suggest:

• electronics ('tis the age of technology; ain't no shame in it:  iPad, smartphones, dvd players, etc)
• snack foods (we love GoGo Squeez and Gerber crunchies)
• light-weight, easy to transport toys (toy cars, baby keys, mini paper books, etc)
• things that feel/smell like home (favorite stuffed animal, blankie, pacifier, etc)
• My friend Nora has a great list & review of some travel distractions & flight tips - read her list here.

easy-to-transport toy car driving map (construction paper)

5. Prepare for your return
We all know its a total drag to come home after vacation with suitcases to unpack of wet clothes and kids that are travel-cranky.  So I try to make our return home a little less hateful by doing the following things before we leave:

• eating/getting rid of bread and left overs
• holding the mail (or having a neighbor collect it)
• washing dirty laundry
• making sure there are no dirty dishes in the dishwasher
• emptying the garbage cans (and diaper genie)
• putting clean sheets on the bed
• making sure we won't have to run right to the store when we get home.  aka - confirming necessities (diapers, wipes, formula)

6. Pack with purpose
You are going to be responsible for squirmy children AND you are going to be responsible for carrying all of the supplies your family will need for the duration of your vacation - makes sure to pack with purpose!  Use these four main guidelines when thinking about what needs to go in the luggage:

• SAFE:  what do you need to keep your kids and family safe?  (sunscreen, butt cream, medicines, passports/ID, cash/credit cards)
• PRACTICAL:  what is going to be highly useful to have away from home?  (small amount of dish washing detergent, bottle brush, band-aids, q-tips)
• SMART:  what can you do today that your future self will thank you for?  (put plastic wrap under the twist caps of your liquid bottles, pack empty garbage bags (for dirty clothes repacking), bring your camera charger)
• CONVENIENT:  Vacations are for relaxing, not breaking your back over luggage! (pack mix&match clothing, limit accessories and shoes)

7. Get real
Vacations are supposed to be a chance to vacate from your everyday life.  The caveat there, of course, is with kids it is impossible to vacate from certain parts of your everyday life - like changing diapers and mixing bottles.  So get real about it and make sure you're going to have what your kids are going to need.

• Slightly over pack on diapers and wipes (you know there's bound to be a blowout or two).  
• If you are taking bottles - it will be helpful to have the tools to clean them (see above).  
• Find a way to accept the fact that it will probably be more advantageous to maintain napping schedules than trying to wrestle cranky sleep-deprived children.  
• If your kids refuse sunscreen - find another method of sunblock (hats, uv long-sleeved clothing) because the only thing worse than being sun burnt yourself is being the parent to a sun burnt toddler.

Keep in mind, just about everywhere you vacation will have the necessities if you end up running out of something (diapers, wipes, formula) - also know that THEY know that you need them.  So be ready to pay double than normal.

8.  Pick a leader
One of our sure-fire marriage/parenting success tools is our 'pick a leader' method when it comes to non-daily activities.  It is our way of handing over trust and responsibility to the other person for specific scenarios.  We have found that it takes almost all of the opportunities for arguing when faced with unfamiliar situations.  We both agree that if we know we'll be in a situation that is not normal to our family - one of us becomes the leader and the other follows direction.  No trying to talk over each other or assuming the other knows what we're thinking.  It also allows us to take full ownership if something goes awry when we're the leader - so no blame game either.  For example:

• Packing the bags:  I'm the leader. I'm the one that packs the bags, makes the lists, gathers the kids' stuff.  B leaves full trust in me that I'll pack the stuff he's picked and laid out - along with the 14 other things he forgot to say he wanted to pack
• Loading the car:  B's the leader - he's way better at tetris than me
• Navigating the Airport:  I'm the leader, only because I have slightly more experience in air travel
• Collecting/accounting for luggage:  B's the leader (I take the kids and we wait out of the way)

9. Prepare for the worst
I don't mean to be all doom and gloom - but with young kids in tow, chaos will always find it's weaselly way into your day.  So try your best to prepare for annoying things that might pop up.

We got a prescription for a 'blanket antibiotic' for the kids in case either of them came down with something while we were in a different country.  We put baby's tylenol, swimmer's ear drops, and butt cream in our 'REQUIRED!' packing list category.  Some other possible 'worse case scenario' precautions:

• make up a secret 'code word' to use when knocking on the hotel door.  make sure the kids know that if the person knocking doesn't know the code word - they don't open the door
• make copies of your passports and credit cards and get them notarized to leave with a family member/friend 
• if you're traveling somewhere that speaks a different language - make sure you know (or have a copy of how to say/write) important pieces of information - like food allergies or medical conditions

And in case you haven't seen this list of The Super Ten Play-it-Safe Rules for Kids and Adults from Safely Ever After- read it now and talk about it with your kids - this list is for all the time, but a quick refresh before vacation is a good idea.

10. Prepare for the best
There will also be some awesome moments and memories that come out of your family vacation - that's why we keep doing it! - so make sure you're also ready for the best of times too

• pack your camera charger!!
• bring along a bag (or baggie) to hold special mementos - like shells, tickets, or bracelets
• make a vacation playlist
• pack a real live grown up book (or gossip mag or absolutely nothing) - the moment might come when the kids are playing happily or napping peacefully and you have got not a thing to do but bask in the quiet

Hopefully with a little extra preparation in the beginning - you'll have to endure only a little bit of vacation that looks like this (come on, you know its inevitable):

But most of your vacation will be smiles and happy like this:

June 2012 Kindness: donation to the local humane society

We let June get away from us before we completed our 12 months of Kindness commitment - so the kids and I made up for it in July.  We made a donation of goods to the local Humane Society and stopped to visit with the puppies & kitties there too.  If you are interested in making donations to your local humane society (or other local animal shelters) make sure to check their website (or call them) for their wish/need list before making your donation purchases.  When I checked the website for our center - we used their list to help guide my next grocery run.

After a quick run to the grocery store to pick up some of the items on their wish list, the kids and I headed up with donations in hand.  Grey was proud to carry in the paper towels (almost as big as him, hah!)  We brought two bags of kitten food since they said that was an urgent need.  The staff at the front desk were so happy to receive our donations and even more delighted to get them from my two little angel-faced munchkins.  

..and when they said the kitten food was urgent - they were not kidding.  There must have been 20-25 kittens waiting to be adopted - not including the other fully grown cats.  We have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 4 fish and I was almost half tempted into just adopting one (or some!) of those sweet baby kittens.   

We've rescued 3 of our 4 mammal pets, so it is important to us to give back to organizations that take care of animals that would otherwise be in a bad way.  Visiting the humane society only further cements my belief that a neuter/spay law should be in place nationwide.  Our family does our part in making sure all our animals are neutered/spayed... because there is nothing sadder than seeing unwanted kitties/puppies reaching their paws out of cages.  (actually, the only thing sadder than that is seeing them hungry and homeless). [steps down from my soapbox.]

On the way home from our drop off, Grey and I talked about why the puppies and kitties live there (at the Humane Society).  I told him they live there because 'they don't have mummas and daddies yet, but they are waiting for them to come pick them up.'  That we gave them 'some surprises to help them while they wait for their families.'  He seemed to understand that in his little 2 year old brain.  Then he said, "Bully and Tricky-Icky have families.  We are family."  yep, they are.

This month, since the kids weren't only able to be involved in the picking up and delivering of our kindness - but it was something little kids like (animals), it was a really good reminder to me why we commit to our 12 months of kindness.  We want giving to be how our kids; how our family, grows up.  We want our kids to think that making donations of time or goods, or sometimes money alone is the 'normal' thing.  

We want our family to not only know, but live the phrase, 'Because I have been given much, I too must give.'

(quotation from Grace Noll Crowell's poem 'Because of Thy Great Bounty')

Summer safety with the Studers

While I'm working on my Couch to 10k program (update:  I'm not as consistent as I'd hoped on working the program.  Although our Color Me Rad 5k is fast approaching in August), I realized that it might be time for a double stroller since I had a hellava time trying to find a comfortable spot for my little dictator coach (who screams, "Mumma, fast!") during a recent run with both kids in tow.  

We're currently scoping this stroller out since it would allow Grey to get on and off without a bunch of fuss.  He changes his mind too much to be dealing with buckles.  The ability for him to stand is also appealing - any thoughts/reservations/suggestions?  Thanks!

With two fair skinned babies, we are also all about hats and umbrellas in our world.  As mentioned here, Gem has been sporting her floppy hat all summer to keep the sun off her sweet, bald head.  We also purchased a table umbrella for our patio table after attempting breakfast one morning without it.  Both kids huddled under my makeshift shade for dear life.  We promptly headed out to Lowes to get a proper umbrella and we've eaten breakfast outside almost daily since then (and its become quite a comfortable outdoor office for me!)

Have you seen this video where babies can learn to flip over and float in case they fall into a pool?  They learn it while they are fully dressed and to cry/call out for help.  The first part is hard to watch as a momma, and then its like holy moley, best thing I've ever seen.  Somehow we need to get our kids to learn this.  

Please also, take two minutes to read this fascinating article about drowning.  Seriously, maybe the most important thing I'll read this whole summer.  

Alas, our kids don't know the flip&float technique(yet).  So we are working on teaching Grey to swim all together (on his 2012 goal list!) and helping Gem get comfortable in the water.  We've already spent some time swimming at Gigi & Pap Pap's pool this summer.

We also went ahead and purchased neck pillows for each of the kids since our summers consist of a lot of car time driving to and fro.  Not really safety, hah, just better neck alignments.  We went and purchased the Baby & Kids Travel Pillow from One Step Ahead (along with a few other items because that website is dangerous for a momma to go on, oops).  As soon as it arrived, I tried it out with Gemmi and she slept like a baby (hah! she IS a baby) but with her head supported instead of all slumped and forward.  We've tried other neck support things in their car seats, but without any success.  We seem to have a winner, folks.

So far, summer has been fairly kind to us.  No sunburns or bee stings (yet! eek!), plenty of skinned knees and bug bites though already.  Finally, do you know about this little trick to keep flies away? 

Happy summer'ing!

FSW - Frequently Said Words

If I had a most used word counter (like they do in facebook statuses at the end of the year), mine would like this on a daily basis...

I have caught on fairly slowly that the main job of being a mom is making people do things they don't want to do the whole day; most often yourself.  haha.

As you can see from the big word "ball" above, Greyson is currently in a ball obsession phase; which of course makes his daddy sublimely happy being the athlete that he is/was.  All day long he says, "ball," and points at anything remotely shaped like a ball (a cantaloupe, grapes, plastic easter eggs).  The problem with the ball obsession is that Bullet has also been in a ball obsession for his whole life.  So when Grey has a ball, Bullet tries to steal it anytime Grey pitches it across the room.  When Bullet has one of his balls, Grey will stick his whole hand in Bullet's mouth to pull it out (luckily for us, Bullet let's Grey do this without any snipping or growling.  Even though Bullet is in general a freak, we are very grateful for the way he acts towards booboo).  The ball obsession is also why we are having a ball birthday party!

We are also currently practicing the names of parts of the face.  Grey has nose down solid.  He can point to our noses, Bullet's nose, and stuff animal noses.  Eyes aren't quite there yet, but I'm a little thankful for that because I just got a full blown, straight finger into the eye socket this morning.  With tears in my eyes and a grimace on my face I forced out an enthusiastic, that's right, booboo, eye.  Oh, parenting.  Teeth is finally starting to sink in since I pulled back Bullet's jowls and pointed to his enormous spiky teeth and Grey thought it was the funniest thing on the planet. 



*If interested, my word bubble above was created by http://www.wordle.net/ I came across their website at the suggestion of a magazine once and find it slightly addicting and adorable.  The suggestion in the magazine was to create word bubbles as gifts for graduations/mother's day/father's day/birthdays, etc.  So, you can create word bubbles that say the characteristics about the person (beautiful, kind, generous, patient, etc) 

It's fairly easy to use; you type in words you want to be included -any space will be considered the start of a new word.  The more times you type a word, the bigger it will be on the final bubble.   If you want to make a phrase, place a ~ (tilda) between the words in the phrase.  If you want to go back and edit your bubble, you'll have to start from scratch; so copy your word list before selecting "go" to make your bubble.  (check their FAQ for more helpful tips).

2 Weeks in Thailand Packing List

When we finally decided that we would be traveling up and down Thailand on our own, the thought of hauling rolling luggage was just too much.  So with Brandon's blessing, I went and purchased us backpacks from Amazon and we went on the hunt for suggested packing lists for 2 weeks in Thailand.  We collected some different packing lists based off of weather in March, gender, purpose of trip, and our own comfort...and then came up with the following lists.  We traveled to Thailand for 2 weeks in March.  We stayed in Chiang Mai to Bangkok to Phuket.  We traveled on our own (trains/buses).




Tabitha (girl)
2 short sleeve thin cotton shirts
2 short sleeve Nike dri fit shirts
4 pairs cotton capri pants
1 tank dress/bathing suit cover up
1 convertible skirt/dress
3 tank tops
1 long sleeve shirt
1 pair long pants
3 bathing suits
2 pairs of flip flops (only used 1 pair)
5 pairs underpants
2 sports bras
2 regular bras
5 pairs socks
1 pair sneakers
2 pleasure reading books
1 Lonely Planet Thailand book
1 Lonely Planet Thai phrase book
2 cotton bags (empty- used to carry small stuff to the beach/market/etc)
1 small purse for money/passports/itouch, etc

Brandon (boy)
4 short sleeve Nike dri fit shirts
2 pairs khaki shorts
1 pair jeans
2 long sleeve shirts (only used 1)
4 pairs socks
4 pairs underwear
1 tank
2 pairs swimming trunks
1 hat
1 pair flip flops
1 pair sneakers
2 hankerchiefs
1 PA Fish & Game magazine

Toiletries (carried between us)
2 bars of soap (donated 1 bar to the hilltribe)
1 small bottle of shampoo & conditioner
1 small bottle of face wash
q-tips
contact solution & case
3 small packs of tissues
2 toothbrushes
toothpaste
1 hairbrush
1 small bag of make-up (mascara, lipstick, bronzer)
2 bottles of sunscreen (45 spf, 30 spf)
1 deodorant (we both use old spice)
1 togo bottle of febreze (best idea EVER)
4 ponytail holders
2 garbage bags (empty)
5 gallon ziploc baggies (empty)
3 small ziploc baggies (empty)
2 chapsticks


Technology (carried between us)
outlet converter
camera
camera battery charger
itouch
itouch charger
2 cellphones (they were off the whole time to prevent roaming data charges)
headphone splitter (allows 2 headphones to go into the itouch at once)








Top five things that were most handy:
5. outlet converter
 - all the outlets that we encountered were the double round holes...which none of our regular American plugs fit.  But thankfully we had the outlet converter that allowed us to charge both our camera battery and itouch 
4. small packs of tissues
-were insanely helpful when using the restrooms in the train station and other locations that didn't have toilet paper readily avaiable.  most toilets were outfitted with a bidet which we are just not accustomed to..so we had our own paper ready when we needed it.
3. Lonely Planet Thai phrasebook
- filled with commonly used helpful phrases (like, "where can I buy a train ticket?" and "how much does that cost?")  It also includes the phrases in Thai, so if you totally butcher the pronuciation and a stranger that is trying to help you looks at you like they still have no idea what you're asking - you can just point to the phrase in Thai in the book...that happened more than twice on the trip.
2. ziploc bags
-we took them empty and then used them to transport leaky contact solution to the hilltribe, put our camera inside of it for water protection while on the bamboo raft, and put extra snacks inside while train riding
1. small bottle of febreze
-without access to washing machines, we resorted to washing our clothes in the hotel tubs (using hand soap) and then hanging them to dry outside.  When you are sweating and trekking in 95 degree weather, the hand soap doesn't necessarily always cut it for the armpit odor.  Febreze made the difference between gagging ourselves on our own stench and forgetting the fact that we wore the same 4 outfits over the course of 14 days


"washing" dirty clothes in the tub



hanging clothes to dry - then spraying them with Febreze:)

Top 3 things it would have been nice to have
3. small bottle of laundry detergent
2. bug spray
1. baby wipes/wet wipes

Little Miss Bossy - vacation lists

I am the bossiest.  But in my mind its less bossy and more an insane person's attempt at being as helpful as possible.  I like being in charge, so I usually am...so the thought of not being in charge of everything that I normally am (see baby, dog, house) for two weeks makes me feel like I'm leaving a huge plate of unknown into the laps of people nice enough to take care of them for me.  So in a serious display of type A personality, I made lists like these:

For the grandparents who each set will have him for one full week.



this particular list is actually 4 pages long...crazy? YES.


For my cousin who is living in our house for the 2 weeks and taking care of Bullet too..these have been printed and left in the kitchen for him.

Brandon says its the teacher in me.  My mom says its the efficiency in me.  My mom-in-law says its the mother in me.  I say they're all trying to be too nice - its the control freak in me.  I'm not too proud to say it.

Traveling parents give consent to grandparents for medical decisions

Most descriptive blog title ever?  hahha, thats because I wanted other parents to be able to find this...because it took me awhile of googling to find what I was looking for.  So anyway, while getting a quick check up on my runny nosed kid today, it was suggested to me by our darling nurse that we could get it in writing that our parents had consent to make medical decisions for Booboo while we were out of town...which was the best advice I've received in the past 24 hours. 

After googling for a few moments, I finally stumbled across what I was looking for on mamapedia and wanted to share as well.  The last thing we want is for Booboo to have to go to the hospital while we are out of the country.  But even worse than that would be for him to get there and need ER care and it would be held up in red tape because we forgot to give authorization to his grandparents to make decisions for us when we can't be reached.  So we've typed up two versions of the following (one for each set of grandparents) and will have them ready...just in case, heaven forbid.


We, ________________, the parents of ______________ a minor, hereby authorize _____________________(grandparents), to act in our place and to give any consent that may be required for the care, treatment, or necessary surgery to cure or relieve my aforementioned child from any affliction requiring emergency or necessary curative treatment including surgical care while we are out of the country. We further represent that we will be responsible for all charges incurred.
Dated:___________


Parent/Legal Custodian Signature:_____________________________


Parent/Legal Custodian Print: _________________________________



Child's Family Doctor: _________________________________
Phone Number: ______________________________
Address: ____________________________________
 
It probably would be even better to get your signatures notorized, but from what I've read online - this usually suffices in an emergency.  We'll also make sure that we send his health insurance card and SS card with him too. 

How we planned our 2 week independent tour of Thailand

Once you decide on a location for your vacation - its just a few steps to get your independent tour of the country set up!  As soon as you decide your destination - you'll want to make sure of the following before you make any plans:

• Is it safe for US citizens to visit this destination?  check here.
• Do you need a VISA?
• Are you required to take medical precautions? (Typhoid shot, malaria pills, etc)  Are there concerns of an outbreak:  you check here.

Once you confirm/check the following; then you can beginning planning your independent tour!  Good luck!
A step by step guide:

1. Decide on a budget.

2. Detemine your travel dates
  a. Keep in mind the weather of your destination spot during your travel dates

Cost Saver:  Can you swing flying on a T/W/R?  Airfares on these days are usually lower in cost than regular weekend flying (F/Sat/Sun)

Cost Saver:  Consider what is 'peak season' for your destination - costs will usually be higher for those travel times...take a look into what the weather is like when its NOT peak season...does rainy season mean it rains every afternoon for an hour - maybe you can hit the museums/temples during that hour?

3. Create a free account at http://www.tripit.com/
  a. I don't know anything about programming, but these peeps do.  All you do is FWD your confirmation emails from bookings (hotels/tours/transportation) and they'll upload into your itinerary
  b. So handy for printing/emailing itinerary copies to your parents/family so they'll know where you are while on the other side of the world

4. Create a free account at http://www.travbuddy.com/
  a. Like facebook and blogger had a baby and that baby loves him some traveling; get inside blogs/reviews from real people who have been to your travel destination
  b. I used travbuddy to help find hotels and get reviews in all of the different cities we'd be visiting
5. Book your flights

6. Draft up a calendar and map out where you want to be each day
  a. I do this on scrap paper and use a pencil because it gets changed a few times when you start getting into the details of planning
  b. Put in the times of your flight departures & arrivals so that you'll be clear as to how much of your travel day will be consumed by hanging at the airport vs. time to sightsee

7. Book some day trips - even though this is an independent tour, we wanted a little help with some guides and inside hot spots.
  a. I googled thailand itineraries and was connected with a Thailand travel agency in the UK.  I was lucky to get a very helpful rep who was super patient and walked me through all steps of the booking process
  b. Make sure you understand what the day trips include (meals?  Pick ups/drop offs?, etc)

8. Book your hotels
  a. Now that your day trips are planned, you can book your hotels based off of when and where you need to be to meet up with your day trip group
  b. Travbuddy was a lot of help for me
  c. Google currency converter to calculate actual costs - many of the hotels have their cost listed in the local currency, so the converter will spit out the US $ cost immediately

Cost Saver:  Some non-chain, locally run hotels have breakfast, airport pick-up, access to the internet, or activities included in the cost.  Make sure you understand all that you can get with your booking.  Read as many human reviews as possible to get a better idea of the experience.

Cost Saver:  Are you willing to walk 5 minutes to the beach?  If so, you could save a pretty penny on forgoing a beach front hotel.

9. Keep fwding your confirmation emails to tripit.com
  a. hooray for easiest itinerary creation ever!

10. Determine how you will travel within the country.
  a. What will be most cost effective?  vs. What is most time effective?
  b. You can usually google train and bus schedules if necessary
  c. Usually it is easiest to get your in-country travel taken care of when you get in-country (train, bus, cabs), but if you are renting a car - its probably best to book in advance.

11. Google "Must see things to do in _______ (city/country)"
  a. Write those spots down in your Notes section in Tripit
  b. Remember that since you're traveling independently - YOU get to decide...so museums/temples not your thing?  Check out other interesting things to do:  bazaars & markets, cooking classes, spa visits, etc

12. Google "Suggested Packing List for ______  (country) in _______ (month)"
  a. pack accordingly

Enjoy your Valentines flowers longer!

Some girls turn their noses up at flowers, "they just die anyway," they cry.  I am NOT one of those girls.  I absolutely love fresh flowers in the house and for reasons uncomprehendable to me, my husband rarely brings me flowers - despite the fact that I tell him repeatedly that I love them, AND despite the fact that he manages a grocery store that sells them...at discount prices.  I know, I love him - but goodness man.  No matter - when I do get them - I want to cherish them for as long as possible.  So here's a very easy tip I picked up from Real  Simple magazine...or Martha Stewart...or some other place where amazing ideas abound.

When you get your fresh flowers - snip off the bottoms at angle and leave in a tall vase in a very prominent place (say, dining room table or kitchen counter) and show off to any visitors.  As the days pass, make sure to get rid of anything that starts wilting early (like baby's breath or other filler).  Dead/brown flowers can make the whole bouquet look shabby.

These were NOT my flowers - but mine are equally beautiful:)

After a few days (usually its about 5 days for me), they'll start looking a little less vibrant but will usually have opened up quite a bit - so you'll have these big open flowers - that you know will be wilting in no time.  Take each stem and cut off about 2 inches - again at an angle.  You may have to trash a few flowers because they just didn't make it, but you should be left with a couple big, fully bloomed ones.  Then place them in a shorter vase or I like to use a short juice pitcher that we have.  These folks used a short bucket which is just as cute.  When I get to this stage, I usually set them up on the window sill behind my sink - they'll get tons of sun and they make me smile while I'm making coffee too early in the morning.



happiness in a bucket!

 So after a few more days (give or take 3), you'll start to notice that many of the flowers are starting to kick the bucket (hah, pun intended) and it might be time to say buhbye to your beautiful reminder of your adoring partner.  Alas - don't give up just yet!  There are always those 1-3 flowers that are the fighters and are clinging on to dear life.  Discard the deads (rest in peace) and clip the final couple flowers another time - again at an angle.  Leave about 2-3 inches of stem and grab a short juice glass.  Toss those babies in the cup  (or a tea cup like this one is equally adorable and kind of chic) and place it somewhere cozy.  Since its such a small arrangment - it will look a little pathetic in your original, prominent place.  I like to put my on my nightstand so that I see it first thing in the morning.  It should last another 2-3 days and look at you - You've squeezed a whole week and a half out of those flowers and they looked beautiful and new each day!

good morning:)

2 week Thailand preparation list

have I told you yet...WE ARE GOING TO THAILAND!!  Like in March...for 2 weeks!!  hah.  It has been on our bucket list to visit Thailand and finally I just put my foot down and said, that's it, we're going this year.  Before the year even got started, our weekends started filling up with all kinds of fun things to do this year (weddings, wedding related parties, traditions, etc) so it turned out that the best time for us to go was going to be early in the year; which actually turns out to be a good time to visit Thailand anyway. 

Booboo will NOT be traveling with us and we are going to be missing him so bad, but we all could use this vacation.  Brandon and I could really use some alone time together away from everything.  Booboo could use some separation from his mummie since I'm basically the only one he sees 24/7 (and some separation from Bullet).  The grandparents could use some much needed Booboo face time.  So its a win-win-win situation.  Grey will be staying with one set of grandparents the first week, and then with the other set the next week.  By the time we get back- he isn't going to want to come back home; he'll be so rotten spoiled from his grandparents no doubt.

With the countdown beginning (only 16 days to go!!), we have quite the to do list.  Some are very specific, but other items on the list might be helpful ifyou are planning a trip soon.

To Do before Thailand
1. confirm house/Bullet sitter
2. alert credit cards and bank that we'll be out of the country for 2 weeks (this will ensure our credit cards will not be turned off for suspicious activity)
3. buy over-sized backpacks
4. finalize day trip confirmations
5. finalize hotel bookings
6. Copy itineraries and personal docs to give to grandparents
7. Read a recordable book for Booboo's valentine gift (so he can hear us read to him while we're away)
8. Get some traveler's cheques
9. double check electrical socket situation to ensure camera & phone chargers will work
10. learn more about turning our phone to global for 2 weeks
11. Learn some Thai
   a. buy Thai language flip book
   b. Memorize some key phrases (hello, thank you, where is the bathroom?, No thank you, Do you speak English?)
12. make a video for Booboo to post to the blog so he can see our faces while we're away
13. Check in with Ben (who's living in Thailand) to see if we can meet up
14. Find suggested packing list for March in Thailand
15. E-bank/schedule March bills
16. Ask Anna to feed cats & take care of mail while we're away
17. Get Bully's vaccinations up to date
18. Try to get Booboo to take his first steps before we leave
19. Send suggested Booboo grocery list to grandparents
20. Send Booboo's daily schedule to grandparents
21. Organize ipod playlists
22.  Pack for booboo
23. Pack for us
24. Finalize booboo drop off/pick up schedule
25. organize emergency information
   a. finalize last will & testament
   b. US Embassy in Thailand contact information
   c. purchase traveler's insurance
   d. pick up traveler's sickness prescription