fancy

We try to be very conscious in the way that we speak about life and the words we use to describe it.  I've talked about it before both at 12MonthsofKindness and we've practiced being better about it when using our Tacky Box.  There are things that we just don't say (tacky words) like:  stupid, idiot, dumb, or shut-up.  

There is one word, though, that we do say, and a lot.  That word is fancy.

Fancy is our response to how the kids look when they get dressed in nice clothes.  As an outdoor family and all-around rough&tumble crew, we are more likely found in what we call 'play clothes,' than anything that is fashionable or currently 'in style.' Play clothes are those that can be stained, dirtied, or torn and it won't matter much.  But when we put on 'nice clothes' or get dressed up, we call that fancy.

We tell our kids they are beautiful and handsome too - but that is never because they got fancy.  When we wipe their faces clean, we say, "I think my beautiful girl is under there somewhere!  Where is that beautiful face?"  Or when they wake up, we grab them up for hugs and say, "Good morning, handsome boy!"  Other adjectives are used to describe them all day too (kind, generous, 'good' big bro/little sis, etc).

But when we want to let our kids know that we appreciate how they look when they get dressed up, it is always by saying they look fancy.  We hope to ingrain in them that beauty is not something you get from better looking clothes, or make-up, or accessories, or a hair style.  You can dress up and be fancy for a little while - but you will always be beautiful no matter what you change to your appearance.

And there is no better compliment to me, when I get dressed up and my little Gemmi who has yet to be able to pronounce the /f/ sound; runs her hand down my clothes and says, "You look sancy, Mommy."  She's only two, but she's getting it.

Dear Gemmi,
You are beautiful because of who you are, never because of what you put on or take off.  Never because of the way your hair is styled or how expensive anything you carry might be.  You are beautiful because of all the things that make you, you.  Like how you care for anyone you think is sad or hurt and how you hold hands with those you love.  You are beautiful because of your smart, sneaky brain and your silly, nonsensical humor.  You are beautiful with your hair every which way when you wake up and with cheeto mess all over your cheeks.  You can dress up and be a fancy girl whenever you like, but know that your beauty has nothing to do with how fancy you are.  You are beautiful because you are you.

Love you forever and ever
even when you get so big,
mumma