the Mom Next Door Series: Erin S

Our Mom Next Door interview today comes from Erin S of Ohio, a mumma to her one year old and a full time working therapist to kids and teenagers.  Erin and I have been friends since meeting our freshman year of college at Susquehanna.  We spent a lot of time together, as we had so much in common; volleyball players, Spanish majors, and even studying abroad in Costa Rica at the same time.

Erin has always inspired me and she continues to do so by her passion for what she does and her dedication to her son.  I am so glad to include her candid voice in our series as she talks about the struggles all Moms experience but don't always admit; like pumping in the work place, worrying about the right time to expand your family, and making time for your spouse.

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Who are you? I'm Erin, a 31-year-old working mama living in Northeast Ohio.

Who is in your family? I live with my husband, Justin, our just-turned-1 year old (literally, yesterday!!) son, Owen, and our two dogs, Renny Grace and Hammer Time (middle names only used when in trouble or when M.C. Hammer is stuck in our heads).

What do you do for work? I work full-time as a therapist (soon to be licensed psychologist). I do individual and group therapy with kids and teenagers struggling with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and family issues.

Which chore is your least favorite? As a full-time working, breastfeeding mama, I'd have to say pumping. Pumping stinks! It's inconvenient, noisy, and uncomfortable. I've also had coworkers knock on the door while I'm pumping AND even try to unlock the door not realizing I was in there!! Embarrassing! It's worth it since it benefits Owen, but I'm looking forward to the weaning process to at least lower the amount of pumping at work!

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? My pre-mom self would be surprised that I wasted SO.MUCH.TIME. before becoming a mom. I surely had time to finish his nursery (which still needs curtains) before he was born. My house could have been cleaner, I could have exercised more, etc. If my pre-mom self operated on the same waking hours as my mom-self and took advantage of spare moments as often, I would've surely solved all the world's problems. Alas, now, I have an Owen to take care of...sorry, world!

How do you unwind or re-charge? It's officially football season again, so Steelers games are a big way for me to unwind. I'll also have the occasional glass of wine or beer, watching my recorded TV shows, and reading. Two things I'm loving lately: 1) Downton Abbey (no spoilers please!) - just started watching on Amazon Prime, and Justin and I are hooked! 2) Tina Fey's book, Bossypants. I couldn't stop laughing! For a good read on the "To expand your family/To not expand your family debate" read this book! As for re-charging, I try to plan trips back to Central PA (where our families are from) and/or to see friends to reconnect. I always feel recharged when I connect with "my people."  In an ideal world, I'd also carve out time for date nights with Justin, exercise (or at least family walks with the dogs), and crafting. 

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? Honestly, no matter how stressful the day has been at work or how worried I am about a medical procedure or shot Owen has to get, I feel that I'm pretty good at being consistently, unconditionally attuned when I'm interacting with Owen. I'm not perfect at it, but I feel like I don't let my stressors affect how I talk to and play with him.

Who are the moms you look up to? My mom is especially inspiring to me because she worked full time and maintained a strong connection with her kids. She taught me that it's possible to be a dedicated and good mother and still have a career. Her work--life balance was especially impressive when my dad moved out when I was 13, and my mother became a single parent to my brother and I (and put us both through college!!) - all without a partner! I can't imagine parenting without Justin. My mom rocks.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? Owen was hospitalized once after an ER visit to rule-out possible seizures, which ended up not being seizures (yay!). The process of finding out they weren't seizures was so nerve-wracking. He had multiple procedures that were very difficult to watch in a very short span of time, and only one parent was allowed in the room each time (I wasn't going anywhere; and, luckily, Justin preferred being out of the room). Watching him cry in pain, discomfort, and fear was the most heart-wrenching experience I have had to date as a mother.

What keeps you up at night? Family planning. My husband and I both appreciated (and still appreciate) having siblings growing up, but figuring out the financial, spatial (we live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom home), and timing issues is difficult. I also feel like that clock is a-tickin' in terms of my age, so balancing all of those considerations weigh on my overly analytical, anxious mind quite a bit. 

I also worry about the time I spend away from Owen due to work. I love my job, but wish I could work a 20-30 hour work week to have more time with him, especially now when he's so little. This worry has affected the number of dates Justin and I have gone on since Owen was born (drumroll please....). We have gone out only 2 times in the last 12 months! I just feel so bad not spending every.minute.I.can. with Owen during the hours we're home with him. He'll only be little so long...

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? Oh, so many things. The feeling of his hand on my cheek. The smile of recognition when I walk into the daycare to pick him up. The times when he really wants his "mama" over anyone else. The nights nursing him to sleep. Watching him learn new things! He's picking up some sign language recently and he uses brushes and combs to "comb" his hair and my hair sometimes. There are just so many little moments to catch and enjoy. I love being his mama.

Violet and the adventure baby shoes

Dear Violet,

Last night as we were winding down for bed, your big brother Grey had found one of your tiny sneakers in the big kids' room and set off to your room to put it away.  About ten minutes later, I went in to collect your siblings and found the both of them in the corner of your room organizing baby shoes.

There are two quick things you should know, honey.  First we have a lot of baby shoes because you are blessed to have an older sister, older girl cousins, and a best friend that has passed down their clothes and shoes to you.  Second, you're the third baby which means you rarely ever wear pants, let alone shoes.  (sorry - I promise this will change when you learn how to use your feet, hah)

So anyway, the kids were matching up these little shoes - which had previously been stockpiled in your sock drawer - and also talking about all the occasions on which their baby sister was going to be wearing each pair of shoes.

Greyson:  These shoes are for going to fun places with Gigi and Pappy.  And these shoes are for, ya know, visiting cowboys...?
Gemma (nodding):  mmhmm.  yep.
Greyson:  These shoes, here, are for crawling in our yard, and these ones are for church.
Gemma:  These shoes are for dance parties!
Greyson:  And these ones are for having a sleepover at Abba and Chums - ya know, when she gets bigger and can fit them.
Gemma:  Yea!  And these ones are for the beach
Greyson:  These ones are for walking in the mud.  And these ones are for, like...ya know, going to beautiful places.
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I sat in our rocking chair, holding you and listening to your brother and sister going on and on about all the amazing places and things you'll do.  There you were snuggled up in your onesie (no pants!) dreaming the sweet dreams of a baby with a belly full of milk - and their little minds were daydreaming about you and your adventure baby shoes. 

In small moments like last night, I am overcome with gratitude.

Thankful to get to be the mumma to wonderful, imaginative, and funny kids.

So very very grateful that you will always have one another

...to learn from each other

...to stand beside each other

...to go on adventures together

....even to visit with cowboys, 

or go to dance parties, 

and hopefully most of all to go to, 

ya know, beautiful places.  

No matter where your adventure shoes take you in your whole life, Violet girl, know that they can always, always bring you back home.  

we love you, Lettie bug.
forever and ever.
even when you get so big.
mumma

The Mom Next Door Series: Jen S

I am honored today to bring you our Mom Next Door interview from Jen S; the mom of a girl and an incredible little boy who overcame an enormous obstacle in his young life.  Jen and her husband Kevin are former residents of our hometown who gave our entire community (and beyond) a lesson in standing together and believing against all odds in never giving up.  One of Jen's photo captions following Owen's successful surgeries stood out to me, sort of encapsulating their whole story, it read:  "Don't believe in miracles?  Maybe he (Owen) will help you."

Please read on to learn more about Jen, Owen, and their entire family who stood together through a very scary challenge, only to come out stronger and with the firm belief that anything is possible with prayers, support, and love behind you.

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Who are you?  My name is Jen Sheridan. I'm 33 years old and live in Pittsburgh, PA. I don't blog, but I do have a Facebook page for my son own - Owen's Miracle Journey

Who is in your family?  I live with my husband Kevin, daughter Aubrey (2 years), son Owen (10 months), and our 7 year old 100lb lap dog Dakota

What do you do for work?  I just started work at Carlow University this October as the Senior Accountant.  For the last 5 years before that, I was employed by Conemaugh Health System in their Internal Audit Department.

What has been your most difficult Mom moment (so far)?  Owen was born with a neural tube defect known as an encephalocele. To say it was large is an understatement. No one thought they could operate so we were sent home on Hospice. With the strength of God, my husband, family and friends we spoke to numerous doctors until we found a group of AWESOME doctors at Boston Children's Hospital who would perform a very risky, but life saving surgery. We owe them the world.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood?  That I can actually function on 5 hours of sleep! I used to sleep in until 11am...9am used to be too early for me to wake up!  Now, it would be fantastic if I could sleep IN until 9a!

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood?  I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be when it comes to our kids. My husband and I fought and fought for our son. All the experts told us that he would not make it to term, much less live outside of the womb. We were told he wouldn't be able to breathe on his own. He surprised everyone and was born screaming. 

Which chore is your least favorite?  Putting close away. I don't mind folding them but somehow they won't get in the closet or the dresser.

What keeps you up at night?  Our daughter! She starts the night in her crib but wakes up in the middle of the night. The only way I learned to function was to bring her in bed with us. She sleeps until morning in our bed and I have to admit, I love it. I know someday she won't want to be in there with us. So I'm trying to enjoy the time as much as possible... even when she keeps me up for hours.

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now?  We just relocated to Pittsburgh from our hometown of Johnstown, PA. My husband and I had to get new jobs, sell our Johnstown home, buy a home in Pittsburgh and move...and we did it all within the last 2 months. It's been hectic but we felt this is what is best for our family.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom?  Patience. Sometimes my patience is very lacking. I hate that about myself and I'm definitely working on it.

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now?  The hugs, kisses, smiles and cuddles. I wouldn't trade that for the world. Now that my daughter is talking (non-stop!) I love when I put her to bed. We must say "I love you" five (or more) times before I finally shut the door.