Around Here Week 28: 07/12-18

 A glimpse into what it is like to be in our family just this moment. 

photo cred: Abba

photo cred: Becky C (thank you!) 

Violet's Junior counselor; Lily

photo cred: B

photo cred: Kristy H

Intentional Outdoor Hours: 321+ hrs (of 1000)
Beautiful (although hot) weather until Thursday when our state was blasted by the smoke coming from the Canadian wildfires. The low air quality is very frustrating (and has me worried about our goaties, chickens, and Osa) but I cannot stop thinking of how terrible it must be up there if it looks and smells like this all the way down here! Our air quality around our home got as high as 310

Reading and finishing Margo's Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe. I really loved it at multiple levels and made so many notes in the margins. Then I started Heart the Lover by Lily King which is my book club pick for my Lit Ladies club. Also still reading, I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith

Summer To Do List Accomplished: 

• created the happy ads for my varsity players and Coach Daddy
• Rusty and I worked hard in the basement den to clean up, clear out, and deep clean. We had two big bags of garbage and one donation bag. Moved the shelf cupboard in to hold children's books (the shelf cupboard that used to be on the back porch) and rearranged the furniture layout. 
• Updated the August calendar to include school dates (eek!)
• Finished my PD course and earned 5 Act 48 hours

Grey visits Montana for fly fishing with his best friends! What a wonderful experience for him to get to travel with his best friends' family to fly fish and explore all week! They had a river right in their backyard and also booked a float with an experienced MT fisherman. I loved seeing pictures all week of him smiling and holding up beautiful trout. The Conns also visited Idaho, saw wild animals at the Bison range (including bison, elk, and a bear!), and got to fish with Nick (who married cousin Morgan and who lives in Montana with their two daughters). I am so very grateful to have Becky and Dan who took such good care of my sonny boy and invited him along on this incredible vacation! It takes so much more than just including him - I know you worried about him, cooked for him, cleaned up after him, endured three teenage boys silliness and antics, got him through the airport and traveling, and sent me pics and updates throughout. Thank you a million times; love you guys like family. 

Violet spends five days at Camp PARC as a peer buddy. She volunteered as a neurotypical designated friend to a neurodivergent camper alongside her junior counselor, Lily (a neurotypical teen) Violet slept in a camp bunk and participated in activities (like crafts and games) and meals together too. Her junior counselor, Lily, was so sweet, encouraging, and supportive (Vi loved her!) Violet's friend Brady let her borrow her phone at night to text me updates on how the day went each night (thank you, Brady!) and she sounded happy each day, which gave me peace of heart. 

However, it was a tough week for a momma's heart. Two kids out of the house for more days than I'm used to. I know that I am the one that needs practice at space (and I told them both that) but I cannot get over what a heartbreaking plan it is that as a parent you spend so much time loving, teaching, supporting, and being near your kids and if you do a good job then they grow up and leave you?! What the actual hell?! I am holding on to two mantras over the next several years as we continue to see our kids grow up and make a wider world for themselves:  

1) young adults don't spend their time thinking about their parents. They are LIVING and having fun and learning about themselves.  They think about their parents when things go sideways. If you're not hearing from them while they are away, it probably means they are having fun and everything is mostly good. (thank you Kate and Bunny for that peace of mind when I'm spiraling in worry). 

2) "A goldfish will grow 2inches in a bowl, 4inches in an aquarium, 6inches in a creek, 12 inches in a pond, and over a foot in a lake. Still the same fish, it just got to grow." My kids need a bigger world (literally, emotionally, independently,  experience-ly) to grow bigger and better. Let go of your grip, momma. Let that goldfish grow.  (I'm the momma in this scenario)...The love though.... so big it literally hurts.

Pura Vida dinner with my friends in Washington DC on Monday night. Back in 2004, as a junior in college, I got to study abroad in Costa Rica for the spring semester. I met some amazing people including some that I still talk to. I went to my friend Emily's wedding (and she to mine) and we are all friends on social media and still comment and send DMs occasionally. In some serendipitous pura vida magic - five of us were all able to meet up on the same night in DC to have drinks and dinner together - after 22 years! Emily, Meg, Marisa, Vicki, and I enjoyed an incredible dinner at ISLA and then B got to meet us all up for drinks at The Crown & Crow. How fun it was to catch up on each others' live (everyone went around the table and did a five minute highlight spiel of the last 22 years, LOL) and then reminiscing over our time in Costa Rica and sharing photos and music that we remembered listening to and dancing to in Costa Rica. How wonderful it was to collapse time on itself and laugh with friends. 

Night away for Mom & Dad since we were already going to be in DC for the Pura Vida reunion dinner - B reserved us a hotel (thank you credit card points!) and we got a road trip, night in a hotel, breakfast, and a walk in the park just the two of us. It will never not be hilarious to me the deep deep sleep that comes with a night in a hotel bed with no kids. A solid, comalike sleep; I'll take that joyfully!

Camp PARC visit & pick up. Olive and I headed out to Camp PARC on Wednesday to see the finale show, it was America themed in honor of the 250th anniversary. Violet got to square-dance with her group. The show was very sweet and included all campers, counselors, and peer buddies. We got a dinner afterwards and got to meet Violet's camper and her junior counselor who she spent most of the five days of camp with. She had a great time and said already that she wants to go back again next year! So proud of our girl and so very happy that she is back home again! 

Girls Trip to Wildwood, NJ. Gemma, Violet, Olive, and I all headed out on a six hour road trip towards NJ for Gemma's Gators team at the Beach Blast soccer tournament on the beach! We stopped four hours in for food at Chili's (finally used a gift card from Christmas!) and then pushed through the last two hours to finally make it to the beach. We shared a VRBO apartment with Kristy (thank you for booking!) and two other soccer players: Gina and Molly. It was tight, but we made the most of it and all found a way to share space and a tiny bathroom between 7 girls! Bless those big girls who played a million games of UNO with Olive and were patient and sweet with both my girls. I packed food (#bigfamilymombrain ) and we were only a block from the beach so it was easy to get back and forth. Gemma and her soccer team visited the boardwalk amusement park on Friday night while Violet, Olive, and I went to the beach until dark. We even got fireworks on Friday night! Saturday morning, Gemma had two soccer games and in between the games - we did a lot of swimming and wave jumping. The Gators didn't win their games, but they looked awesome and played tough; never giving up the whole time. Gem got a fancy girl dinner out with the team on Saturday evening while the little girls and I got ice cream from the boardwalk and barely outrun a severe thunderstorm! I will never get over that I get to be the mom of three daughters; that they get to be sisters. I.will.never.get.over.it.

Thankful for hard working boys who spent the boys-only weekend at home working on projects! Rusty and Reddy helped get the yard cleaned up while Pappy and B cleaned up trees and trimming all around the house between the rainstorms on Saturday. Grateful for you handymen and for teaching our sons to be handymen! Their hard work was happily rewarded with chicken wings from Old Tollgate Inn! 

Time with family and friends: Rusty and Reddy got a sleepover with Chum and Olive and Gemma got a sleepover with Pappy while B and I spent the night in DC on Monday (thank you!!) 

Sporting with the fall sports on the horizon. Rusty finished his all stars baseball tournament on Sunday and then picked up his helmet/ pads/ and jersey for youth football (from summer to fall sports in one week! hah!) Gemma attended three days of weightlifting/ conditioning, had two basketball games, two soccer kick arounds, and the Gators Beach Blast soccer tournament on the weekend. I attended the football booster meeting and signed up for all my duties for the season (team dinner, coordinating senior night game, away game food scheduling, and organizing the red & white game) Gentle and loving reminder: if a mom of six kids, full-time public school teacher, and the wife of the Varsity head football coach can volunteer her time and talents - you certainly can too (I say that with love and encouragement!) B and I both worked the concession stand at the all stars baseball game too - a romantic day date! (LOL). 

Making hot honey chicken nachos, crack chicken sammies, pizza quesadillas, chicken fried rice, meatloaf with potatoes and carrots, and copycat Olive Garden chicken pasta. On Thursday, I spent most of the day cooking and baking to prepare for the weekend. For the golf outing cookie table I made: 4 dozen pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, 2 dozen rice krispies treats, and 2 dozen chocolate covered pretzels. For the soccer tourney in Wildwood I made, 2 dozen chocolate chip cookie bars, 2 dozen double chocolate muffins, french toast (ready-made for reheating), sloppy joes (ready-made for the crockpot), and shredded chicken (ready-made for teriyaki noodles). While in Wildwood, NJ for the soccer tourney in our apartment airbnb, we had: buffalo chicken dip, sloppy joes with microwavable mac&cheese, chicken and broccoli teriyaki noodles, ordered in local pizza, and Hawaiian deli sammies. 

Movement: not a great week for exercise over here, bummer but I rollerbladed 1.1 miles and weighted vest walked NO miles! I did hit a PR in speed on my rollerblades on Tuesday night but in that also made my leg muscles so sore that I was kind of hobbling on Wednesday and Thursday. To add to my minimal exercise this week though, we did walk the boardwalk and very long beach Friday & Saturday and I played in the ocean with the girls twice on Saturday. Moving for FUN! That is the point anyway.

My life in numbers, edit 2

I wrote the first My Life in Numbers post back in 2020 - you can find it here. And now six years later with a span of children ages 16 to 5 years old; my Life in Numbers looks a little different. 

My little sister has three boys under five and it is such a vivid reminder of those days of little little kids that are so full of physical needs. Everyone hanging on you and needing assistance in every single thing. It's so physically exhausting AND mentally exhausting. God bless you mommas out there in the thick of little little kids. I promise, it gets physically easier (a lot of different hard to come too, but the physicality of raising little kids was just a brutal assault...literally). Sometimes my sis calls me at 11a on a weekend and I whisper to talk because all my kids are still asleep?! Meanwhile, she's been up since 5a and put a full day of mom'ing in. Good grief, remember those days!? Again, God bless you mommas of little littles - I'm sending you all the hugs.  

Those days have passed for me, and although I still love a good snuggle from a nephew or rocking a toddler to sleep - I am fully relieved that part of day in and day out is over. Because we are really living in the very sweetest spot right now with kids that are independent leaving my body free most of the day (although I still have plenty of kids trying to sit on my lap all day or literally follow like my shadow all around the house) What a gift it is that they still want to be around me, but also - why are you following me?! LOL, B says at least once a day, "Okay, everyone out; I get to talk to Mom by myself for a second!" 

The physical part of mothering has mostly ended, but it is now emotionally and mentally exhausting (big kids = big problems) Truly though, it is mostly blind joy...because these kids are hilarious and interesting and helpful (mostly) and thoughtful (mostly) and patient (mostly). I sit around in awe and wonder that I get to be the mom of these kids stretching across this canyon of ages and stages. Because we have teenagers and we know the struggles there; we are able to appreciate and have patience for our littlest kids' struggles and we can see how fast they grow up (look at these teens and tweens!) so it is easier to cherish and recognize that little kid magic. And because we have little kids we are able to appreciate all the big kids' independence and thoughtfulness. We can still catch little glimpses of those toddler eyelashes and have such appreciation for seeing them go from small to big.  

We are currently living in such a brief moment in time of the whole span under one roof and it is dazzling to be on the mom side of it. 

I'm not saying it's not hard every single day still (it is - have you tried feeding a family of 8 with four of them athletes? How about laundry for 8 - LOL. How about back to school paperwork for 6? Now put it all together, balance that calendar of sports, homework, laundry, and meals. Girl, it's wild over here).

But I also know that I am about the luckiest freaking son of a gun in the world to be the mom of these six kids in this house with this man right now in this moment. So, I'm setting my eyes to gratitude and holding on for dear life. (I wish you were here to see this Tab of six years ago, you could not have even dreamed!) 

 My life today by numbers: 

42 years old

27 years kissing Brandon

17 years married 

6 children

3 nephews

6 goats

16 chickens

1 dog

1 cat

15 years in our current home

5 bedrooms

4 tvs

3 vehicles

2 tractors

5 tattoos

3 baskets of clean laundry that need folded in our home today

2 times the dishwasher gets run daily

2 cups of coffee this AM

2 books being read currently

8 tabs open on my computer right now

3 lbs of ground beef to feed our whole family at dinner

2.5 years teaching Spanish at my current school

10.5 years experience teaching total

5 years youth cheer coach

8 years youth soccer coach

3 years varsity football coach's wife

7 countries visited

2 languages

3 college diplomas

1 Master's degree

20 books read this year so far
3 book clubs I participate in

9, 878 words finished in my novel

59, 440 words finished in my blog compilation book

2 blogs I manage (this one and TeamStuder Mom)

17 years writing this blog

1,454 posts ever written on this blog

6, 642, 843 views ever on this blog (thanks mostly to this and this)

My raising up kids so far in fractions: 

0 out of 6 kids has a tv in their bedroom

0 out of 6 has a consistent schedule at a paying (real) job

0 out of 6 kids can drive a car (but 1 out of 6 kids has their driving permit!)

0 out of 6 kids has graduated high school

0 out of 6 kids wears diapers!

0 out of 6 kids can vote

0 out of 6 kids have had parents called to the principal's office

1 out of 6 kids have been involved in a fist fight on the school bus

1 out of 6 kids understand basic Spanish

2 out of 6 kids are taller than me

2 out of 6 kids have their own phone

2 out of 6 kids have had a significant other

2 out of 6 kids have had braces

2 out of 6 kids can operate the tractor

2 out of 6 kids have worked for pay outside of our family

3 out of 6 kids have had the birds & the bees talk

3 out of 6 kids have broken a bone (4 broken bones in all)

3 out of 6 kids can do a backflip on the trampoline

3 out of 6 kids have been out of the country

3 out of 6 kids can use the stove/oven unassisted

3 out of 6 kids can fry an egg unassisted

3 out of 6 kids trim their own fingernails
3 out of 6 kids have been out of the country

4 out of 6 kids can read (more than sight words)
4 out of 6 kids can do a 3-string braid

4 out of 6 kids can blow a chewing gum bubble

4 out of 6 kids can tie shoes

4 out of 6 kids can whistle

4 out of 6 kids have had a sleepover at a friends' house

4 out of 6 kids believe in Santa

4 out of 6 kids can consistently sleep in their own bed every night

4 out of 6 kids have double digit ages

5 out of 6 kids have lost a tooth

5 out of 6 kids can ride a bike without training wheels

6 out of 6 kids can write their full name

6 out of 6 kids can wink

6 out of 6 kids can do a front flip on the trampoline

6 out of 6 kids can swim unassisted (Praise the Lord!)

6 out of 6 kids will be in school this fall (span of kindergarten - 11th grade)

6 out of 6 kids can take a shower unassisted 

6 out of 6 kids participated in an organized sport this year

6 out of 6 kids can change a diaper

6 out of 6 kids can change their own clothes

6 out of 6 kids have been to the ocean

6 out of 6 kids live at home full time

6 out of 6 kids hug or snuggle their parents daily

6 out of 6 kids kiss their parents goodbye

Around Here Week 27: 07/05-11

 A glimpse into what it is like to live in our home just this moment. 

photo cred: Bobby B

photo cred: Jenilee L

Intentional Outdoor Hours: 298+ hours (of 1000)
Up 15+ hours this week with lots of sunshiney summer weather. The blackberries are getting ripe and we have been able to find sweet ones hit or miss on our walks. In about two weeks, I think the majority of them will be ready and Violet is eager to make our blackberry pie! Lots of lightening bugs at night too, Olive is our current lightening bug catcher master! Plus we did a hay delivery this week too! 

Reading Margot's Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe and I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith. I am liking them both, just a little distracted this week with other things going on. Not much reading done this week. 

Summer to do list items completed: 

• I cleared out the upstairs hallway corner that became a dumping ground (clothes that don't fit, a box of trophies) and then redecorated it with a shelf to try to keep it from becoming a dumping zone in the future (this is called house-mapping which I recently discovered and I want to learn more!) It looks very cute.
• Brandon went through all his dresser drawers and put a bunch of clothes in the donation pile
• We cleaned out the cupboards in the laundry room and even removed one cupboard (I'm hoping to have the fellas make me a shelf that would hide the water pipes)
• We took apart the boys' old beds (bunks we've had for 13+ years!) and reassembled two new-to-us beds in their room (thank you Aunt Kitty & Tall boy for gifting them to us in the move!) The kids and I did the project while B was at work and we were all very annoyed but also could not stop laughing because it was a logistical nightmare to get the frames and mattresses up two sets of steps from the basement to the boys' room. Gem and Rusty at the bottom of the steps, Grey in the middle at the turn, and me at the top with all four of us grunting, shouting, and hysterically laughing might be a core memory of motherhood for me. So very grateful to have teenagers in the house who can use power tools and carry heavy things; Gem and Grey did most of the room while I peeked in occasionally to check on them. God bless teens, honestly. 
• B burned the huge pile of wood that we have been collecting over time on a rainy and overcast day. He also took down the old dog shelter in the front yard and burned those pallets too! 
• I went through and sorted all the canned goods into a) food we eat b) cans that can be donated c) cans that are expired (oldest one: 2021!) Once I cleared out the can cupboard, I reorganized them in the pantry because the cupboard they used to be in will be removed for the kitchen/dining room facelift project
• I organized and cleared out the kitchen pantry - huge job and I was mostly cranky about it (sorry everyone! LOL). I got a bunch of mini lazy susans so I could see what we have in stock before randomly buying all the regular stuff without really knowing. I put the non-expired canned goods in there, I put together a shelf for the top to make use of the high ceiling space, and I went through all our reusable and grocery bags (#Lordsavemefrommyself)
• All three of the boys had their well checks and everyone looks good and healthy. Rusty and Grey had vaccines too. I got everyone's paperwork done and ready for the upcoming school year! 

Cousin backyard campout! Violet and I set up the tent in the yard and we made smores over the fire ring. We met a little toad friend on the back patio and then all settled into the tent for the sleepover. It wasn't more than about 20 minutes until all the kids decided they were too chicken to sleep outside all night LOL. So it turned into a kid campout in the living room which was just as fun anyway! We tried! hah! We got a full day of playing on Thursday as I was babysitting the fella boys - we went blackberry picking and played Titanic on the swing on my Agnes Tree. 

Haircuts for my fellas - always appreciate you Lamont! 

Smiling at the videos of Big Boy the steam engine passing through. My family went to go see it and sent videos and our Aunt Marlene brought photos of our gram and pap to the track because they would have loved to see it (crying forever!).

Dropping Violet off at Camp PARC on Saturday afternoon for the next five days!  Camp PARC is "a residential summer camp experience...for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their neurotypical peers." Violet is attending as a peer buddy for the youth mini camp session. So she will be a friend to her camper and then she and her camper also share a junior counselor (a neurotypical teen volunteer). Many young people in our community volunteer at Camp PARC including some of Violet's friends and teammates, so she knows other peer buddies and junior counselors. It's no surprise to anyone that follows along with our family, that Violet was excited to try something new (this girl wants to do all the things!) I dropped her off mid-day and helped her get unpacked in her bunk and we learned her junior counselor and camper's names and then I left her there! I didn't cry the whole time (good job, me) until I was pulling out of the camp and whispered - "see you on Wednesday, baby. proud of you."

Dropping Grey off with the Conns late Saturday night for their trip to Montana. So grateful he gets to go and with such good friends (and safe and loving family - thank you Becky and Dann!!) but good grief, a whole week! I know he will have such an amazing time and experience a new place and that makes me so grateful and happy. HappySad. all the dang time in motherhood - I swear. 

Grad parties this week: friend/ football teammate Kaden Valentine 

Time with family and friends Rusty had a play/quad day with Abe and Calvin, Violet visited Giada's house and G slept at our house that night then she had a play day with Evaley at our house (Ev went Camp supplies shopping with us!) Gemma did a lot of babysitting this week: once for Norah and three times for the Bridges boys.  Gem also had a sleepover with Abby at our house and a night swim at the Lasure girls' house too. Grey went to the driving range with Gabey, Brycey, and Reedy. We had a late night swim at Pappy's house with friends (Brycey, Reedy, Peyton, and Brady) after football and basketball games. The kids cannonballed and swam until 11:30pm!

Heartache for the family of Nolan Xavier Wells. I am astounded every day that it is not a universal understanding that we should all take care of one another. Your kids are my kids. His kids are my kids. Her kids are my kids. Their kids are my kids. All the kids are my kids. One thing about me is I'm going to wait until your baby gets in the door. My kids know that - all their teammates and friends know this. I am not driving away until I see you open that door and walk in. You will be getting home to your momma and dad and I will watch you do it before I leave you. I have stayed long after practices have ended until parents pick up their kids. I have seen kids that did not even come with us waiting and have given rides home or offered my phone to call parents and then waited with them until their parents arrived. I will not leave you until I can see you are safe. Are we not all doing that? Are we not all teaching and modeling that for our children? 

Sporting with one all-star baseball practice for Rusty and then the start of the all star baseball tourney and home run derby on Saturday. Gemma had two soccer kick arounds and one basketball game. She and Grey attended five weight lifting and conditioning sessions too. Grey also had one football joint practice with CV. B went golfing with the football coaches for their annual playdate. 

Making bbq chicken fried rice on the Blackstone, smash burgers (Grey made and grilled), spaghetti, copycat crunchwrap supreme tacos, hot dogs with shells&cheese for the cousin campout, homemade pizza, sheetpan chicken fajitas, takeout pizza for the night swim,  For breakfast, I made pumpkin double chocolate muffins, french toast, pancakes, and chocolate croissants. I've also been adding cottage cheese into the scrambled eggs for extra protein for everyone and it is delicious! For weight room Wednesday I made strawberry crinkle cookies and for dessert I made cowboy cookies (3 dozen of which I packed up and put in Grey's suitcase for Montana!)

Movement: I skated 3.4 miles this week and weight vest walked 5.1 miles this week. Renee and I met at a skating rink that a friend has in his farm fields (her husband plays in a pick-up roller hockey league there and all the guys pitch in to keep it asphalted every few years. There are even lights for night time games - how cool!) What a perfect evening yapping and skating with a friend - we hope to keep it on the schedule!