A Day in the Life of a new momma

get up, change the baby, make up a song to get the baby to stop screaming during the diaper change, breathe deeply and find patience until the baby latches on, feed the baby, announce to sleeping husband, I am so tired, roll eyes while sleeping husband continues to sleep, burp the baby, wonder when you became a woman that relished in the sound of a baby burping, hand baby off to dad, go start the coffee, ask Bullet, Do you wanna go for walk?, breathe in clean, beautiful morning air, restrain Bullet when the neighbor is outside picking up his newspaper, pick up dog poop, smile at the sight of our home, get Bullet breakfast, make lunch for B, feed the cats, clean the litter, put in a load of laundry, swaddle the baby, kiss husband goodbye, drink whatever coffee is left, eat breakfast, email family, take a shower, take 5 extra minutes doing nothing but standing under the hot water, reluctantly get out to the dog licking water off your feet, change baby, change baby clothes because he just peed on himself, feed the baby, let Bullet out, burp the baby, wonder when you became the woman that didn't notice when you get spit up in your hair, giggle when the baby farts, read the baby books, wonder what the baby is learning from listening to books this early, put the baby to nap, weigh the benefits of running the vacuum vs. napping, nap wins, wake up with a guilty conscious, practice Bullet's tricks and give him extra treats since he's been neglected, empty the dishwasher, change the baby, wrestle the baby's binkie out of Bullet's mouth, regret giving him the extra treats, feed the baby, watch tv on hulu, cry over a pampers commercial, wonder when you became the woman who crys over pampers commercials, strap the baby in the car seat, ask Bullet, Do you want to go for a walk, juggle the stroller and Bullet while neighbors stare in disbelief that you would walk a stroller and that crazy dog at the same time, justify the walk in your mind by resolving that Bullet is only bad when there are people or dogs outside, worry about the fact that spring is going to bring more people and dogs outside, say a silent thank you when you pull back into the driveway, get the dog water, open the mail, mentally balance checking account after opening bills, put laundry in the dryer, use a treat to get Bullet away from tormenting the cats, realize you forgot to eat lunch, eat lunch, change the baby, feed the baby, try to get the baby to wake up to finish eating, finish feeding the baby, kiss the baby's face, play a silly game about pretending to eat the baby's neck, wonder when you became the woman who would be satisfied to never smell another smell in the whole world if you could just have this baby neck smell forever, put the baby down for a nap, load the dishwasher, smile when Bullet starts barking at the garage door, kiss Brandon hello, say a silent thank  you that he is my husband after he pulls out a chocolate bar from behind his back, eat the chocolate in less than 20 seconds, start dinner, change the baby, feed the baby, eat a kind-of cold dinner because the baby took a long time to eat, wish I wouldn't have eaten all that chocolate at once, raid the cupboards for a dessert, settle for yogurt, skype with family, sit on couch with Brandon, Greyson, and Bullet, weigh the benefit of folding laundry vs. sitting with family, sitting with family wins, ask Brandon to change the baby, feed the baby, let the dog out, wake Brandon up to go to bed, turn out all the lights, double check locks, start dishwasher, think about bringing up the laundry, decide tomorrow will be just as fine to bring it up, brush teeth, give Bullet a belly rub, kiss husband goodnight, wonder when I became the woman who falls asleep with the nightlight on smiling because I know that everything I care about in this world is in this room...including Bullet, with his wagging tail smacking my feet.