You might be married to a Redneck

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Do you know that today is the first day of archery?  If you didn't, this post will sound like a load of goofy baloney.  If you do, well...you might be married to a redneck.

We live in western PA - some call it Pennsyltucky because of our backwards, hick ways (no offense, Kentucky - it's actually a compliment!). Some of our men are the truck driving, deer hunting, Turtleman loving, and Jaeger guzzling type.  Despite their general ogre facade, they are also the hard working, ditch digging, hand holding, country song singing type too.  We call this kind of a man a redneck around these parts - and if you're wondering if maybe you're married to one - or dating one, see below for some hints that you might be married to a redneck.

You might be married to a Redneck if...

...you know there is a difference between army camo and hunting camo.  And you know which hunting camo is your husband's favorite.  (my husband's favorite is Mossy Oak Break-up).

...you have marked on your calendars and planners: the first day of archery, first day of rifle, first day of spring gobbler, and first day of trout...these are all days that you do not make plans.

...you own camo bed sheets, and camo shower curtains, and camo crib accessories.


...you never just pick up a plastic bottle and drink it; you always check first to see if its a spitter.

...you don't throw away empty bottles; they are stashed away in the truck or a shelf in the kitchen to be used as future spitters

...you have pinned recipes on pinterest that are for marinating wild game.

...you are proud of your husband's (and father in laws) performances on the local news station when interviewed about hunting season.

photo credit:  Jet-TV 24 (Erie, PA)

....you know your husband is not checking you out in the car when he repeatedly looks over in your direction;  he is just trying to spot deer and turkeys in the fields on the side of the highway

...your husband and groomsmen wore camo to your wedding.  (with turkey feather boutonnieres).

photo credit:  Michelle Misner Photography

...you own and use Scent Away laundry detergent

...you have subscriptions to PA Game & Fish on the backs of your toilets

...somewhere in your garage (or yard) are deer targets, turkey decoys, a hunting blind, and at least one treestand

...you have a photo folder on your computer called "Game Camera" that includes 300 pictures of animals with a date and time stamp (and occasionally your husband's face).



...you know what brand of bow your husband shoots and what kind of snuff he chews...and so do your kids.

...you have stuffed animal heads and hides displayed in main parts of your home.

...you've ever decorated the stuffed animal heads in your home to match the holiday.


...you own a deep freezer because you need the space to hold deer meat, wild fish, turkey, and occasional bear meat.

...You own camo lingerie and a camo bathing suit - and your husband thinks they are the hottest things you own.

...The logos of Mossy Oak, Browning, and Remington are just as recognizable as McDonald's, Macy's, and Target.

...You have to shop at only four places for birthdays and Christmas:  Gander Mountain, Cabela's, Bass Pro Shop, or Legendary Whitetails.

...you own Conner's Big Hunt by Shawn Meyer and the inscription in the inside from your husband to your son gets you choked up



Come on, ladies - who else went and got themselves married to a redneck?  Fess up - how do you know you're married to one? Feel free to add to this list in the comments!

happy hunting season!

10 comments:

  1. Not married to one, but a daughter of one. At 29, I still call him on the first day of archery and trout to wish him luck:)

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    1. i wish there was a "like" button for comments :)

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  2. Oh. My. Word. This is fabulous!!! I'm not married to a hunter, however, I am married to a musician and might have to steal this idea (and give you credit, of course). Love your blog.

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    1. yes! do it! thanks for reading, Shellie :)

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  3. Tab - what is a spitter?!? LOL
    - Dee

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    1. hahh! love it, Dee. A spitter is an empty cup or bottle that B spits his chewing tobacco (aka snuff). That's why you never want to drink it by accident - its a combination of dip and spit. the worst.

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  4. I laughed so hard at this. Only because I knew EVERY SINGLE ONE! I'm the daughter of one, and also married to one :)

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    1. glad i'm not alone :) happy hunting season & good luck to your hunters!

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  5. Honey, I LOVE this! I am from Kentucky, for one. For two, I married a hunter/redneck. His father and brothers (mainly his youngest) are also hunters. We just got married the 15th, I wanted to get married late November. But my now husband informed me that if we did, we would probably be getting married in a tree stand because it might be hunting season then. I am going to link this to my facebook, send a link to my mother-in-law, and then have her collaborate with me and write another one. I'll also include your link in it as well, can't steal the credit!, and wouldn't dream of it either! Hopefully, you'll read it and then you can add to yours! Also, you should listen to the song "Deer Hunters Wife" by The Pistol Annies. It is pretty much our life, and hilarious. Good luck to you surviving another hunting season, good luck to your husband out hunting this year and hopefully many more to come!

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    1. hahha! awesome - please let me know, I'd love to read yours! Good luck to all of your hunters too!! ps. love pistol annies:)

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