Keto: Month 2

Another month of Keto (our 2nd) and we are still going strong. We had intended to do intermittent fasting for the whole month, but we have discovered that most nights we don't get to eat dinner until well after 8p - so it's been hit or miss. We are still tracking our food using the Carb Manager app, but in the last part of the month, I was operating more on Lazy Keto because I have a better understanding of what and how much fits within my keto macro windows.

Truly, (I know this probably sounds like a huge lie if you haven't experienced the incredible feeling of freedom from dropping sugar and processed foods from your life --yet!), but the weightloss is just an added bonus to eating Keto for me. We began Keto because we wanted to lose some weight and I'll share these before & during pictures because, honestly, it's the easiest way to track what's happening to my body.

But it is so much more about the energy and the clear mind and the space for creativity and motivation. I don't feel clouded by all that tiredness and hunger. I can just be me and that is so liberating. The thought of putting all that garbage of sugars and carbs into my body on a consistent basis makes me so scared. I don't want to feel like that again (sluggish, constantly hungry).

We are coming to understand that it doesn't have to be an all or nothing lifestyle either though. We've had plenty of 'cheats' throughout the month but it was with the conscious and intentional decision that "I'm going to put this food into my body for fuel" instead of just mindlessly snacking and eating all the things that are happen to be in front of us. It is a purposeful choice that we are making each time we eat something because of how it makes our body feel afterwards. Sure, I'll have a piece of dessert to celebrate at a party, but I am also acknowledging what it is made of and how it will make me feel.

That idea alone is so drastically different than how I was eating before which was basically 'Eat all the things because they taste good', with no thought at all to how it would help (or hinder) the way my body feels.

Although there's not a ton of change between July and August - I feel like the inner joy and confidence sure shines out the most in the August picture. I am feeling stronger and more motivated, especially as I'm currently training for a half marathon in October. In the last part of July, I have put in 18 miles of training - and that's definitely 18 more miles on my own two feet than I would have without having the energy before keto (thank you Loni for peer pressuring me into registering for the race! hahha - positive peer pressure is the best kind!)

I track my goals in my planner monthly pages (one of my favorite self-reflection activities for the past two years!) and this month I wrote 12 blogposts (the most for any month this year) AND I wrote my first ever short story (!)...is that because I have more space in my brain for creativity and ideas?

The kids and I have visited many local spots this month (Jim Mayer trail, blueberry picking, Quemahoming dam, Ebensburg Pool, Library, Staple Bend Tunnel Trail0...is it because I have more energy to say Yes to adventures with them?

We had so much fun camping with the kids over the fourth of July, that B and I went and rented a campsite again before the end of summer -even though tent camping with four kids under 10 is a lot of work - it feels doable and -dare I say - fun now...is that because we have the energy to be ambitious and silly?

I don't know for sure if Keto and eating less sugar and processed food is in part to blame, but it definitely feels easier to be my full self and maybe that's because my body is getting the fuel it needed so desperately. 

In terms of weightloss (again, secondary), I didn't lose any (!) weight this month - still holding strong at 8lbs down total; yet my body continues to feel different and lots of people are giving me positive feedback/comments when I see them in person. (thank you!) It can feel pretty frustrating to not see the numbers going down on the scale, but I'm stay focused on the Non-Scale victories that are happening - like clothes feeling too loose, wearing my engagement ring again, wearing a bunch of summer dresses that haven't been worn in a realllly long time, wearing shorts again confidently.

I've also been doing photo comparisons any time I'm feeling discouraged about the scale number. If I start to get distracted by that number- I flip through my phone and find an old picture to side-by-side it to a current one and it gives me that immediate reminder that I'm going in the right direction - maybe not as fast as I would like (hahhaa, story of everyone's life) but at least it's one step forward at a time.

In February, my students did a Valentines day bulletin board and took pictures of couples, including teachers (hah). They snapped this first picture of me and B and as soon as I saw it I hated it -so so much. The person in the picture didn't look like me (the me I feel inside), I didn't recognize her as someone I know and care about. Ugh, I hated it (I still do). She is someone who was so tired and worn out and not taking care of herself. I would come home from school, famished - like a maniac reaching for anything to eat because I was star.ving.

Everything felt like a huge undertaking - I honestly remember thinking this exact line of thought, "I don't want to be so tired anymore, but how do I do that? I should start exercising, but I'm so tired. I should eat better, but I'm also so tired. If I ate better, exercise would be easier - but how do I even start when I'm so tired all the time." I had failed blood donation twice for low iron and even started taking iron pills to try to combat the exhaustion.

And now, I recognize the girl in the second picture. She looks like how my 'soul ball of Tabitha' feels. She is not controlled by food and eats real food that is good fuel for her body systems. She has more energy to play with the kids and get chores done and knocks things off her to do list like a champ - because everything is not so sluggish and exhausting and hunger-inducing. She donated blood again - no low iron - without any pills! She's still tired (mom of 4 over here!) but it's the end-of-a-fun-hard day tired that you fall into a bed and sleep soundly and when the morning comes, you're ready to get out and go for it again! It's not a tired that makes every single thing in the day feel like a chore.

I am most proud of that transformation. Of knowing and recognizing that I didn't like the way I was feeling and then I did something about it! Imagine that! hahaha, what a novel idea.

The girl in the second picture finds time to read and write and play and say yes! She has space in her brain to plan and daydream and brainstorm.  She's someone I LIKE spending time with - which is so comforting because I spend time with her 24 hours a day every single day of my whole life!! She is the only person who will be walking through this whole entire life with me, I want to take care of her; and I finally feel like I am starting to understand that.

Keto: Month 1

So...we are doing Keto. Hah. That's so annoying and I hate being all like, "oh, sorry, can't eat that - we are eating Keto." but this where we've come and this is who we are. hah.

Brandon and I started eating Keto on June 1 and we committed to try it for a month, just to try to reset our eating and food choices. This is not a new thing, we do weird stuff for short periods of time because we're weird and we like challenges.

Prep:  So we set a one month goal of Keto and went for it. I did most of the research - reading up on blogs, following Keto instagram accounts, watching youtube videos, and pinteresting recipes. But it was so helpful to have B totally supportive and doing it with me. We use the app Carb Manager to track our food (it's free!) and it keeps track of all of our macros which I think is the biggest reason we didn't get the "keto flu." We were really serious about sticking to the Keto macros of 70% fat, 25% protein, and 5% net carbs from our caloric intake each day. We also drink tons of water - at least 48-56oz a day which I think helped us.

Initial thoughts: The first two days were strange - we were pretty hangry and our brains felt a little off (kind of like buzzed from alcohol) and then by the end of day three we started to feel good - great even. It helped too that I had already bought food that was Keto approved and we had it on hand. These foods really came in handy those first 2-3 days when our body was trying to adjust: avocado, cheese sticks, eggs, lunchmeat & cheese, and almonds.

Trying new things: Once we were in Ketosis, we started to expand our menu options. I learned about fat bombs and now we always have a batch in the freezer (great for the end of the day when you need a little boost for your macros - or the perfect mid-afternoon energy boost). We made Keto bagels, tried Bulletproof coffee and La Croix/Bubly. Brandon became a master at making zoodles (zucchini noodles), we fell in love with cauliflower rice, and we made tortillas out of fried cheese (mind blown forever).

What I missed: the only thing I was missing during the month was being able to just eat something that was already there. And this is coming from a huge bread and chocolate lover! (I still eat chocolate, just 85% dark chocolate). It is pretty annoying to have to actually MAKE something to eat; you can't just eat whatever is sitting there already. But I don't miss bread, I don't miss fruits (!), I don't miss potato chips - nothing. I just miss not having to do work for food (hahhahha).

The truth: Towards the end of the month, I started feeling a little anxious about going back to eating "normal" again. This month of Keto has literally felt liberating. I cannot begin to explain how much of a prisoner I felt like to food before this. I know that sounds really extreme, but truthfully I felt so hungry all.the.time. I could not get satisfied; I would eat breakfast and then a half hour later I would find myself needing a snack. My portion sizes were out of control because I constantly felt famished and then I was speaking terribly to myself in my mind - but I was so hungry! On top of the hungry I was so sluggish. I didn't have energy or motivation to do much of anything - certainly not exercise, but even tackle a big chore/task. I really didn't feel like that sparkling ball of Tab in my soul; I was so tired and so hungry and so hatefully unmotivated. How long had I been feeling like that? 10 years? my whole adult life?!

And on Keto, I am satisfied. I don't know - I cannot explain this and I am no nutritionist or doctor at all. But I don't have that hungry-sluggish feeling AT ALL. It is nothing now to have a coffee in the morning and feel great until noon when I have a proper brunch. And it tastes so good and I can feel the energy rising up in my body and then I'm good to go until a late afternoon snack. It is honest to goodness freedom. I feel awake and energized and satisfied. Any weight that has been lost is NOTHING in comparison to the freedom of not being hungry and tired all the time. It's the reason I am still doing it now, I don't want to feel like that again. The taste of carbs could not offset that crummy, bloated, exhaustion state.

So what happened? In customary male vs female weight loss; B lost about double the weight that I did. He lost a total of 15 lbs in the month and I lost 8 lbs. Despite the minimal weight loss that I had, I definitely like the person that is in my mirror reflection better now. I also had a lot of non-scale victories in this month; I fit into summer pants that I couldn't when I bought them last year, and I purchased the pair of shorts that came in my Stitch Fix and wore them!!! (big deal bc I haven't worn shorts in public for about 10 years). We didn't do any actual measurements of our body but I did take pictures the first of the months and you can see small changes.

If I'm being honest, it was about the weight at the start of this. I didn't like the girl that was looking back at me in the mirror and knew I needed a change. But now after getting this feeling of freedom from food, the weight just feels like a bonus to actually feeling better. Like my real self can shine through because the fog of hunger and exhaustion isn't blocking the way all the time. I'm still tired at the end of the day and fall into bed with desperate relief - hello, mother of four - but it's a tired that comes from getting stuff done all day and spending time with the kids playing and exploring; actually participating in life!!

Again, I AM NOT A NUTRITIONIST, I'm not even close to an expert on Keto, but this has worked so far for me. I still have a long way to go; I daydream about the day that my 1month 'after' photos will be my 'before' photos - but it takes baby steps...small good choices each day; each meal! As much as the weight coming off feels good - the being awake and energized is more valuable to me; as a mum, wife, and me as my own person. I want to feel like I have the energy and stamina to participate in this one, great, beautiful life. And Keto has helped me.