Appreciation

We had a stressful evening in our house last night.  B didn't get home from work until after 7pm, so Bullet was flipping-out-happy to see him after a full day.  Grey didn't get his medicine like normal so he was flipping-out-angry and needed held all afternoon.  I was exhausted from my second day back to work/holding Greyson/trying to keep our house together.  After B gave Bullet some attention, smacked a kiss on me and gave Grey a couple hugs- he was up working until 1am on paperwork.  I had cereal for dinner and B had some cheese and crackers.  Overall, nothing like what you dream marriage and new baby bliss will be like.

So this morning around 6:30am, after a long night of waking up every 2 hours to feed the baby while he is in a growth spurt- Greyson woke up screaming bloody murder for no reason.  I was literally like a zombie and on the brink of tears from exhaustion and frustration.  I looked at B and asked if he would please take him.  Brandon got up and changed his diap and took Grey out to the living room and apparently calmed him down.  I wouldn't know because it took about 30 seconds for me to pass out in bed.  I woke up an hour later, feeling infinitely better from the uninterrupted sleep, and found Brandon and Greyson spooning asleep on the couch in the living room.  I walked over to them, took Brandon's hand, and said a tiny thank you prayer that I am not in this alone.

You fantasize and dream about what life will be like after you're married.  Its all picnics and dates and slow dancing in the kitchen and spooning in your mind...and you think how amazing it will be to be a Mrs. to his Mr.  I can count the number of times we've been on a picnic in 2 years (1) and guess the number of times we both fell asleep on the couch watching TV instead of spooning in bed (about a million).  So, as you can guess, it isn't what you thought it would be.  But it is times like this morning- really knowing that I have someone that I can depend on in the hardest and most frustrating moments -that make me appreciate our marriage.  We love each other everyday...sometimes because we're slow dancing in the kitchen, sometimes because we laugh at the same jokes, and sometimes because we're just going through the motions of life...but this morning I was really thankful and appreciated  him.  Surprise, surprise; marriage is all its cracked up to be.
thank you & i love you, b.