Around Here Week 21: 05/19-25

 A glimpse into what it is like to live in our family just this moment. 

selfie cred: Abba

photo cred: Joanna A

photo cred: Becky C

photo cred: Becky C

photo cred: Eva M

photo cred: Becky C

photo cred: Miss Emma

bonus big brothers (Grey's friend Bryce with the ice cream stand snuggle)

selfie cred: B

photo cred: Jonny? Grey? Pappy? (who knows - happy fishermen)

photo cred: B

Intentional Outdoor Hours: 135+ hours (of 1000)
We got some grass seed planted near the basketball court, did plenty of mowing, and have been staying outside late past dark because it's just to tempting when it feels so comfortable outside. It has been good for our souls to be outside in the fresh air this week and we were grateful to have mostly blue skies and sunshine to do so (thanks Gigi).

Reading all the thoughtful and touching comments about Gigi. We received so many messages and comments that were so supportive and loving for our Gigi. We didn't respond to most because the emotional toll on our hearts was too heavy, but we read them all and felt your love and support wrap around us. thank you to everyone, you helped bolster us in this moment. 

Trying to maintain a sense of semi-normalcy as we work through grief. The kids went to school, we continued to attend practice and sports, and our babysitter Miss Baylee and Miss Emma came to be with the babies two days this week so that we could spend time with Pappy working through the tasks that needed done. 

But also boundary setting for all the people I love during this week of intense grief. I contacted teachers and coaches to make sure each of our kids' would be met with patience and love in the way they each needed (Grey & Vi: act normal, don't make a big deal of it. Rusty: needs some extra hugs but mostly needs to play. Gem: needs hugs and space and time). I was on communication management with extended family and friends to find photographs (thank you!), provide details, and field questions for Rudy and Brandon. I process through checklists and planning and caring for my people, so it was helpful for my soul to stay focused on clearing the path for a way through for all of us.  

Celebrating our newly minted three year old, Olive Irene. Our littlest babe is three and sassy as ever.  It felt dizzying to celebrate while also grieving, but I think it helped us too. Liv has her Gigi's curls and dimples so it almost felt comforting to see her smiling with that wild hair hovering over her candles to make a wish. We sang over donuts in the morning and had tacos for lunch at Olive's request. We are still going to have her & Reddy's joint birthday party on Saturday (ugh, again - the balance of joy and grief. literally the definition of life I guess, but, oh man, our hearts). 

Proud of and happy for Gemma who finished the BizWorld project this week. She worked with a group of classmates to come up with a small business (name, commercial, jingle, design & make products) and then the third graders (including Violet!) went to the high school to shop with "bizbucks" at all the different businesses. Gem worked really hard and was dedicated to the project. Grateful to receive pics of the big day from teachers (thank you Becky & Eva!)  

Making arrangements. heartbreaking but so many decisions and things to be done in such a short amount of time. I was so honored to be included in the decision making and planning for Gigi's services. Very thankful for my mom and sisters who provided second eyes/proofreading on wording, our local Staples who got our poster-size portraits and programs printed beautifully and in such a short timeframe. Harris funeral home was patient and helpful with all our questions. Pastor Mark Fischer was calming, kind, and provided peace in his prayer with us. 

So endlessly grateful for all our family and friends who gave us patience and space as we took time to breathe. I know the people who love us; they are the kind of people who have a knee-jerk reaction of digging their hands in to help. I know how hard it was for them to slam on their brakes and wait for us to be ready to talk or accept help. I know it took everything they had to not insert themselves into our space and I am so incredibly grateful that we all had a little room to catch our breath after the devastating shock to our reality. We received hundreds of messages of love via text, DMs, and comments. we didn't check our mailbox for a week and when we finally did it was full of dozens of condolence cards. Our close friends and family fielded questions and requests from outer circles to protect our hearts and space. I know waiting is so hard, but our people showed up for us patient to wait in line; they built a fortress around us to make sure we had room to breathe. thank you. forever, thank you for that time we needed, we will never be able to repay you for just waiting and respecting your circle.

Attending the funeral service for our Gigi. We had a very private service which was what Gigi had wanted and what felt best for us too. It gave Rudy, Brandon, the kids, and I the space and comfort to feel however we felt without having to carry anyone else's emotions. I think Gigi would have been pleased with it all; the speakers (thank you), the singing (thank you, Nin), and the scripture choices. So very thankful for Miss Emma who joined us at the service to play with Reddy and Livy during the speeches so that I could focus on being present. It was so sad and hard, but it was as beautiful as a thing like that can be. 

Sending so much love out to my NS kids who graduated on Thursday night. I am so proud of you. I am so thankful to have been part of your journey. Now get out there and change the world! 

Setting up the back porch for the summer. thank goodness for parties, hah - my aunt Mar always says hosting parties motivates you to clean up the places you always avoid doing - ain't that the truth! Grey and B helped clear the back porch and then bring up our porch couches from the garage/basement. All the kids pitched in a little bit and now we will get to enjoy it all summer long! 

Screaming and clapping for Miss Baylee on Friday morning when we got the news that she earned Silver IN THE STATE for high jump as a sophomore!! We are so proud of her!

Shipping Daddy, Pappy, and Grey off to the stream with Uncle Jonny. The four of them spent most of Friday at Yellowcreek fly fishing, which was so good for their aching souls.

Hosting a double bubble birthday party for Red and Olive. We had an awesome shark bouncy house from Flood City Party Rentals (the best!!) They set up on Friday afternoon which meant the kids get a full 24 hours to jump and play before the party - so they were loving it (and I was loving the happy, distracted kids so I could get party-ready!) I ordered Boba beads and fat straws to make Boba juices, we had a bubble machine, and lots of round shaped food including cake pops for singing! It was heartwarming at the end of all long, hard week to celebrate something so sweet as our 4- and 3-year-old babies. 

Kitty & Bryan PCT Trail Update: 767 miles (on foot their own two feet...just in case you need reminded!) They took a little break in Lone Pine after hiking through part of the Sierra mountains - that means they finished CA sections A-G of the trail!) Kitty says the altitude and air took a little toll on her, plus they were carrying supplies for 9 days (!!so heavy!) I'm glad they are listening to their bodies and resting if they need to rest and regroup. 

Teaching nothing. home all week on bereavement.

Sporting this week in the midst of grief because sweating out sadness is best for athletes' hearts. We had two 10U soccer games for Violet, Rusty, and asst coach Mom. Violet had one Sparks game, one Sparks practice, and one all-star AYSO practice this week. Summer league basketball started for Gemma and she had a 12U AYSO soccer game. Grey played in the Chaos basketball tournament, had his end-of-season school baseball picnic, and had 2 Pony league JR&S baseball games and on the day of Gigi's service Grey hit a out of the park grand slam, which he said was for his Gigi. 

Making tacos (Livy's birthday request), sheet-pan kielbasa and veggies (fridge clean out), beef quesadillas (fridge clean out), chicken tenders, baked pasta, and green beans (thank you cousins Mark & Betty). For our double bubble birthday party I made a roaster of meatballs for meatball sub sammies, a crockpot of shells&cheese, buffalo chicken dip, and cake pops!(thank you Heather for the fruit salad and Abba for the pasta salad)