bleh, bleh, bleh.
maybe i should start by saying I'm sharply aware that other people have real problems. Real problems that are big and devastating and awful compared to this #firstworldproblem #healthyfamily complain I'm about to go off on. And I have no business complaining about a single thing in my life when I woke up this morning warm, breathing and with a kind-hearted husband and two healthy babies.
That being said, bleh.
It's snowing again today.
and it snowed yesterday.
and we had a bit of a white out the day before that.
and I am just so tired of winter.
I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to be that girl that gives power to the seasons for my emotional state...but I'm there. I've been there for a few weeks now, but this week I am sitting deep in a muck of frustration - solely related to cold and snow and slush. I'll work out and move my body more when its nice outside and these kids aren't wrecking everything in the house. The kids will log less screen-time when we can get outside. We will be less sick when we can breath fresh air and open the windows. The dogs will get on my nerves less if they can be running outside for most of the day. I will be generally happier if I don't have to wrestle small children in enormous padded coats in and out of their car seats.
I am fully aware that the weather outside really has no bearing on my happiness. I choose how I'm going to feel all day and how I'll react to things that happen in my life. I know this - I rejoice about this; that I determine the way that I feel. That's why I meditate and read books like The Happiness Project and write in a gratitude journal and fake laugh until I really start laughing. And yet, I cannot shake this gloomy mood.
And then I caught a glimpse of this picture from Easter last year and let out an audible groan.
Last week it felt like things were moving in the right direction. We had weekend weather in the high 50's/low 60's. The snow was all melted and the yard was a mess of mud and grass. I tried to remain unhopeful as the weatherman predicted more winter. But I am hopeful girl - so my fingers were crossed and my spirit picked up...but the weatherman was right. And that little glimpse and then gone of the next season was enough to make me extra crabby.
Brandon and I have moved into full-on dramatics now about the weather. Everything that seems to go wrong is put to blame on Winter.
The internet is spotty today: must be the snow!
Grey threw up at 3am last night all over our bed: It's because of this weather.
We were 20 minutes late to our tax meeting last night: getting out the door on time is impossible with this cold!
Kids aren't sleeping through the night: they aren't tired enough because they can't play outside...because of this weather!
We sat at dinner the other day trying to one up each other with the most ostentatious statements we could muster:
Can you even remember what it's like to walk outside without a coat on?
It's feels like a year that I've even felt the bite of sun on my nose and cheeks!
Remember what it's like to roll down the windows in the car and stick your hand out?
With each new outlandish statement, the depth of our yearning for summer was revealed further.
And we are a pair that relishes the four seasons. We often chat about how much we would miss the seasons if we ever moved away from them.
We feel romantic and hopeful in the spring.
We rejoice and soak up the summer.
We feel nostalgic and excited in the fall.
And we cozy up and feel peaceful in the winter.
But when any of the seasons stay a little too long - we start getting frustrated; our moods become the orchestra playing the winners off the stage toward the end of their acceptance speech.
We appreciate all four of you! we want to shout.
Give someone else a chance! we beg.
Don't overstay your welcome there Jack! we wish to scold.
And we don't want to be them! That's not our MO.
Sometimes all you need is a little change in your life to make the difference.
So these three things are our very small plan to stop being bitter to the Winter that is overstaying her welcome:
1. We're putting indoor plants in the bathrooms and kitchen
2. We've moved the furniture in all three bedrooms - something about rearranging a room makes me feel renewed
3. I am sending some cyber traffic love to my 'blog friend' (we're friends, right?) to Shelly in Bush Alaska that has waaaaay more winter than me and who gracefully navigates and reflects on her life as a momma to three sons and a supportive wife to her hubby. If she doesn't complain about having three boys stuck in the house virtually all the time - then I need to get it together over here! She always has interesting posts- but I especially love reading about her 'living in rural Alaska' posts - Like this one and this one and this one!. And Brandon and I read this one together (he had some hunting envy - warning it's graphic) Head on over her way to be inspired if you have the winter blues like me. Thinking of you Shelly and sending you love from PA xoxxo