You might be married to a Redneck

Do you know that today is the first day of archery?  If you didn't, this post will sound like a load of goofy baloney.  If you do, well...you might be married to a redneck.

We live in western PA - some call it Pennsyltucky because of our backwards, hick ways (no offense, Kentucky - it's actually a compliment!). Some of our men are the truck driving, deer hunting, Turtleman loving, and Jaeger guzzling type.  Despite their general ogre facade, they are also the hard working, ditch digging, hand holding, country song singing type too.  We call this kind of a man a redneck around these parts - and if you're wondering if maybe you're married to one - or dating one, see below for some hints that you might be married to a redneck.

You might be married to a Redneck if...

...you know there is a difference between army camo and hunting camo.  And you know which hunting camo is your husband's favorite.  (my husband's favorite is Mossy Oak Break-up).

...you have marked on your calendars and planners: the first day of archery, first day of rifle, first day of spring gobbler, and first day of trout...these are all days that you do not make plans.

...you own camo bed sheets, and camo shower curtains, and camo crib accessories.

...you never just pick up a plastic bottle and drink it; you always check first to see if its a spitter.

...you don't throw away empty bottles; they are stashed away in the truck or a shelf in the kitchen to be used as future spitters

...you have pinned recipes on pinterest that are for marinating wild game.

...you are proud of your husband's (and father in laws) performances on the local news station when interviewed about hunting season.

photo credit:  Jet-TV 24 (Erie, PA)

....you know your husband is not checking you out in the car when he repeatedly looks over in your direction;  he is just trying to spot deer and turkeys in the fields on the side of the highway

...your husband and groomsmen wore camo to your wedding.  (with turkey feather boutonnieres).

photo credit:  Michelle Misner Photography

...you own and use Scent Away laundry detergent

...you have subscriptions to PA Game & Fish on the backs of your toilets

...somewhere in your garage (or yard) are deer targets, turkey decoys, a hunting blind, and at least one treestand

...you have a photo folder on your computer called "Game Camera" that includes 300 pictures of animals with a date and time stamp (and occasionally your husband's face).

...you know what brand of bow your husband shoots and what kind of snuff he chews...and so do your kids.

...you have stuffed animal heads and hides displayed in main parts of your home.

...you've ever decorated the stuffed animal heads in your home to match the holiday.

...you own a deep freezer because you need the space to hold deer meat, wild fish, turkey, and occasional bear meat.

...You own camo lingerie and a camo bathing suit - and your husband thinks they are the hottest things you own.

...The logos of Mossy Oak, Browning, and Remington are just as recognizable as McDonald's, Macy's, and Target.

...You have to shop at only four places for birthdays and Christmas:  Gander Mountain, Cabela's, Bass Pro Shop, or Legendary Whitetails.

...you own Conner's Big Hunt by Shawn Meyer and the inscription in the inside from your husband to your son gets you choked up

Come on, ladies - who else went and got themselves married to a redneck?  Fess up - how do you know you're married to one? Feel free to add to this list in the comments!

happy hunting season!

August 2012 Superlatives

Its that time again, and by 'that time again,' I mean when I randomly assign awards to various moments of our month by a way of encapsulating our lives that are seeming to move by entirely too quickly.  Is it just me and my mid-life crisis - or is time passing by quicker now than ever before?

August was a whirlwind - as most months are these days.  It was a great month - and my birthday month!  We completed big tasks, introduced two new members to our family, and made our backyard a water park.  Here's looking at you, August 2012:

Most appetizing pet:  (that was kind of inappropriate, but seriously..).  We introduced two new pets to our family this month - go ahead, please feel free to call Animal Planet's Animal Hoarders show immediately and nominate us - we've now got two shrimps!  With the purchase of a much needed bigger fish tank for our ever-growing (and never dying) fish, we decided to go ahead and toss in two shrimps too.  Greyson named them Mustard and Custard and they are big hits at our house.

Best pinterest project completion:  we created a children's art gallery in the playroom to display the kids' masterpieces.  It was super easy and we didn't pay a penny for it since we had everything we needed already (using two scrap pieces of wood, wood glue, and clothespins).  Thanks to this pinspiration - we wow'ed up our playroom and made it easy to rotate in new pieces.

Best Pinterest Recipe Success:  grilled pizza.  just so good.

Most obnoxious Daddy-is-a-big-kid proof:  Brandon couldn't help himself when this GIANT blow up waterslide got marked down at his store.  So we were able to have a mini-waterpark in our backyard for Grey and our cousins (Ariel and Gracie).  It was well received with screams, giggles, and enthusiasm.  And then Brandon went down it.  And this is why he is my best friend. (please forgive the awful quality of my video proof of Brandon's acrobatic skills).

Sweetest duo:  Gemma & Lila; baby BFFs.  We had a visit and dinner with the Stahls and the cuteness of our girls together was almost too much to bear.  Add in the fact that Lila and Gemmi were wearing matching outfits - it was just about as darling as it gets.  Grey tried to get in on the fun by making the girls laugh, but it was really just about adorable faces, hair envy, and babbling.

Most firm division of our house:  boys v. girls in the great backyard campout.  All the boys (Dadda, Grey, and Bullet) slept outside in the tent, while all the girls (Mumma, Gem, and Trixie) held down the fort in the house while they completed one of our summer to do tasks.  It was short lived though, as we all joined forces again in the morning when we had breakfast around the campfire.

Worst face plant:  Gemma toppled over while sitting on Grey's toddler bed and knocked the bridge of her nose off of the safety rail.  The bruise was visible almost immediately and lasted about five days.

Mr & Mrs Fancy Pants:  Brand and I while attending our friends', Jayann & Jim's, wedding in Pittsburgh.  We got dressed up in clothes that didn't have our children's bodily fluids on them - which is honestly quite a rarity.  (Congrats to Mr & Mrs Christiana!)

Best brunch:  hanging out with some of the w&j crew during brunch having a mini reunion.  We got to chat and catch up over eggs sandwiches and coffee - what's better?  We are always glad when we get a chance to introduce our kids to examples of what good friends are.

Best out-of-town visitor:  speaking of reunions!  Sara "Momma" Weaver was having a family reunion in Western PA and made a short trip over to our neck of the woods to visit with the kids and I.  We played volleyball together in college (co-captains!) and its been four years since we last saw each other.  We appropriately spent the morning laughing and drinking mimosas.  kind of the best morning ever.

Best workout gear:  Gemma's leg warmers while she does her frog hops in the jumperoo.

Sometimes good intentions just ain't enough moment:  When I found out I couldn't donate blood for another few months since we traveled to Thailand.  Luckily, Tash still went ahead and donated :)

Happiest pups:  our dogs after we took them for a long walk and swim with my dad.  

Best Efficiency Upgrade:  Being able to put both kids in the car driving seat in the grocery cart.  Gem is big enough to sit up now which leaves much more room in the cart without having to haul her baby car seat around in the basket.

Cutest little sweetheart honey face:  My sister's new kitty, Miles!  Kayla and Ryan adopted the sweet little guy from Fur Kid Rescue and he is just a little lump of sweetness.

The 'go on with ya bad self" award:  me!  when I ran, jogged ,jog-motion'ed the entire 5k Color Me Rad run the day before my 29th birthday.

Best feel-good day...like ever:  My 29 acts of Kindness birthday day long celebration.

Best signature pose:  Gemma's one hand up to her head move.  I don't know why or exactly when she started doing this...but she's been doing it when she smiles and is feeling confident.  This girl is already up to no good.

The 'takin' care of business' award:  Greyson when he sets up his 'work desk' near mine on his day care day offs and does his own form of 'work.'  Like using kid scissors to cut pieces of paper into a million shreds.  Or using a glue stick as chapstick.  He's a really hardworking, productive toddler.

Best 'I love being a mom to these babies' moment:  When I spied Greyson making Gemma laugh in their little turtle tent that morning.  As far as I can remember, this was the first time Gem laughed about  something she thought was funny (versus being furiously tickled).  I love these kids sometimes.



Ah, another month zooms by.  I hope you enjoy my monthly recaps because its therapeutic for me to get down all the little random parts of our days that get jumbled up in the big moments.  It helps make me feel like I can take a quick snapshot of what our lives are like right now and maybe hold a piece of it forever:)

thank you Thursday: Someone who changed the course of your life

Dear Franklin,

Maybe you don't remember me, or maybe you do - I hope you do, because I remember you.  When I was 16 years old and a junior in high school, I came to your village in Honduras for a few days with a group of doctors and dentists.  Since at 16, I was clearly not a doctor or dentist, my sole job was to administer oral parasite medicine to every single person that passed through our clinic for the 10 days we were in Honduras.  We were in your village, Las Lajas, for two days - and for whatever reason, you decided to spend those two days hanging out with me.

I had basic Spanish phrases well buckled down after two years of Spanish in high school - but that didn't mean the two of us could carry on any kind of a conversation.  I don't know how we even got started playing our little game - but before the afternoon of the first day, we were going back and forth translating random items around the school room we were in.  You pointed to a pencil, "lapiz" and then I said, "pencil."  I pointed to a ballon in one of the textbooks, "balloon" and you repeated me -saying balloon like it was a question.  "Bomba" you said and I told you, "me gustan bombas" and you enthusiastically answered, "yo tambien!" We spent the next day playing this game, getting more and more silly with each new vocabulary word.

Franklin, you'd never have known that our two afternoons goofing around and giggling at each other's pronunciations was the door that opened up and changed the course of my life.  After leaving Honduras, I landed in the US and firmly announced to my family and friends that I was going to learn language.  And then I went to Susquehanna and majored in Spanish where I met friends that I may not have been close with otherwise, and with whom I am still in touch with today (hi, Dehkonti and Alyson!)

And then I studied abroad in Costa Rica where I met Yemily, and Meg, and Allison (hi, girls!) and they helped me adjust to living in a new place so far away from home.  We spent our days truly living the pura vida.  Yemily showed me that praying can be whatever you need it to be, Meg made me laugh even when I felt like crying from being homesick, and Allison helped pull me out of my shell to meet new people after we first arrived.  And in Costa Rica, I met Maria; my host mother.  The kind of mom and friend that she was to me has a lasting impact on the kind of mom and friend I am to this day.  The only person who cried more than me when I was getting on the plane to come home was my mama tica.

And then I taught English as a Second Language with Teach for America where I met Elena, and Stephanie, and Kelly, and Alana, and Amy, and Stirling.  Friends that helped me adjust, again, to a new place so far away from home.  Elena who can read my facial expressions and know exactly what I'm thinking-even through the phone, and Stephanie who knows the song inside my heart, and Kelly & Alana who I made and shared a home with, and Amy who was a bright light of laughter more times than I can count, and Stir who is the kind of a friend you feel connected to even if its months that go by before seeing each other.

And while I taught ESL at PS27, I met Sabrina - my saving grace at school when I thought I would go mad or breakdown; she made me laugh even when we could have cried.  And my students, goodness, my kids.  Maria, and Elisa, and Mariano, and Anthony, and Tyquan, and Ines, and Ulysses, and Alejandro, and Daysiaha.  My students who have forever changed the way I think about education; who will forever be held in my heart as 'my kids.'

Because we met, and because you spent two afternoons playing a little game in Las Lajas, Honduras with a gringa - you have pushed my life into a different trajectory.  Before you, I was moving along on a fairly straight path, and then I met you and it notched a little to the left.  Because of our meeting, I have met many people and had many experiences that have significantly contributed to the person that I am today.  

I don't know where you are, Franklin - but I am sending you love and gratitude from my house in Pennsylvania.  I am sending you peace and hope for a full belly and your health and the health of your loved ones.  You are a shining example in my life that you can never truly know how far your influence can reach.  I hope you remember me, because I am grateful for meeting you.

forever indebted, 

tabita

Next thank you (third) Thursday:  Someone who is a breath of fresh air