1 easy way to get both happier and more kind

Thursday, May 29, 2014



This is what we like to call Karma Control over here at Team Studer.  It's when moments in the day pop up that we have a choice to make:  the honest one or the dishonest one.  Or the calm, pleasant one versus the hot tempered, angry one.  In these little instances, we try to keep control over our own karma by choosing the one that will make good things happen (or at least avoid bad things from happening).

As an example, we were out to dinner a few weeks ago with friends and were sat at the bar until we had a table open up.  When we were finally seated, it was obvious that the waitress assumed B had paid for his drink at the bar - when in fact he hadn't; he had just ordered it there.  When she came by to get our dinner order, Brandon told her to add his current drink to our bill too since he hadn't paid for it.  She was surprised by his honesty and thanked him.

The way we feel about it; sneaking a free drink just isn't worth the karma.  Why use up good karma on a free drink when there are much bigger and more important moments that a little good karma could go a much longer way.

So, regularly in life, we try to make the most kind or patient choice when presented with an opportunity for a reaction.  Like, when we're in the slowest possible checkout line at the grocery store we wait patiently and smile while we tell the apologizing cashier 'no problem.' We fight the temptation of road rage.  We leave good tips even if the waitress gets confused or the food takes forever to come out.  We say please, thank you, and hold doors for the people behind us.

We are constantly grateful for the kind people that we have surrounding us in our lives.  Our parents, families, and friends alike.  We have had (and continue to have) role models surrounding us that also make the choice of kindness in everyday situations.  And as mentioned in this article (an interview by Gretchen Rubin (author of The Happiness Project) with Prof. Sonja Lyubomirsky); when we choose kindness or witness our family & friends choose kindness - we don't only feel better about being kind, but actually feel happier.  It's like a double dose of good:  being kind and feeling happier!
"We have found that almost any types of acts of kindness boost happiness...The recipients of kindness “paid the kind acts forward” and even acquaintances of the givers became happier and were inspired to act more generously themselves."
That's not to say we don't lose our temper (usually to those that are closest to us because isn't that the human way?  To be meanest to the ones you love most because you know they'll still be there after it all settles?  ps. i'm sorry & i love you to those of you that stand on the front lines- B, kids, parents, sisters).  And that's not to say we don't experience things that are bad, difficult, or challenging.  But we do try our best to approach all choices with the possibility of making  good things happen; even if it is not the easiest choice in the matter.

The truth is if you want good things to happen in your life; you have to make good things happen.  You have to choose to make the first ripple that will flow out with kindness far outside of your viewpoint.  Eventually, the kindness and goodness finds it's way back to you and you can choose to make more good things happen.

Good things happen
to those that work to make
Good things happen
to those that work to make
Good things happen
to those that work to make
Good things happen
to those that work to make
Good things happen
....again and again.

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