The Mom Next Door Series: Shellie M

I am happy to introduce you to Mom Shellie; one half of the musical couple; We Are the Monks.  She's still somewhat new to the Mom scene; she has a 5 1/2 month old son, Oliver - which makes her perspective fresh and wonderful.  Shellie's voice is positive, sweet, and full of gratitude.  As a traveling Mom, she has learned quick that sometimes, especially on the road, you just have to roll with it; which I greatly admire and am still trying to learn how to do four years later.

Please grab a cup of coffee and take a minute to let Shellie's cheerful outlook and Oliver's sweet smile bring some sunlight to your morning.

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Who are you?  My name is Shellie Monk and I am 34 years young.  I'm originally from Texas but now live in Nashville, TN with my little fam.  I blog at www.justanothermanicmonkday.blogspot.com

Who is in your family? I live in a cozy (i.e. tiny) one bedroom apartment with my husband Trent and our 5 1/2 month old, Oliver.  No pets yet =)  

What do you do for work? My husband and I travel full time as musicians:  We Are The Monks, hence the move to Nashville and we travel with our little guy.  We hit the road when he was 7 weeks old and he's been to 14 states so far!  We are all together 24/7.  When we're not on the road, we work from home, so we're a little bit of both…paycheck and SAHPs (stay at home parents).

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood?  My pre-mom self would be surprised to know that I've driven with our boy a total of only 3 times by myself and 2 of those times were less than 5 miles.  What can I say?  My husband's the driver.  

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood? I'm not going to say that my pre-mom self was selfish but she would be proud to know just how selfless I've become and how easily it happened.

What has become (at least for now) your parenting mantra or guiding principle? I try to not flood my brain with lots of Google searches and tips and advice on mothering.  I do some, but I've found that trusting my gut and my heart leaves us all happier.

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now? My husband and I recently released our debut record and we are touring in support of it.  The booking process is non-stop and sometimes there's dry spells.  Dry spells are scary and that leads to worry.  But we trust the Lord has us right where we're supposed to be.

How do you unwind or re-charge? I like to dabble in crafts when I have time and painting my nails.  Listening to music, reading, a glass of wine, getting caught up on our favorite shows (binge watching our favorite shows!).  One day we will have a fancy bathtub and then that will happen.  And my husband gives great back rubs! =)

Which chore is your least favorite? Other than toilets and kitchen sinks (Oh, and putting laundry away.  Hate it.), booking our shows is not my favorite.  It's not my husband's either but we have to do it in order to eat!  And working from home is proving to be quite challenging with a little one, but we knew that going in. 

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom?  Even though Oliver isn't eating "real" food right now, I wish I was a better cook.  His daddy is the cook and that's great!  I just wish my children will grow up with a mommy whose a good cook.  Who knows, maybe it can still happen. 

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? I feel like I am really good at being flexible on the road.  Sometimes, we just have to roll with it and I hope we are teaching our son that as well.

Who are the moms you look up to?  My mom and my two older sisters.

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now?  I absolutely love rocking my boy.  I know I probably shouldn't and he should go to sleep by himself and one day we'll have to train him in that, and blah, blah, blah...but right now I adore it.  And his laugh can heal, I swear.

A mish mash today

I wanted to give you a proper post today, but I have one of those draining headaches that only come after you've spent most of the day crying from heartbreak.  That's happened today, as we laid one of our cousins to rest this morning; gone too soon at 22.  Please send a prayer into the world today (or anyday) for mommas who have to bury their babies.

This week I've been reflecting a lot on a very helpful article I read a few weeks ago about responding to tragedy to those that you love.  No one really ever knows what to say or how to act, but this article; How Not to Say the Wrong Thing put out by the LA Times is really helpful for thinking about responses in times of tragedies.  The main idea being to think about where you fall within circles of closeness to the person most affected by the tragedy and recognize that only comfort should be given to anyone in circles closer to the center than yourself.  You can 'dump out', or cry, complain, lament to anyone in circles farther out than yours - but only comfort in.

I saw this video and it was a good reminder that despite what the world sometimes feels like today, our babies and young people have big dreams for a beautiful, bright future.  I think it's important to think about encouraging and supporting those bright dreams rather than always worrying for them.  (by the way; Grey wants to be a police officer and a farmer.  Gemma would like to play.)


Ainda dá Tempo (There is still time) from Ainda da tempo on Vimeo.

I took this buzzfeed quiz last night and it was a great reminder of all the ways in which I am very privileged in my life.  This I already know, but going through the list and actually checking off items that apply to me was a good reminder of just how grateful I am to live this charmed life  (thanks, Weller for sharing!)

I haven't posted about Gem and Grey's birthday parties out of sheer laziness (sorry) but as a quick recap:  Gem had a 'babydoll' party with picnic style snacking including both regular size foods (m&ms, oreos, etc) and babydoll size foods (mini m&m's, mini oreos, etc).   We made foam paper dolls and fed bottles to our babies while MY baby turned two!  How?

Greyson had a 'Messy' Birthday party on a cold, rainy day spent in our garage.  They fingerpainted (read: hand/face/foot painted), spit food out of their mouths, and pie'ed Brandon in the face (i love my husband).  Also, a cake exploded.  And my first born turned four!  How?

A few months ago, I walked outside and saw that Trixie had dug up out of the front flower bed three rosaries that I have never seen before.  Totally bizarre, but I could see that she dug them out from under one of the tall bushes and since I didn't know what else to do with them, I hung them up on one of the branches of that bush.  Well, this is the first year ever that the bush has bloomed?! It has had these beautiful pale pink flowers on it for weeks now, so I'm taking it as a good omen.

We have a very busy week coming up while we prepare for the 5K & Superhero Fun Run/Walk that I'm planning with our high school Alumni Association and also for our Summer Roadtrip vacation.  Plus, we are in the midst of getting bunk beds for the kids, some new developments for The Hunting Daddies, and regular house/bills/blog activity.

..blah, blah, blah - anyway, it's easy to get bogged down by distractions, but I loved this list from HandsFreeMama:  8 Suggestions for a Live More/Love More Summer.  I need to keep coming back to this list, especially in the next few days.

I also wanted to take a minute and say thank you to all of you for your enthusiasm, participation, and sharing/commenting on my The Mom Next Door Series.  I'm almost sorry that it's only every Tuesday that I share these amazing interviews with you all - I wish it was more than once a week!  The first two were fantastic (thanks Mum & Jamie) and there are so many more to come that will inspire, help you reflect, and laugh in the coming weeks.  Thank you for reading and thank you to the mummas that have contributed interviews.  I really truly love this series, and it's because of all of you.


xxoxxo
tab

The Mom Next Door Series: Jamie A

I am so happy and honored to bring you this week's Mom Next Door Interview from one of my favorite Mommas, Jamie A.  You may recognize the name from my recent Thank You Thursday dedicated to her for being my internet guide of happiness and inspiration (which is actually the exact phrase I use to describe her to my family when detailing where I found some gem of information on the web). 

Jamie and I worked from home for the same company for about a year or two (motherhood has erased all existence of time in my mind) and actually only ever met in person once or twice on business trips.  But somehow our love of inspiring blog posts, hashtags, and Joe Manganiello have kept us in each other's lives long past our connection to a common workplace.  Our conversations are limited to facebook messages and email - but somehow in the way only people who have kindred souls do - we consider each other real life friends and mums on the same journey just wearing different shoes (hers very stylish and heeled; mine regrettably neither stylish or heeled and probably chewed in some spots by our pitlab Trixie).

Without further ado, please grab a cup of coffee and get ready to be both humored and inspired to hear more about my dear friend, Jamie A: 

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Who are you? My name is Jamie A and I live on the gorgeous New Hampshire coastline. I am truly a city mouse trying her best to be a little country. The ocean view doesn't hurt my “tolerance” for the bugs and wild things that roam around at night. I sleep with a stiletto in one hand, just.in.case. Speaking of shoes, my all but forgotten blog is Agent Stiletto’s Closet  and I SWEAR I will get back to it someday when I have a moment to breathe and expl…. Wait, are we not at a support group?

Who is in your family? I have one son born to me, Cohen. I also have an amazing son, Cale, born to another mother. Cohen is 3.5 years old going on 21 and Cale is a sweet 16 year old who is wise beyond his years. My beloved, and the man who helps me navigate the roads of Mommyville is Joshua. We currently do not have any pets but the promise is that when Cohen enters kindergarten we will get “one girl dog and one boy cat.” I very much miss having furry friends and I can’t wait for Cohen to know the love of a family pet.

Jamie and Cohen

What do you do for work?  I daydream about owning my own bakery, The Flour Garden, with specialty cupcakes and delicious coffee but until that is a reality, I work outside the home educating people on financial risk and the controls they can put into place to mitigate the…hey, is anyone still there?!

What has become (at least for now) you're parenting mantra or guiding principle? Make life fun and full of love! I want Cohen and Cale to know that childhood is magical and while there will be a time to be serious and buckle down, being a kid is the dream that only lasts for a few precious years and it is important to make life an adventure.

Cale and Cohen

Omigosh, Cale looks like an adult!  Is it hard to see one son so big and the other so small each day - the contrast and emotion of it all!?  Oh Tab, it is really hard. Cale is growing up so fast. Well both of them are but seriously, Cale was a tiny little 11 year old when I met him. Now 16 and a man. There are days when I am stricken with the knowledge that my own baby will be a man before I know it. The scent of toddlerhood is growing fainter and I am not sure my heart can stand it. I have seriously considered putting one of Cohen's shirts in a zip lock and trying to keep "the scent" forever. But then that would be creepy right?

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? I can’t program manage a child. I honestly thought there was a science to parenting and if my business plan was sound, I would rock it. I can hear you laughing from here.

Cohen aka Captain America

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood? I can birth a child and tend to him and help navigate him through his little life to see greatness and prepare him for the not so great parts.

Which chore is your least favorite? Interesting. I love chores – garbage, laundry (I was dubbed The Laundry Master by my brother-in-law and sister), dishes, scrubbing floors, all of it. I clean when I need clarity of the mind. If I had to choose something, I would say meal planning. I would rather go out to eat every night or hire a personal chef than plan our family meals. The kicker? I went to cooking school. I just do not feel like cooking unless I have to. 

What keeps you up at night? I worry “something will happen.” I try hard not to read those horrible news stories about babies being taken from their loving families. I can.not.fathom life without my sons. It paralyses me.

Josh and Cohen

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now? Cohen is having his tonsils out in a few weeks. I made the mistake of Googling “toddler tonsillectomy.” DO NOT DO IT. I am currently nursing my catastrophic thinking self while preparing our family for the adventure of saying goodbye to the tonsils and moving on to nights of good sleep and easier eating.

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? I am pretty darn good at keeping our lives on track. See, my program management skills CAN be used as a Mumma!

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom?   I wish I had more patience. I constantly worry – Am I being too harsh? Should I let him watch just one more tv show? Am I trying to rush him while he pees/eats/plays/etc or am I teaching him good time management?

How do you unwind or re-charge? I like to stand on my porch and watch the water. I also love to dance! If it has been a REALLY bad day, a long glorious bath is my go to.

Who are the moms you look up to? You mean other than you, Tab? Seriously, how do you do everything you do, have gorgeously happy children, start companies, and make it look effortless while maintaining your beautiful self? Even my eyebrows are envious of yours. Just sayin!   (Editors Note: Thank you Jamie!  'I am pleased to see my optical illusion is functioning so well'...she says behind the wizard's curtain?! xxox)

Another Mumma I look up to is my friend, Sara. She is my longtime friend from high school and she has two wonderful children, Ethan and Viviane. Sara works outside the home, maintains a company, and all the while her children are some of the most well-adjusted humans I have ever met. I watch her navigate motherhood with a confidence that I envy. She knows just how much to mother and then how much to let them be and make their own mistakes. It is as is she knows the magic formula of “just enough.” Sara had Ethan before I had Cohen and I watched her mother him and told myself when I had a child I wanted to be like her. Now that I have Cohen and can put some of those actions into play, I still strive to be like Sara.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? Cohen has had 2 surgeries to date and each time he was taken away to the operating room, it is as if someone is tearing away a limb. I felt physical pain as I watched them wheel him away.

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? Each night before bed we share what our most favorite part of the day has been. It is in that gloaming, while he twirls my hair and tells me about the mysteries of his day, I know that my life has been made. Peace comes from within. I birthed my peace.

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by? I miss him being so tiny that I would hold him all day. Thankfully he still likes to snuggle but now it is kinda like a bear holding an elephant. No more nook :(