Around Here Thirty-Two: 08/05-08/11

A little glimpse into what it is like to live in our home just this minute.

Intentional Hours Outside: 369 hours (of 1000)
Up 18 hours this week, and I got in about an hour of those every morning this week while taking the pups for a walk before B left for work.  It was so nice to get in some alone(ish) quiet time and outdoor hours AND physical activity AND make the dogs happy.  That's quadruple bonus there, so really it should be happening everyday....the only downside is that I have to bail on that extra hour or so of sleep in the morning, but I think it's justified, right?  (try to tell my energy levels that at about 5p, hah!)

Reading When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling to Grey at bedtime - our illustrated edition arrived this week and Grey is loving having the beautiful pictures to accompany the story as well (thanks Russ for the suggestion!)  Also dipped back into (after months!) my audible while on a dog walk this week and picked up where I left off Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt and I'm glad to be back in the story after such a long break!

Loving getting a visit in with my longtime friend Jessica on Friday as she was back in town for the weekend.  (hi JP!) It is always so nice to see her as she's one of those friends that even if great lengths of time pass between being with each other - you just pick up where you left off last time like it ain't no thang.  We had some time to chat and laugh while our kids played and it was just so comfortable and soul recharging!

Holding it down solo with EIGHT kids on Saturday morning while B was at a golf outing and I kept our cousins so their mumma and dad could run a 5k that morning.  It was such a wild and fun morning and I was so grateful that Ariel was there (the oldest cousin) and she was so sweet and helpful with the babies.  At one point I had Rusty (2months), Brookie (6 months), Violet and Ben (both 22 months) on my knees all together and was bouncing them to 'Mr. Frog went a'courtin'  #legworkoutday

Finishing our CVAA Intramural Kickball season on Sunday night with the playoffs and a potluck celebration at the field.  My co-chair Russell and I were pretty pleased with how the whole season went (our first ever!) and we are already in talks about what intramural leagues and tournaments we can set up for the rest of the year.  As I should only expect from our CV community, everyone showed up to the playoff games with arms full of snacks to share and everyone took turns reffing and watching our babies and taking photos....and it's all just so amazing and filled with the kind of spirit and kindness that I associate with our high school alma mater.

Celebrating my mumma, it was her birthday this week!  I went out to dinner with her and my baby sis Uch (missed you Kitty!) on Saturday night and we had a real grown up dinner and so much fun chatting way into the evening in her honor.

Feeling excited for our Booboo who will be the flag football quarterback this upcoming season.  They got their pictures taken this week and I about keeled over from how adorable he looks in his little jersey.  He is so obsessed already with the game and with being with his friends and he can hardly wait for their games to start; we are working on getting him to learn all the plays and lots of passing and football jargon going on over here.

Spending an afternoon at the Quemahoming dam (probably the last of the summer!) only because of the sweet help of our family friend Taylor.  I have been itching to get one last Que visit in before we run out of vacation days and Taylor came to my rescue!  The idea of taking all four kids by myself was too great, but she helped us get all packed up:  kids, lunch, sand toys, Rusty's sun tent, and towels (!!) and we were able to spend a few hours in the sun, sand, and water.  I even had a fifteen minute stint of complete blissful wonderment that happens when mommas get to sit quietly in the shade with no interruptions!  The kids played on the playground and Rusty slept soundly in the tent...seriously magical.  (thank you Tay!)

Singing and volunteering at Vacation Bible School this week with my Gemmi Ro.  So grateful that her favorite friend Miss Hannah is her group leader to help her feel brave and confident!  We are having fun and ready for the big show (tonight!)

Praying that hermit crab heaven exists as we lost BOTH the kids' hermit crabs this week in some bizarre hermit crab epidemic apparently.  They were pretty bummed and we had little funerals for them each after Grey dug burial holes and created crosses out to sticks to adorn their final resting spots.  Rest in Peace Princess & Hermit.

Making all things banana as we let almost the whole bunch go bad.  We had these delicious banana gobs and we made one of the kids' favorites - these breakfast banana cookies too.  Korean beef was on the menu one night because it's a homerun every time and another night we enjoyed this delicious round stead over egg noodles meal from the crockpot.  So so good!!

the bad guy

ya know what no one ever really tells you before you start raising your own young kids?  I'm talking about like preschoolers to elementary school kids right now (although I'm sure it applies to teenagers by about 1000 more degrees, good grief.  Bless you mommas of teens out there!!)

The thing no one ever really tells you about is that you spend the majority of your day being The Bad Guy.

"No, you can't have chips for breakfast.
You have to brush your teeth.
Put your dirty clothes in the hamper, not just on the floor.
Clean up these babydolls and sports balls!
Stop spraying your sister in the face with the hose.
If you can't take turns sharing, no one's going to be allowed to play with it at all.
No, you can't just eat Popsicles for lunch.
When you're done with your plate, take it to the sink.
That's enough tv time for today.
You have to practice reading every day.
We don't go to a restaurant to eat every night because it costs money, eat what I made.
Get in the shower....and yes, you have to wash your hair.
Yes, I have to trim your fingernails and toenails.
No, you cannot put your hand in the toilet water.
You know the rule is if it's not yours; don't touch it - so how did Daddy's keys get stuck in the barbie car anyway?
Yes, it's time for bed. "

I mean, I'm like the worst.person.ever. all day long to these kids.

straight mean muggin' all day long.  Baby Rusty gets me.

Sure there are these tiny blissful moments sprinkled throughout that the skies open up and I can clearly see how amazing this life is and how awesome our little humans can be and the world makes sense and I have a grateful and content heart.

but for the most part, I'm wondering how every single conversation I have feels like a negotiation.  Being the bad guy all day long can wear on a person's soul, man.  Like, how did I even become this person?  I used to be fun and silly and carefree...and now I'm the least fun person living in this house.  They think I'm the no fun police, and usually I kind of am because I'm responsible for raising humans
and...you guys, a lot of the time, fun is also a mess
and gosh, I'm so tired
like too tired to clean it up
too tired to fight about who's cleaning it up
too tired to give myself the internal berate that comes with this entire thought process, so I'm just stopping right here.

AND...
I'm even the bad guy to myself most of the day.

"Why are you always shouting?
Shouldn't eat that!
No time to sit down, look at this house!?
Good Lord woman, get your shit together.
What are you forgetting?
You're late!! AGAIN!!
Are you sure they're turning into responsible citizens of the world?
Are you sure you loved them enough today?"

I get it; someone needs to be the bad guy or these kids will grow up to be terrible, entitled, lazy, dumb adults.  I get all that.

but it also doesn't make it feel any better to BE the bad guy all day, everyday; clinging to the hope that one day my adult children will return to me with arms wide open saying 'thank you Mum for being so horrible to us so that we could grow up and not be jerks.'

On the bright side, I do know that future exists because Brandon and I have each gone back to our own once-upon-a-time-Bad-Guy-Mommas and thanked them (and we'll say it again now, THANK YOU MUM and GIGI!) And they aren't Bad Guy Moms anymore, now they're more like the opposite of Bad Guy Moms and the extreme opposite when it comes to being a grandma.

But even though I'm sure it exists, that future image holds little weight in the right this second as I find myself in a stare down with a six year old who "doesn't need to wash his hair because it's fine and I'm not the boss of his own body."  (in case you're wondering - my rebuttal is "I AM the boss of this house though and I say my children will be clean, so wash your hair or I will do it for you, do you hear me Greyson Rudy!?!")

#someoneholdme
also
#bringchocolate

Aaaaanyway,
sending love and positive vibes to all you Bad Guy Mommas out there.  Whether you're fighting the little battles of preschoolers and elementary school kids like me - or you're on to the bigger, scarier battles of the teenagers.  You go on with your Bad Guy Momma self because someday (oh, that glorious someday) they'll thank us and if we're lucky we'll get to be the Hero'est Grandmas EVER.


Now let's all hold hands and repeat the Wreck-It-Ralph bad guy affirmation, because #momlife

Around Here Thirty-One: 07/79-08/04

A glimpse into what it is like to live in our home just this minute.

Intentional Hours Outside: 351 hours (of 1000)
Up twenty hours this past week, enjoying some outdoor time at the Cultural Village my sister created to celebrate opening day of the AAABA tournament (my cousin Morgan and I painted faces while the big kids spent almost the whole time rolling down a hill with a new friend, hah).  I took the dogs for walks a few times this week, sometimes with Rust in the carrier, or stopping a thousand times as Gemmi snagged blackberries off the bushes the whole way.  (Did you know the updated RunKeeper app now let's you create challenge groups?  My sisters and I are in competition together to see who can get 30 miles total in this month!) We headed over to Pappy and Gigi's house for dinner and another round of night swimming too!

Reading When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi and Harry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling to Booboo at night.

Astonished that the week flew by so fast.  Seriously, I feel completely confused how that happened - proven in the fact that I'm finishing this post a day late and with nothing else to show for my blog for the whole rest of the week.  yeesh, that felt like a time lapse...alien abduction, maybe? you never can tell.

Having the funnest time ever with my sisters on our quasi-SCF weekend (scf = sisters come first.  sidenote: we have matching SCF tattoos!)  The three of us and our momma had a girls movie and dinner on Friday and watched Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in the movie Sisters (hysterical and I loved it so much).  On Saturday afternoon Gemma, Rust, and my sisters and I all met up for lunch and pedicures at the mall (Violet was on a special day with Gigi while Grey had a special double sleepover with Chum) and then Saturday night - we had a Line Dancing lesson with our friends to learn the Boot Scootin' Boogie followed by dinner, drinks, and dancing that had me smiling and laughing until (wait for it......) one am (!!)  seriously.  so so fun.  pretty tired on Sunday, but worth it.

Enjoying a wonderful day at Delgrosso's amusement park with our Mimi and cousins on Wednesday.  It's one of my favorite summer traditions; I love seeing the kids with all their Studer cousins and my kids love getting time to play with them where fun rides abound.  Grey headed off with his older cousins and they hit every single big ride there - Grey even riding the Drop tower for the first time (!! he said he'll wait until he's a little older to ride it again, hah).  Gemmi hung with the little ones in the kiddie area and relished in being their 'babysitter;' helping them get on and off of rides and keeping everyone in a line.  (thank you Mimi and Aunt Eileen for such a great day!)

Celebrating our family and friends.  Rusty hit the two month mark, our new friend Maisy was born last week (Congrats Stahls!!), and our bff Charlie man turned four this week!

Finishing my first round of the 21 day fix program and feeling a little frustrated with the scale.  I read this article though and it had me feeling a little better that I have a lot of great internal things happening right now (metabolism resetting, muscle building, lung capacity growing) and the external stuff (weight loss, inches) should come in the next round.  Had a long reassuring conversation with B about feeling annoyed about it, to which he said, "I will actually go sledgehammer that scale right now - you know the number has like nothing to do with it woman!!"  hahha.  I can feel myself changing on the inside - so much more energy and stamina and everything is getting easier to do - hitting +10,000 steps almost everyday and doing a workout and walking the dogs...but still - I could use a big dramatic change on the scale for a freaking ego boost, man.  In no way am I writing this to fish for compliments, I'm just putting it out there for all your other mommas (or daddas or aunts, or readers in general) who feel me on this.  Let's keep going for it though even though it's so flipping annoying.

Giggling about Gemma calling Rustin 'grunchy' when he makes his unhappy face.  It's a mishmash of grumpy and grouchy and I think it's a perfect description of his crabby little face.  He is pretty grunchy yet, but we're slowly getting to a happier boy (we hope!)

Getting the butterflies about back-to-school and the fall season.  gah, I just love it so so much.  I'm trying desperately to focus on the last week's of summer, but I've also been daydreaming about fall temperatures and color filled trees and Friday night lights and backpacks and settling into the school year routine.  oh gosh, focus Tabitha!  There's still plenty of swimming pool hopping and late night bedtimes (sometimes not until 10:30p!) ...but oh boy, I can feel autumn blowing in my bones already.

Making these cake mix chocolate chip cookies to celebrate National chocolate chip cookie day - it was an easy enough recipe the kids could do it completely on their own, plus by the time we got around to making them in late afternoon, I had no patience left to make them from scratch (they turned out delicious, so who cares!)