Greyson at six

my booboo,

When your birthday rolls around, it always seems like an impossibility.
Impossible that another year has swept on by.
Impossible that we have a child as old as you are.
Impossible that you've grown in all the ways a child can grow, but most notably that you are depending on yourself a little more and needing us slightly less.



You, my booboo, are a great kid.  Honestly, you really are and we are so proud and grateful to be your family.

This past year has been a big one for you; you played on your first real team (tball last spring) and since have played on a soccer team and are now playing with the seven and eight year olds on your machine pitch baseball team.  You started Kindergarten in the fall, learned to swim with no floaties, and can ride a bike without training wheels.  You rode your first 'real big kid' amusement park ride this summer and just this week, requested an alarm clock to wake up for school in the morning on your own.

Six for you, Booboo, means stretching across the extremes.  It means going fast; rollerblading, riding your scooter, bike, and quad at speeds that make your poor mumma squeeze her fist, but bite her tongue.  I have watched with a weary heart so you can test your limits and figure out what feels right for you and your courage to try something new.  It also means going slow; chasing your baby sister, slow dancing with Gemma when she asks, and sounding out words to read.

You are incredibly wild and strong, it seems (as it always has) to be a thing that needs to get out of you, like destruction that needs to be released from your soul.  You run, jump, climb, tackle, throw, catch, dig, punch, kick, and stomp.  When you play it is tiring to simply watch, let alone be enlisted as a participant.  We regularly hear from other people, 'boy, can't wear that kid out,' and we nod in full understanding.  This is why every few months, you have a full body shutdown in which your body calls a strike and you sleep for almost 24hours straight.  

But you are also gentle and patient and surprise me regularly with how you control that urge to be wild so you can take care of others.  Your teacher has told us each time we've seen her this year, 'I'd take twenty Greysons any day - he is a friend to everyone.' You make us feel special by asking us how we feel and how our days are going and how you can be helpful.  Your knee jerk response tends to be kindness and for that we are the most proud of you.

You make us laugh with your silly goofiness. You like having inside jokes with each of us, and being the leader of any activity, and having us watch you do things.  You like to be part of 'the group' and try to be adaptable to fit in whatever the group looks like at the moment.  When the group is younger, you try to teach and play gently - when the group is older, I watch you toughen up and try to learn what it means to be 'cool.'

We have always felt blessed that you are our first; the one that is heralding in the next age and stage through parenthood.  You have always seemed to graciously ease us into the next phase and we are so grateful to you for this.  We're learning and growing right along with you, Grey, and your patience and kindness is a beacon to our whole family.  Greyson Rudy Studer, you are a gift to so many people, but no one more so than us.  

I love you forever, my booboo

even when you keep getting so big. 

your mumma

the importance of girlfriends

We made our annual road trip this past weekend to celebrate #aktpluskids with my two best friends and all of our kids in tow.  Currently, that equals three moms and six kids but will be bumped up to eight kids before the end of the year.  We are playing Zone Defense in a big way and we are definitely 'those people' when we call ahead to restaurants to give warning that we are on our way, and when we are getting noise complaints at 8:30pm on a Saturday night for the pillow sack races that were happening in the hotel room.

But since we don't all live in the same house (like we did back in our senior year of college), nor do we live in the same neighborhood (like we did in all the other years in college), nor are we even in the same state (two in PA and an hour apart and one in NC!!) - it's important to us to do this - to make the effort to bring all of us together for a big, wonderful, whiny, messy, hilarious weekend at least once a year.



Meeting halfway for us, means heading out to Richmond,Virginia: a four hour drive from the north for the Studers and Fiores and a hike up from the south of about the same distance for the Hubbards.  With kids ranging from six years old down to 18months, it's a trek to say the least - but pulling in at nearly the same time and getting that wave of relief that we were with 'our people' was awesome.

Doing our #aktpluskids trip means quite a different thing than getting together with my two best girlfriends like the good old days.  Long gone (like long, long long gone) are the days of staying up late and giggling over drinks and then sleeping in and enjoying a long brunch at some hip little hole in the wall diner.  Like, long gone.

Our trips now mean mostly sharing.  Sharing snacks, and water bottles, and photo stream albums, and seats and laps, and toys, and diapers, and group texts, and stories from our lives in these short little bursts riddled with interruptions of things like, 'honey, don't put that in your mouth,' or 'where does it hurt?'

Our trips mean meals together, which is symbolic and important in and of itself.  Even if the meals are breakfast at the hotel pool, or mostly corralling kids back to the table at restaurants that tease small children with their seemingly inconsequential attributes like a staircase or nearness to a parking lot.

Meals where food gets divided, shared, spilled, and well, some is eaten and some is packed up in takeout containers for when any of the kids are inevitably hungry in the five minutes within the table.  Meals that start out as an order-in pizza party in the hotel room and sweetly morph into a surprise birthday party for my son with cupcakes and hidden presents that give him a grin that leaves a lump in my throat.

Our trips mean packing up and heading out to brave exciting and interesting tourist spots that are mostly selected by how much energy it can expel from our six wild things.  We got to visit the Romp 'n Roll indoor play space, Sweet Frog ice cream shop, the Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens, Maymont Park, our hotel pool, and Three Lakes Park & Nature playground.  A little rainy and chilly weather was no match for our kids as they marched, skipped, climbed, explored, jumped, and raced their ways around.

 It means counting to six.  A lot.

  

It's most definitely a different kind of girlfriends weekend than we used to have, both filled with more joy and love but also more challenges and detours.  And we each now live in our own little version of motherhood; drowning sometimes in the worries and pride and questions and doubt that comes with our own unique kids.  And it would be incredibly easier to decide that we live too far away, and we have too much busy happening, and new babies to grow, and our own lives to try to juggle.

But we also know that life is too short and too fast and too messy, and sometimes you blink and impossibly eleven years have passed since you all slept under the same roof and sipped on glasses of boxed wine while watching Sex and the City episodes.  These two women are my very best friends; they know the writing on the walls of my inner soul and not only that, but when it was written and in what font and color, and why it was written in the first place.  The relief of being with my girlfriends always outweighs the challenge it takes to come together in this season of life.

And I hope with all my hopes, that we will always believe that as the seasons continue to change for each of us.  Because life IS too short and too fast and too messy and someday we'll blink and my kids will be creating wedding guestlists and I won't even have to ask to include my best friends because, of course, they will already be listed, not for my benefit; but because their influence and support and stories have been important and valuable to my kids.

akt fo lyfe.
love you so much.

Around Here Thirteen: 03/26-03/31

A glimpse into what it is like to live in our home right this minute.

Intentional Hours Outside:  53 hours (of 1000)
I had big hopes for this week (I hoped to get in 30+ hours this week alone!) but then the weather actually was kind of cold - whhhhy so windy?! - and also this baby in my belly and this toddler baby in the world who suddenly wants all the time to be held is wrecking havoc on my lower back and I've been fairly slow moving in chores and cranky.  excuses for days over here, friends.   I am finding creative ways to up our outdoor time - like lunch outside that turns into playtime.  And taking the kids to the playground late one evening while the chili simmered and Daddy brought his laptop to finish his work while getting to watch and laugh at our wild things run amok.  I'm hopeful that the first 100 hours will be the hardest to reach.

Reading Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin with the book club and The More of Less by Joshua Becker.  Also taking small bites of my Buddhism for Mothers book and some passages really hit home this week.  Reading that book is really like my daily dose of mediation in the form of reading and reflecting on the passages.

Finishing a 5K on Saturday - whoot whoot!  I may have been the very last person over the finish line (I'm not exaggerating) but at 29 and a half weeks I walked my way through that 5K while the ambulance stalked closely behind (hah).  I was so glad to get in some quality time with my friend Stacy and our girls (Grey had a soccer game) and the Daddies all spent the morning walking, talking, strolling, and enjoying the sunshine (even though it was pretty chilly).

Enjoying family time for Easter and soaking in the beautiful weather.  It was a busy day running around between church and family's houses but I won't ever complain about having places to go where people love you and give you delicious food and hugs.  We had a great day and the kids loved getting in some serious playtime with their cousins.

Ordering some things I've been dragging my feet about.  I finally ordered two new phone chargers since Brandon and I have been swapping back and forth the one charger we have that is all frayed anyway.  I also ordered a bunch of prints from Shutterfly to update all of the kids' baby books (even Studerbaby4's book with pictures of his sprinkle and my baby bump this far!).  It felt good to knock a few things off of that mental to do list.

Visiting Greyson's school Thursday night for their annual PTO reading night event.  Grey was so proud to show us all around and to introduce us to his friends from his class and bus.  The kids got to see a real tortoise and even touch a little caiman! They made crafts and played games and we all had a great time.

Making coconut chicken strips (I baked them instead of frying because I hate cleaning up the mess of it), and they turned out great and we had no kid complaints (shocking!)  Brandon went to work on making this crockpot beef and broccoli and it was honestly divine.  And the girls and I made these addictive little pretzel/kiss/m&m bites for a road trip weekend! but for the most part, Easter candy has our baking on hold for the time being.

Feeling very very very excited about this weekend and our annual AKT plus kids road trip!  My two best friends and all our kids (6 of them altogether so far!) will be spending a fun, wild, LOUD, and silly weekend in Richmond, VA and I cannot wait.  Goodness, I love those ladies and I love those babies.  You can follow our momma & kid playdate adventures on instagram through #aktpluskids (because we're those people).