writing chat

I have a bunch of draft posts to write and lots of pictures and updates that I need to share with you, but I really just don't feel like it.  HAH.  but I'm here, and I'm going to just babble because that's the what you need to do right?  Just make yourself write something, anything.  Even if its total crap.  (feel free to stop reading now if you like, I have no idea where this post is going).

things have been so nice recently (I want to actually say they have been wonderful, unfairly amazing, but then I have a sudden pang of nervousness that I'm just coaxing the other shoe to drop and I hate that feeling).  My birthday just passed on Monday.  One of the big ones:  30.  And it was overly celebrated and I feel so loved and special that I think now I have a weird feeling like maybe I don't deserve to celebrate another birthday every again.  like ever.  My sisters, parents, in-laws, friends, family, and husband have gone above and beyond what is normally appropriate for a person's birthday.  It was so beautiful and perfect.  Seriously, I still can't even talk about it without getting choked up.  More on that later when I'm not feeling so emotionally unstable.

Last week (before my birthday) I was staring at this picture hanging in our living room and smiled when I thought, if this is the only thing I have to show for the first 30 years of my life...I've won.

I am really in stride with my sahmhood.  Absolutely loving it and feeling like I am getting things done!  Each day I want to get a little better at knocking things off my list.  My next big step is really trying to organize the kids' day.  I have been feeling like Grey is getting too much screen time, so we've been heading down to the garage to ride bikes and burn energy.

I am a little jealous of moms who have kids who like to draw and build legos and blocks; kids who like to create.  Alas, I do not have create kids - I have moving kids.  So we've been going for more walks and spending more time at playgrounds and parks and it's been wonderful to see the kids figure things out and learn through moving their body as it seems to be both of their primary learning mode.

So

it's been weighing on my mind that I should want to celebrate that about them - that they are active kids and kinesthetic learners (even if its exhausting) and support them in the best way that they learn as much as possible.  By the way, if you have 20 minutes, you should watch this TED video:



I've also been running, which is hysterical because I've hated running my entire life.  But Ashley over at The Big White Farmhouse got me motivated on instagram and now I'm all excited about it (thank you, Ashley!).

I don't run fast (at all) but I like tracking how many miles I can get in a week.  Somehow the check in the box that I did a run (no matter how short or how slow) makes me feel accomplished to see the miles stack up for a whole week's total.

I got two huge, beautiful bouquets of flowers for my birthday and I've separated them into small bouquets instead to put all over the house.  So instead of two big ones, now I have 9 little ones all through the kitchen and living room.  I love my kitchen windowsill right now with four small flower arrangements.  It feels so romantic and it almost makes it hard to see the dirty dishes in the sink.  hah

With the knowledge that fall is right around the corner, I can feel the excitement in my bone marrow.  I love nearly everything about fall and all of our really fun plans always seem to be in the fall.  We start our indoor Friday-night volleyball league next week, we have 3 upcoming weddings, my sister's wedding shower, our annual kid & grandma NYC trip, hunting season, our annual kid halloween party, football games, the start of Brandon's first basketball season as a coach, our top-secret special project we're working on ("BB"), our 5th wedding anniversary, SU Homecoming, Valley homecoming, and obviously the colors, the crunching leaves, the hoodies...just all of it.  gah.

and finally, there's these two.  who are getting funnier by the hour.

If you stayed around for all that babbling nonsense, thanks for sticking it out.  Sometimes you just need to force yourself to get it done, ya know.  Hope you have a super great day!

Pre-Birthday Surprise Land

Two weekends ago was our scheduled annual SCF weekend ('sisters come first').  Once a year, we set aside an entire weekend that my sisters and I get together and spend time with each other non-stop; talking, laughing, drinking, crying, watching movies, dancing, remembering, and basically being a giant blur of 'Adams girl' mayhem.  So this year, was going to be no different and I was excited to get away for a weekend with my little sisters.

Kayla texted early Friday afternoon and asked if we could stop half way and pick up something for her future  mum-in-law and it didn't even occur to me that it was weird.  Little did I know, Tasha and I pull into the parking lot for the 'pick-up' and there sits Kayla and my sister-wife bff Lindsay.  I was like, huh?

I am the planner.  I am the one with the agendas and schedules and to do lists.  Do you know what happens when you surprise a planner?  She acts totally awkward and strange for a solid 20 minutes while repeating the same phrase over and over only changing emphasis on the words:
But, WHAT is happening?
But, what IS happening?
But, what is HAPPENING?

Seriously.  It was ridiculous and finally all three of them were like, can you please stop acting so weird?  And I was all like, "Okay, but what IS happening?"  Worst surprisee ever.

After our tailgate in the parking lot (shots, pizza, beer) - we made our way into Corks & Canvases for a BYOB painting class.  I mean, possibly the most awesome thing on the planet?  We toasted with champagne and wine and got to pretend to be real life painters.  Our teacher that night was amazing and so patient with us (none of us being painters and all of us cracking inappropriate jokes) and we laughed and giggled our way through the evening.

My Ninna-girl

my sneaky little sisters

We had an awesome time at Corks & Canvases (you can like them on facebook) and I kept saying, "omigosh, my creative soul is awakened!" in a super dramatic albeit honest way.

my finished 'Seasons' painting

After another jaunt at tailgating after our painting class, the four of us headed over to a local bar hosting karaoke that night and did what we always describe as "tornado'ed" them.  It was a full on ambush of the three 'Adams' sisters and Ninna.  In the time we were there, we had managed to sing multiple karaoke songs...on stage, turned part of the bar into a nightclub, started a congo line and a Limbo game with a pool stick with about 3/4 of the bar (Tasha won), and finished off the night with the Macarena.  The most ridiculous thing about it was:  that was NOT the first congo line we've ever started in a bar.  Yea, Tornado'ed.

The next day, after a very slow start, my sisters and I hung by the pool, went for a run and mostly laid around until dinner time.  Then they took me to The Pittsburgh Inclined Plane for a beautiful view of the city - as they explained that I was the one that helped teach them you can move away from our small hometown and live in a big city. (cryfest)  Afterwards, we had a delicious and spicy dinner at a Nicky's Thai Kitchen since I talk about Thailand almost everyday (verified by my sisters).  It was such an amazing and unexpected birthday weekend.

But they weren't done with the surprises because my sisters are unbelievable.  They put together a tribute video for me and my first thirty years.  It's more than I can even say.

They picked the perfect songs and the perfect pictures and videos that so closely sum up the first thirty years of my life.  It's incredible.

If you want to learn about who I am, go no farther than to ask my sisters.



Since my actual 30th birthday is not until tomorrow (August 26), I went back into relax mode after SCF/surprise birthday weekend.  And last Saturday, we were heading out the door to spend the afternoon at Pappy & Gigi's house (Brandon's parents) like a totally normal weekend and Brandon stopped me and said, 'Do you know your tank top has a hole in it?'  I was like, 'Yea.  Is it bothering you?  We're going to your parents house to hang out.'  I had zero thought that it was weird for him to bring up my scrubby shirt.

So we get to Gigi and Pappy's and they open the garage door and there sits a whole mess of people from my family and theirs.  I stood there staring at them with my mouth half open for an awkwardly long time.  I was completely blindsided that there would be anything for me there; like for a solid few seconds I was still thinking it was a surprise for the kids.

We spent the evening and night playing cornhole, laughing, eating, talking, and guzzling jello shots.  I wore my birthday crown, and shot glass necklace, and received an adorable (perfectly 'me') purse from my Mum.  It was a wonderfully laid-back afternoon surprise birthday party - and it turned out my sports bra + hole in the tank + yoga pants outfit was completely appropriate attire for - HA!  Oh, and I drank a bottle and a half of champagne, by myself.  By.My.Self.

my favorite guys:  Brandon, Greyson, and My Dad

The most amazing part was that Gigi asked that in lieu of gifts, everyone bring a donation for our local humane society instead.  So we got to drop off this HUGE donation of dog and cat food, paper towels, dog bones, and newspaper.  Best.idea.ever.

(Thank you Gigi and Pappy for the surprise.  I was absolutely surprised.  I am so lucky to have you two as in-laws, its incredible that you are mine).

And since then, the birthday surprises just don't stop.  I got an obnoxiously beautiful display of flowers in the mail from my best friend Karpy and Matt.

And spent the evening giggling and sipping wine with my best friend Kate and Michael at Amichi's on Friday night.  Kate and my birthdays are separated by one day (her's was yesterday) and so we get together for a birthday dinner every year.

 ...and it's not even my actual 30th birthday yet!!  I still get to hold on to the rest of today receiving picture text messages of my sister and her fiance making huge smiles that say "Happy Birthday Eve!" and hear my little sis answer the phone by saying, "Happy birthday Eve!" while my Mum finishes her texts with "love you almost-birthday girl."

It's already been the longest and best send-off into my thirties and I still have all of tomorrow yet!  I already knew it down to my bone marrow - but these last few weeks have been a constant reminder that I am the luckiest girl in all of the world.

The magic of quiet

On Wednesday afternoon, Gemma took a late nap and Greyson and I went out on the tractor to mow a part of our mountaintop yard.  Shortly after finishing a section, some storm clouds started rolling in and Grey's sleepy eyes started closing - so we stopped and I carried him in the house and he whispered, "I want to lay on the couch for a little bit."

not from this wednesday, but still the same pose

And it has been quiet in our house for the past 2 hours.
both kids are sleeping.
both dogs are sleeping.
blissfully quiet.

I made myself a cup of green tea and sat myself down at my computer to read beautiful blog posts and search beautiful pins and eat a chocolate no-bake.  An actual proper afternoon tea with a teacup saucer and everything.  It was magical.

It got me thinking about the various kinds of quiet that you come to recognize only as a Mum.  There are the quiets like I had this afternoon and the ones I cherish every morning.  It's wonderfully quiet, but somehow through the creaks of the house you can faintly hear the soft breaths of your family sweetly sleeping.  They are all here, in this house, safe and happy, and quiet.  Its the most wonderful sort of quiet that exists.

Then there's the naughty quiet.  The one that Mums, in the middle of an adult conversation, will suddenly stop talking and announce, 'wait - where are the kids?  It's too quiet.'  And then she'll actually get up and leave the room - which in all other instances would be totally uncouth, but everyone knows that its not in this scenario.  Because even non-parents recognize the naughty quiet.  If there are awake kids in the house and they aren't making noise; they're up to no good.  The thing about the naughty quiet is that you only recognize that it exists when its already too late - and you're half afraid to even go check on them because you know you'll have to clean up a mess.

87 copies out of the printer/scanner?  Why, yes please.

There is also the quiet exists when you're kids are not home.  It's sort of an eerie quiet and you catch yourself in momentary panics thinking you forgot one of them was in time-out or you need to check to see if anyone needs a snack.  It's an efficient quiet where you bustle around the house trying to accomplish a million things before the kids come barging back through the front door with their stomping muddy boots and over-excited voices recapping the day's events.  This sort of quiet always feels hurried and lonely to me.  I am glad for the quiet, but always missing the loud in some sort of sad little way.

A few weeks ago, we were playing at our best friend's house with her two children.  So that's four kids under the age of 4 playing loudly, occasionally sharing, and talking nonsense to each other.  We had just busily hustled around the kitchen getting all four of them fed, wiping up spills, and tearing pizza into tiny pieces.  After they finished the three big ones headed out to the back deck (visible from the huge picture windows next to the kitchen table, and Kate and I finally sat down to eat our lunch.  We both let out a sigh and before we started to eat we sneakily looked around and huge smiles grew across our faces.  We just squeezed our eyes shut and raised our glasses:  quiet.

Motherhood has brought lots of new-found respect for things that before becoming a mother I rarely noticed.  But something about the sound of quiet has really been a surprise for me as something I am fully aware of as a Mum.  As a young mum, there is a constant noise running in the background for the whole.day.through.  Cartoon theme songs, toys with buzzing sounds, little feet zipping barefoot through the halls, things falling down, toilets flushing (even when no one has used it), doors slamming, kids whining, kids giggling, kids crying, and insistent demands for questions that have no answers like 'But why is it called hummus?'  It's just a constant stream of noises and sounds that it becomes similar to white noise on a sound machine.  And only now, as a Mum, has the absence of noise become both blissful and unsettling.  And someday those loud kids are mostly grown, I imagine the quiet will then be deafening - and only because I was once a young mum who had so little quiet.

But for now, the magical spell of the quiet is quickly broken when the dogs start barking, or I hear a little whimper from the bedroom.  Or someone sleepily comes down the stairs to me and says, 'Mum, I was sleeping and now I'm happy.'  The quiet quickly slips out of our house not to return until early tomorrow morning, but I won't miss it too much until then because for now, there are booboos to kiss and giggles to share, and why?questions to find answers for, and whines to be patient with, and 'i love yous' to whisper, and a whole lot of noise to be made.

And all that commotion is really the only reason I even remember to cherish the quiet in the first place.