This is our 8th year participating in Screen Free Week and it's an old song and dance by now for our family. The kids all just rolled their eyes at the paper that I hang over the tv screen announcing the week and they get on with it. They take pleasure in knowing it means screen free for me and Dad too - so no basketball games at night for Dad and limited phone for us too 9except texts/calls and use of the camera). It is a breath of fresh air for me always, a reminder to get off of social media and take in the world that exists right in front of me instead.
Part of the reason Screen Free week is easy for us is because we are really only taking away TV/Streaming from the equation. None of our kids have cellphones, we have no working tablets (for 1+ year now), no computers that they use, and a not often used Xbox. So the thing they are missing all week is just their usual one movie after dinner. We already have a low screen normal around here. We don't allow screens in the car or at games/practices or before 3p if we are home.
And the reason for all of that is because screens unequivocally have made parenting more difficult. Always. It's a quick fix in a pinch (like when kids are sick and just need to lay down and rest) but otherwise, screens always cause more problems than they solve in my experience. The kids fight with each other more (or worse, ignore each other). They have more trouble playing independently after turning off screens and it's always a battle to turn off screens.
The pros of screens seem plenty though, right? It's quiet! there's no mess! they sit still and you know what they are doing! You have free time yourself!....but those are pros only to us as adults who have already lived and played our childhood away. My kids are being kids when it's LOUD and MESSY and they are in motion. My kids are living and playing their one precious childhood when they are participating in it, not when they are zombie'd out, mouth open, sucking in the creativity of someone else on a screen.
It is not easy to be the screen warden in a house full of kids - Dude, I know - but I am also certain that if that is what allows my kids to live wild and free and playfully in this one childhood they get in life, then by goodness I'll be the meanest darn warden there ever was.
We played outside.
We played inside.
We played sports and cheered each other on.
And just in case you needed more encouragement to be more low-screen in your regular life - I am not exaggerating the difference in my parenting life when we committed to changing the way we interact with screens at home and we focused on giving our kids free play, especially outside.
It has given ME so much freedom as a mom. I think back to those days before we were committed to screen managed parenting and not dedicated to free active play outdoors and how hard it was. I was the cruise ship director of entertainment. It was a constant nagging to keep the kids doing things - I had this overwhelming pressure to provide activities: coloring pages, experiments, little worksheets, puzzles, snacks, racetracks, costume changes, games with elaborate rules and winners....it was so exhausting. I had no time to get my own chores done; let alone have a minute to breath as me - my own person.
With so much practice at free active play for our kids (everyday), the kids don't need me to be their entertainment provider. They just play. Violet, Rust, and Red are best at it because they've been doing free active play since they were infants/toddlers. Grey and Gem are old enough now that they want friends to be involved in their free active play or to be in an actual activity of their choice (fishing, hunting, playing teacher, riding dirtbikes). Most of the time, the kids are playing and I'm doing something else; albeit within ear shot if they need help or get hurt - but mostly I have no involvement in their play. We have established rules about boundaries for each age and the kids have practiced sibling accountability and know they should watch out for each other.
This freedom for us as parents though is balanced out with the parts that you don't normally have to deal with screened-kids. Our kids make huge messes, they are loud, they are almost never without bumps, bruises, or scratches. They get dirty, sun burnt occasionally, and have all experienced the unpleasant parts of nature (bee stings, poison ivy, ticks, and splinters). But these seem a small price to pay for the memories they making and the muscles they are building and the imaginations they are growing in this wild and free childhood.
And one more point to drive this home (if you'll allow me to beat this dead horse, hah). How often do you as an adult say, "gosh, I'm so glad that social media/cellphones didn't exist when I was young." I know I say it often (and think it even more) because first - how much would I have missed out on in the playing and having fun of my childhood? and secondly, gosh- how often was I the cringe-ist weirdo trying to grow up through tweens and teens and thank goodness no one has digital proof of that train wreck. Because we were all train wrecks trying to grow up - it is so awkward and overwhelming and confusing.
Let's not just shrug off the fact that we are infinitely grateful we didn't have to deal with screens we were kids because they simply didn't exist and then turn around and let our kids participate in something we can see now would have been difficult and unhelpful (and many times actually hurtful). Let's be the grown up that says "I'm not going to let this screen steal you childhood from you. I know it seems like I'm being mean, but it's my job to give you a childhood that is safe and fun and wild and free - and you won't ever get those memories and that life from a screen."
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