Intentional Outdoor Hours: 201+ hours (of 1000)
Up over the 200 hour mark due to this beautiful summer weather. We haven't had this nice of a summer in a long while and we are soaking up as much as we can.
Listening & Learning. I'm always appreciative of Trevor Noah's perspective, wit, and comedic relief in all things. We also supported The Collective Education Fund/Black Voters Matter/Louisville Urban League/Louisville NAACP who were local organizations that were providing rides, food, drink, and PPE to voters in Kentucky on election day. Did you know that there were only 200 polling locations on Tuesday's primary election day (compared to 3200 in 2018) and with over 600,000 registered voters in Jefferson county (mostly Black), there is only ONE polling place. I watched a video about teaching Black history in schools and one of the teachers said, "We do not want the first time a student encounters to Black history to be slavery" and it about knocked me off my feet. What is it teaching our white children if the first time they learn about Black history it is through oppression and suffering? What does it teach our Black children if that is all that is presented in school? So I did a little studying up on Anthony Browder and his studies of Nile Valley Contributions to Civilization (!!)
Caring for Gemmi as she works through this infection. She's on antibiotics and we're pumping her full of water. She's feeling a little better each day, but she had my anxiety up quite a bit. The thing about Gem is that despite her very low emotional tolerance, her physical pain tolerance is insane. She can literally put new skin on an open wound without flinching. So often times, she doesn't feel well but just battles through it because she can - it takes a fever or throwing up to even let us know anything is wrong. Whew - this girl!
Thanking the Dads in our life for Father's Day. We had the hike to Yoder Falls with my Dad (Chum) on Saturday and on Sunday (after running Gemma to Urgent Care for her infection!) we hosted Brandon's Dad (Pappy) and Gigi at our house for dinner. It is nice to set one day aside to make sure to thank our Dads but we are grateful for them everyday of the year. We were seriously blessed in the Dad department (Dads, Grandpaps, Godfathers, Uncles, and Coaches). Thank you so much for helping to raise up our kids with patience and tenderness. They will always feel strong because they feel safe, and that is because of you.
Reaching out for help. Some anxiety and postpartum depression has really been weighing on me over the last few weeks and I finally took account of it and reached out for help this week. My amazing midwife and cousin has been in regular touch and suggested taking St. John's Wort to help bolster my mood. I am drinking lots more water, limiting social media, and getting outside. Mostly it is manifesting itself in overwhelming worries about the kids' health and safety. Thinking that something tragic will happen to any of them is paralyzing. I also feel so tired and overwhelmed at small tasks; the laundry makes me feel like sobbing. By dinnertime I feel so exhausted and on the verge of tears, all the regular mom'ing (getting drinks, finding shoes, making food) feels so big; like I can only accomplish it if I am quiet and don't move any unnecessary muscles; so no smiling, or laughing, or shouting - just as zombie'd as I can to make it to bedtime. Which of course makes me feel guilty about how I'm doing as a mom which then reboots the whole cycle. I'm proud of myself for speaking up to Meg, B, my sisters, our parents, and my close friends. It feels good to be honest and to accept the grace and support they have all given me. Thank you, I love you. If you are struggling emotionally or mentally; reach out for support. There is no shame in the game. This is not easy; life is not easy. You are not alone; you do not have to do this alone.
AKT playdating! A full post to come shortly because spending time with my two best friends and all our of kids and husbands is like healing salve to my soul. Thank you so much for coming all this way up North Karpy and family and for hosting Katie and family. But most of all thank you for being Tab's friend (sing to the Golden girls theme for full effect). I am so grateful to have you in my life.
Applauding my students who pulled off their musical production in 10 days of practices. Their musical, Hello Dolly, was originally scheduled for the beginning of May but was indefinitely postponed due to Covid-19. But with some planning and green phase, they were able to magically pull it together to give two nights of the production for our community. They did a great job and I was proud and grateful to watch them shine.
Summer sporting with two baseball games for Grey this week and one of them was a win! Half of Grey's team is made up of kids that moved up early from the minors league, so it's mostly a bunch of ten years playing in the 11-12 year old division. It's a big of a struggle, but the boys pulled off the win - with Grey sliding into home for the final run. They were so pumped. B and I had two volleyball games which had us coming home late at night but thankfully Miss Hannah was babysitting the kids so they didn't mind one bit!
Making BBQ chicken sammies, kielbasa and haluski, Hawaiian meatballs over rice, frozen pizza, buffalo chicken dip (Gemma made it - it's her specialty!), and walking tacos.
I'll keep Gemma in my prayers, and you as well. I am so sorry that you're struggling. Girl, I have SO been there. I will say this: It will pass... but in the mean time, try to treat yourself as you would a friend. Don't be mean to yourself or drown yourself in guilt. Grace, grace, grace. That's what you need right now.
ReplyDeleteSending you SO MUCH LOVE and strength from across the United States. xoxo