The geography of home

When I have lived in the country of my youth, the geography of home is the rolling hills and green lush of the Appalachia in western Pennsylvania.  It's the ability to walk in front of a window stark naked without the fear of being seen by any neighbors (although, our mom was always telling us to close the curtains, girls!)  Home is the windows down with the radio on and a hand rolling through the wind.  It's the slam of a screen door, the distinct scent that precedes rain and the only minutely different smell just before it snows.  Home is the night sky visible stretching from each horizon uniquely lit depending on the moon phase.  I have grown to love the sad song of the mourning doves and relish in taking hearty deep inhales of fresh cut grass or the lingering scent of someone's backyard fire.  Home is the sound of leaves and gravel crunching under boots and the taste of wild blackberries pulled off with stained fingers from the bushes back by the woods line behind the house.

But somehow, when I lived in the city, the geography of home was pliable and bent and curved into something comfortable and familiar for my new life.

Home became the steep stairs up from the subway to the glint of sunlight and skyline above to feel like you were emerging into life again.  It was the steady flow and rhythm of pedestrians on a crowded sidewalk in midtown on Saturday afternoons.  I came to love the melody of different languages and accents as they wove together in an original score for each day of commute as I walked along in blissful anonymity; the invisibility of living in a place along with a million other people.   Home is the individual heat signatures that my footprints left on the paths I followed each day on top of those billions of other footprints left before and since mine.  The lines my soles wore into the sidewalks each morning on my commute, past my morning hot tea and bagel shop; a kind greeting with the old man behind the counter, up and over the pathway, winding past the wall where graffiti messages were painted that felt like personal messages just for me, up the school steps and into the building to receive wide grins and hugs around my waist from my students.

If I have a home that is steadfast and true; one that doesn't adapt to my physical surroundings, it is the landscape of his arms wrapped around me and the nook in the space between his jawline and collarbone that seems as though it was carved out specifically for me at the beginning of time, or maybe has been so worn in after all these years of snuggling in as sleep slipped behind our eyelids.  It is the feeling of warmth and safety from his arm carefully weaved beneath my neck and down along my side as the steady rise and fall of his chest keeps my rested hand moving in time to his breath.  Home is the familiar, smooth motion of his hands pushing aside my hair so his lips can find the nape of my neck.  It's is the smell of him that gets caught in the seams of his white tshirts; a mix of chewing tobacco and cologne and whatever it is that makes him him.  A scent that smells so good even when it shouldn't.  Home is the sound of his voice from across the other side of the phone, the room, or the pillow.  His very nearness can transform any place into home, the background blurs and fades, and we're together and that's all that mattered anyway.

The only map of home I've ever needed are the lines on his face where smiles meant just for me are held.  Nestled there in the crook of your neck, that is my home.

happy valentines day.

(our sixteenth, this year.

and i still like you as much as our first!)

yours,

always.

Around Here Week Five: 1/30-2/5

A weekly review of what it's like to live in our home right this minute.

Intentional hours outside:  7.85 hour (of 1000) 

This week was a turning point for me in looking at my outdoor hours. For the past month it felt like a chore and something that needed checked off the list. But this week, it was ha,tingly obvious that making outdoor time a daily occurrence is such a relief to my soul. When things start to unravel with my patience and the kids are especially wacky, a trip outside to stomp about in mud puddles or a walk to the mailbox does incredible wonders for all of us.  It's the best kind of 'distraction' tool I have for restarting the day for both the kids and me.  I'm feeling pretty excited and energized about this goal! 

Reading Dear Mr. You by Mary-Louise Parker. I held off on reading it until our January book club book was all finished. I knew it was going to be a big deal for me after I read one of the 'letters' from the book and cried my eyes out; weeping all over myself and trying to catch my breath. Then I tried to read it aloud to Brandon and had to keep stopping because he couldn't understand me through the sobs. I officially started it this week and got through one paragraph before closing it and kissing the front cover (yeah, I'm that girl).  I love it and I'm already mourning the fact that I'll probably finish it this week as I'm taking it intentionally slow to read to drag it out as long as possible. Also, we have selected the February book for the Inspired Readers book club and we've selected A Man Called Ove: A Novel and we begin on February 15, so there's still time to join! 

Struggling with our current laptop situation. Miss Violet dumped an entire cup of my warm coffee on top of the laptop on Thursday and I got there just as she was laughing maniacally holding the empty mug. I snatched up the laptop and rushed it off to dry tent-position on the drying mat in the kitchen, sort of lightly tapping any leaking coffee out. A few hours later, with no hope, I plugged it in and much to my total surprise, it worked! Well kind of...everything was clickable and opening but they keyboard is on the major fritz (the "i" key isn't visibly stuck, but is pretending it is and no other keys work).  Thankfully, I immediately uploaded all of our January 2016 pictures to Shutterfly (and amazingly had the weird karmic foresight to have uploaded all 2015 photos just last week!), so at least for that. We lost no photos for eternity. I tried to blog today but the keyboard still doesn't work and so I restarted with full understanding it may never come back on again. It showed some promise but then a super loud buzzing alarm-type noise starts to sound and so I've given up twice today so far. Thus, this is being done on the iPad which is the cause for weird photo sizes or style issues (#FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS)

Loving getting to know big kid Greyson.  I know I just said this recently but he is really turning into a real boy and it's so much fun to get to know him as a big kid who comes up with his own ideas and jokes and unique Greyson-isms. He came home yesterday and asked if I knew what Bloody Mary was! (He wasn't scared more like curious and kind of excited to be 'in the know') I said I didn't hear about it until I was at least in fourth grade and he said the third graders on the bus told him about saying it in the mirror and she'll come out and kill you.  I was cracking up - because really? Still, some 25 years laters we are still telling the same urban legends in elementary school? Amazing what stands the test of time, no? He asked if it was true and I told him, "I don't know, I was always too afraid to do it." Because I like keeping mystery and magic and a little bit of spookiness in life.  He can figure it out on his own.  And for my sake when he is fifteen years old and hates my guts:   He also told me last night on the way home from the basketball game: "I'm glad, like really glad that you're my Mum." 

Being followed by "my little shadow" Gemma Rose. Honestly, I can't turn around without her being there.   Her little chatterbox mouth and her twirling around is every.where.i.go and I know someday I'll miss that so much, but can a momma get a minute to herself? Hah. She's been testing out my limits this week too by ignoring me or trying to negotiate with me when I ask her to do anything and it's endlessly exhausting. She has been fantastic at playing with Violet and always caring and ready to cuddle, but she's pushing it right now as she's on the verge of being four!! 

Celebrating a new cousin with a baby sprinkle party last Friday night with our Studer family. We had a yellow themed shower (gender is a secret) and spent a nice, low-key evening getting excited for a new baby cousin.  Our new cousin was actually just born this morning!!  So we are wishing a very happy birthday to our newest cousin (who's name I can't yet share but whom we already love)!!!! We also enjoyed Groundhogs day this week which brought the kids much joy to be "right" that they guessed (or wished) for an early spring. Although, we got more snow today and Gemma said, "but I thought the hog said winter was over."  And we joined in on National thank-a-mail-delivery-person day in Thursday by leaving some sweet treats for her in the mailbox. Thanks to Ashley of The Big White Farmhouse for alerting us to this special day! 

Enjoying yummy eats and treats this week because momma is pregnant. Ya know.  The kids are on a hot cocoa kick and in honor of all the hot cocoa drinking we have going on, we also made hot cocoa cookies which were a massive hit.  We got our first Blue Apron delivery I'm not kidding I could have eaten the entire 4-person portion of Peanut noodles by.my.darn.self.  So, so good.  We've also had multiple days of ice cream sundaes, hahhaha #secondtrimesterfeedingfrenzy 

Preparing for the 17 month old mark of wildling for our Violet Mary. She's only at 16 months, but she seems to be ahead of the game as she's been particular naughty this week. Both Grey and Gem at 17 months fell into what we call the Wild Thing stage and they don't come out if it until about three and a half. It's a lot of crazy, nonsensical. tantrum throwing, destruction, and silliness. It's like living on the edge of hilarious and horror.  Here we go again, just as Gemma is exiting! 

February Meal Plans

Happy Groundhogs day!  I'm sharing this month's meal plans today.  We were pretty bad at meal planning and dinner last month (and by 'we,' I mostly mean me and this pregnant belly!)  I think it was the combination of finishing out the holidays, plus basketball season, plus pregnancy...and yeah, I just really let the ball drop on that one.

But I'm back in full action this month and excited to include our first try at Blue Apron this month (which is covering four nights this month for our meals).  I added it to my 100 small things list because I like the idea of stretching my cooking comfort zones out into foods I don't normally make because it includes weird-to-me ingredients or methods.  Our first delivery actually arrives today and I'll have a full update on our thoughts later this month after we give it a go!

This month also includes lots of our favorite little winter holidays, the start of Lent (meat-less Fridays!), and our Gemma Rose's fourth birthday!  So all of those things needed to be considered in my meal planning to make sure we can work with the plans set for the weeks.

--I meal plan for our weekly dinners at the beginning of each month.  I don't usually plan breakfast or lunch (unless it's a special holiday), nor do I plan for desserts (again, unless it's something special).  I try to do 'real breakfast' (ie. not cereal/toast) at least twice a week and the girls and I try our hand at making dessert once a week (on 'What's cookin' Wednesdays!)  Lunch can usually be covered by left-overs and the weekends sometimes include home-cooking, left-overs, grandmas' cooking, or a special out-to-eat stop!

2/1-2/5
M:  Orange Crockpot Chicken
T: Blue Apron:  hoisin-glazed roast Pork with peanut noodles
W: Slow cooker Potato Soup
R: Ham & Cheese Sliders
F:  Blue Apron: bbq Chicken wings and sweet potato salad
2/8-2/12
M (Lunar New Year): Baked sweet & sour chicken
T (Mardi Gras):  *Kings Cake (breakfast), kid-friendly Jambalya
W (Ash Wednesday): Meatless spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread
R: Long boy burgers
F: Pierogies and fish sticks
S: Valentines day  bacon wrapped salmon (grown-up), hot dog hearts with cheese arrows (kids), and chocolate chip cookie cake
2/15-2/19
M: bacon and pea mac&cheese
T: Slow cooker Chicken & gravy with mashed potatoes
W: Ranch porkchops
R: Korean beef
F: Gemma's Birthday Party! (pizza, salad, cupcakes!)
2/22-2/26
M: Chicken tacos
T: Blue Apron:  Seared chicken and potato salad with sweet sour cabbage
W: Skillet beans and rice with kielbasa
R: Blue Apron: Roast Pork and smashed potatoes
F: Fish Fry at our church!
2/29
M: Sundowner burgers (cheeseburger with a fried egg, mustard, onions, and chili on it...don't judge us, it's a Johnstown thing, heh).

This month, I also found myself really trying to choose meals that I was almost certain that I wouldn't have to negotiate with the kids at dinner.,,even if meant repeating meals that we've had recently.  Granted, the kids aren't too picky- they do at least try, but with studerbaby4 stealing all of my energy (especially obvious and frustrating around dinner time), dealing with food complaints and arguments is something I just don't have the fight in me for at that hour.  So, if you have any yummy kid-approved meals that you can share, I'd really love to hear 'em for next month!!