Things I never thought I'd say..& then we got a dog

"Who ripped up the toilet paper into ten million pieces?"

"I'll hold his mouth open if you reach into the back of his throat to pull out that balloon"

"Did he just swallow that frozen chicken breast whole?  (the reply to this was "yes")

"Oh yea, I meant to tell you - He ate that hole in the drywall"

"Did he mean to prune that plant perfectly or was he just trying to rip it out because it actually looks kind of good"

"Did you just not notice the couch cushion sitting in the middle of the yard all day? 

"Can you add vasoline for the baby to the grocery list?  Bullet licked out the rest of the tub we had and then puked it up in the sunroom"

and finally;  the most likely response to something missing in our house;  "Bullet ate it."