Throne Reading

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Sorry, is that a gross title?  Probably, but I thought "reading while using the toilet" was maybe a little to graphic for a blog post title.  who knows?  Anyway, this post is tagged as one of my favorite things which might have taken it over the tmi ledge for blog writing.  How to redeem myself at this point...let me start over.

I am a multi-tasker to the core.  In my eyes, using the bathroom is just untapped time to be I have stocked both bathrooms in our house with some easy reading fare for our guests.

master bath reading
 In our master bath, I have the following light reading displayed (from the bottom up):
1.  The Apple that Astonished Paris; a collection of poems by my number one favorite poet, Billy Collins.  (if you've never read any Billy Collins poems and/or you think you don't like poetry, go here now to read my favorite Collins poem.  Or here.  or here. or here.

2. Webster's American Sign Language Dictionary

3. Church Signs:  You know how churchs usually have the witty little sayings on their marquees - well, Brandon thinks these are hilarious and insightful.  This little book is especially for him

4. 101 Things You Should Know How To Do.  Adorable little book that covers topics ranging from; How to get a drink in a crowded bar to How to fold a fitted sheet. 

5. Fortune Telling:  Book of Dreams.  Especially helpful in the morning:)

guest room
In the guest room, we have set out a little more variety of reading materials - because you never can tell the preferences of john-browsing of guests. (starting at bottom right)
1. Modern Art.  Mostly pictures for those uninterested in reading

2. Porn for Women.  Hilarious little book that has pictures of men doing things like vacumming and turning up the thermostat while a dialogue bubble says "Let's keep it set at tropical."  For those lady guests looking for a laugh.

3.  The Book of the Zodiac.  Really easy to read information about zodiac sign characteristics (if you're into that kind of thing).  Also gives information about personal tendencies based off of Chinese astrology (animal years).  All specific for gender.

4. Frost.  An anthology of Robert Frost poems, because you doesn't like Robert Frost?

5. Superstitions.  Adorable little flip book recalling the history of where superstitions got started.  For example, did you know that the superstition that its bad luck to open an umbrella indoors stems from the early belief that using parasols (to shade from the sun) as decoration and open them indoors was disrespectful to the power of sunbeams.  So this was believed to anger the sun gods and they would then wreck havoc on anyone who acted as though the sun wasn't powerful.

6. The Bathroom Guestbook.  This was given to me by my sister, Kayla (hi, Kayla!) since she knows my weird bathroom book collection.  It is hilarious and guests happily sign it, trying to outwit previous entries with funny bathroom-inspired messages. 

7. Fortune Telling:  Birthday book.  This one is of the same line as the Book of Dreams in the master bath, but it includes personal traits and fortunes depending on your birthday.

Most guests rarely comment on the vast array of knowledge to be learned while visiting our bathrooms (with exception to the occasional whisper, I signed the guestbook, hehehe ), because talking about reading while you're in the bathroom is not really appropriate conversation.  And yet, I'm blogging about there ya go.

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