mommas don't let your babies grow up to be internet trolls

Monday, February 25, 2013

A few weeks ago, I was faced with a class A internet troll.  You know the ones, they are just about everywhere comments are enabled on the internet.  They leave their nasty non-critiques on beautiful blogposts and inspirational articles.  They litter every single youtube video with more than 100 views.  They are almost always anonymous or with some ridiculous handle with a fake email address because they know the internet is a hiding place where no one really cares enough to try to actually find them regardless of how much beef they believe they can toss out.

ugh, I don't roll my eyes at anything more than I do when faced with an internet troll.

With my 25 Rules post, I have had my fair share of run-ins with the internet trolls.  I will definitely not be calling anyone out specifically because I'm not throwing gasoline at those fires.  Internet trolls believe they're doing a service by 'stirring the pot,' when really they are by no means contributing any new or interesting viewpoint to the table.  They literally take a dump on the comments and wait for people to be offended.  It's not a critique trolls, you're just a douchebag who wants attention.

I mean, honestly, if you're going to take the effort to comment (and type in that wacky 'prove your not a robot' phrase to do it) - you'd think you'd have something more worthwhile to say than, "this is "stupid" (although trolls almost always use their own heinous synonym for stupid).

Anyway, back to a few weeks internet troll took the effort to comment on my 25 Rules post (don't bother trying to find the comment, I deleted it), and attempted to  leave the most repulsive comment on a post that was originally inspired by my son.
-Oh no, he didn't. -
In my attempt to uncover this troll's identity, I fell into the underbelly of the lowest of low of the internet's potential.  After some lost time (but seriously.) I came back up for air and took a good look at myself.  I was disgusted, sort of horrified, and overall concerned that I had been trapped in a sea of information - albeit total garbage of information - but trapped.

Occasionally I'll run across an article or a video that is truly inspiring or thought provoking.  But for the most part, I am completely impassively scrolling through pages and pages of filler.  Just because I have access to all of this information (a great deal of which is garbage), does not actually mean that I need to be accessible to it at all times.

So then I had a sort of mini-meltdown with the realization that maybe what I need is an overall internet diet.  Because although I was brought to this point by way of an internet troll guide through bigotry and web-hate - it helped me see that even though I'm not entranced looking at that sort of thing everyday - its really the daily garbage that I soak in on the internet that has me sort of in a funk and overwhelmed.  It wasn't just this one moment, but actually for a few weeks now I have become increasingly more concerned about the mindless scrolling that I do throughout the course of the day.  The iPad and my phone are in easy reach for the entire day, and if a moment spares, I snatch them up and mindlessly scroll.

And obviously, if I'm scrolling - there are other things I'm not doing - like mainly enjoying my actual real-life day.

Thus, leads me to my internet dieting for the past few weeks.  It's nothing very set in stone and somedays I still find myself stuck in a youtube black hole of Jim & Pam (of the office) fan videos of their top 65 million cute moments (i'm warning - don't go down that road, it's adorable but also a very slippery slope) - but I've been attempting to limit my access to it so that I don't limit my access to other parts (and people) during my day.  I've removed the facebook app from my phone (shocking! and liberating!!) and I hide the iPad from myself on top of the computer during the day - lame, but out of sight; out of mind.

So sorry for not updating here as frequently right now, but I'm living, man :)  and by living, I mean taking a full blown bubble-mania bath with the kids the other day (thanks to a serendipitous combination of Greyson's secret pouring of half the bubble bath bottle and turning on the Jacuzzi jets.  oops).

and cozy'ing up to Brandon with beer and Darryl Dixon after we put the kids to bed.

Because its not that I wouldn't have done these things before my internet diet, but that I'm fearful (and ashamed, certainly) that I'm not sure I wouldn't have been partially distracted pre-internet diet.  First step to being better is admitting you can be better - right?

So thanks, internet troll?

no, actually, never thanks to the internet trolls.

Mommas, we need to teach our babies that the internet does not give you muscles to say something you won't put your name next to.  If you aren't going to claim it - then don't say it.


  1. I hear you! It's so easy to waste twenty minutes (read: three hours) blog hopping, perusing multiples websites, and "researching" homeschool... Pretty soon I can't see straight and my kids have turned into wild animals.

    I gave up Facebook shortly after the new year, and seriously, I suddenly had SO MUCH free time. It has been so liberating. I am able to focus my screen time on things I actually want to be focused on, which includes both blogging and reading blogs (like yours!) that are thought provoking and worth my time.

    I say good for you for internet dieting. I hate when I am out and see parents ignoring their children for whatever it is they see on their phone screen. I realized at the end of the year, that I was sometimes that mom... and it freaked me out! It feels amazing to be in control of it now and I hope to always remember that I'm the boss-- not the internet (or its trolls!)

    Cheers to bubble baths!!!

  2. Hooray for the break! I think you are fantastic and I really admire you. Frankly, I don't know how you possibly have enough hours in the day to keep up with all the things you do, and still write funny/heartwarming/crazy/inspiring things for blog stalkers like me to read! :) Cheers and thanks to you--I think you are wonderful!