The Mom Next Door Series: Ellie C

Our Mom Next Door Interview today comes from Ellie C. from central PA.  She is a mom of two boys, one pup and she's incredibly inspiring in the way she approaches happy parenting.  As a mom raising mixed race kids, she finds support and an outlet for her own thoughts within the online blogging community.  I personally find her posts about raising her sons as always thought-provoking and insightful.  Ellie's writing style and topics have become one of my favorites in my blog list and I'm always eager to hear her perspective- I'm so glad to include her voice in this series.

Please take a moment today to read from about Ellie and how she is ever learning, growing, and trying new things as a mom to two boys.

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Who are you?  I’m Ellie and I blog at Musing Momma, where I share inspiration for happy parenting as well as resources and reflections on raising mixed race kids. I live in central Pennsylvania with my husband, our two boys (“Zippy” is 7 and “Bee” is 4), and our first baby, an arthritic dog that we rescued when he was a puppy.

My background is in clinical psychology, but I gave up working as a child therapist when my youngest was born so that I could focus more time and energy on my family. Currently, I work part-time as a consultant helping mental health agencies and communities that want to implement effective, research-based treatment programs. Earlier this year I also joined the on-line magazine BonBon Break as the Family Room Editor. My job is to find wonderful writers to contribute to our magazine, connect with bloggers, and do some writing myself. I love it!

I work half-time and mostly from home, which means I am home with my preschooler the rest of the week and able to get my older son off of the bus most days. It is a perfect balance for us! My husband is a university professor, so during the summer we get to spend a lot of time together as a family. We are extremely blessed in this respect!

Which chore is your least favorite?  Brushing teeth! I try to avoid it by disappearing to do “urgent” tasks like put away laundry or getting the mail.

What has become (at least for now) your parenting mantra or guiding principle?  Just “pause.” I chose this as my word for 2014. I was feeling pulled in too many directions and I really wanted to be more deliberate and thoughtful in how I choose to spend my time and how I relate to my family. I keep coming back to this word – “pause.” It has been such a valuable and meaningful reminder for me, in so many ways. Pause and notice the moment. Pause and look my kids in the eye when they are talking to me. Pause and really think about how I want to respond to a situation, rather than reacting impulsively.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood?  That being mom to two biracial boys (African-American/white) would make race a part of my life in a way I never anticipated. I've become much more aware of issues of race, from thinking about how best to raise my boys to have a healthy identity to the lack of diversity in children’s books to the ways that racism
continues to rear its ugly head – these things touch me so personally now. I never would have expected I would be writing publicly about these things or that I would learn so much by connecting on-line with other parents in mixed families.

I also didn't anticipate just how hard motherhood would be at times. I love my boys more than I ever
could have imagined, but day to day parenting can be so exhausting! I especially struggle with not having enough time for myself.

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood?  That I push past my own comfort zone to let my boys pursue what interests them and nurture their own curiosity. My boys have introduced me to so many new things, partly through their own curiosity but also because I’ll do what I can to nurture that curiosity. We've gone fossil hunting, rotted down deer skulls in our backyard (yep, that’s gross!), and figured out geo-caching. Right now there is a stinky dead snake in my garage – I’m not sure what the boys plan to do with that!

My oldest is passionate about nature and although I never considered myself an outdoorsy girl, I’m doing a pretty good job raising outdoorsy kids.  I’m really proud of that, especially in today’s age of screen and technology overload.

How do you unwind or re-charge?  Time with friends, definitely! When my youngest was born, I met three other moms who ended up becoming some of my best friends. We get together periodically for dinner and drinks, which usually turns into hours of talking and laughing. It is definitely good for my soul! I also find that Saturday morning yoga class – that hour of peace and movement – really helps me rejuvenate at the end of the week.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)?  Can I pick a time period? The fours were (are!) tough. My oldest was a really easy toddler and then the fours came along and I was thrown. At four, kids are much more capable of having their own ideas about things, but they still don’t have great control over their emotions or their impulses. For me, that made for a tough combination. In hindsight, I probably had unfair expectations of my son, too. Preschoolers’ ability to converse and their desire to be more independent can trick us into forgetting they are still so young!

Now my youngest is four and we are going through the same thing. Fortunately, this time around I have the benefit of knowing that this is a phase. I remind myself that the things that concern me will pass and instead try to focus on the things that make him an amazing kid!

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom?  I make sure my boys know how much I love them. I tell them that, if I could choose any children in the whole world to be mine, I would pick them, and I never let a day go by without hugs (usually lots of hugs). I think I also do a good job of being playful with my kids. I love making up silly songs or cranking up the radio and dancing in the car when we’re out running errands. I hope that when they are all grown up, that is the way they will remember me as a mom.

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now?  Holding hands with my little one. The way he reaches for my hand while we walk and the way his hand fits into mine just right melts my heart. My 7-year-old is much less likely to hold hands with me these days. Knowing these hand-holding days will eventually come to an end (and sooner than I’d like!) makes me cherish them that much more!

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by?  Breastfeeding, especially at bedtime. There was something so special about snuggling close in a dimly lit nursery, and the way my babies would gaze up at me, so content. It meant there was always a little time each day to just be quiet and soak each other in.

It also seems like parenthood is about constantly letting of who our kids were and falling in love with who they are now. I wouldn't trade my boys – just as they are right this moment – for anything, but when I watch old home videos I find my heart aching a bit for those sweet toddlers that they once were.

The Mom Next Door Series: Allison H

It is my pleasure today to introduce you to our Mom Next Door, Allison.  I met Al in college and we discovered that we have a common passion for kids and education.  Allison is a teacher for nine months of the year and a stay-at-home-mom for the three summer months; a balance that allows her to feed her passion for education and gives her a few months of full-time sahmhood.

After overcoming learning disabilities herself, Allison now has found herself navigating the world of Early Intervention for her son who has exhibited delayed speech and high activity levels.  She relies on her husband, her own experiences, and her mom to help her find the strength and confidence to give her son opportunities and the create the structure that helps the both of them thrive in day to day life.  Please read on to learn more about my friend and an inspiring momma; Allison.

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Who are you? Hi! My name is Allison and I am living in Acton, MA, about 40 min west of Boston. It's an adorable, up and coming suburb, with a GREAT school system (one of the main reasons we moved here). My husband and I lived closer to the city before we bought our house but realized we were definitely more of the quiet suburb type than the bustling city type.

Who is in your family? I am the mom to an adorable and very active 2 year old named Liam and am the wife of my amazing hubby, Keith, who is there when I need him (especially when I'm having an anxious mom moment). We also have a very fluffy 5 year old golden retriever who is basically our second "child"...or should I say "first child"....who's name is Berklee but is referred to as "Ber-Ber" by Liam.

What do you do for work? I am a full-time working mom from September to June; I am a special education teacher where I work with elementary school children who have severe learning disabilities. I recently switched jobs last year due to the fact that my commute was 40 min long going with traffic and I wanted to spend more time with my family instead of spending it in "grid lock" traffic. It was the right decision and it came at the right time...I am now incredibly happy where I work. In the summer, I am a stay-at-home-mom and I have LOVED spending the summer with my little guy so I is hard to go back to work in September when the school year begins.

What has become (at least for now) you're parenting mantra or guiding principle? Don't compare your child to other children! I have really had to keep repeating this to myself. Liam has delayed speech and is a very busy and active child. He has been doing Early Intervention for the past 4 months and it's going really well. I've seen so much progress BUT when we are with other kids his age, and he isn't talking as much as other kids or he is running from one activity to another every 15 seconds; it's hard to not say to myself "Why can't he talk or why can't he play like the other kids." So I have almost had to put "blinders" on and say to myself "every kid is different and every kid develops differently." Which is so true...Liam is who he is and I now embrace how active he is and the fact that he doesn't like t.v. and would rather be running around outside.  And every day he is getting more words and I'm so proud to be his mama.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? Finding out Liam had some delays. Like I said before, I had speech delays which led to severe learning disabilities and ADHD and I worry so much that since Liam has delays now then he will have learning disabilities later on in life. But we are getting him the help he needs now and he's made unbelievable progress in the past few months.  Another piece of wisdom from my mother has been her confirming that having the challenges I did early on in life, helped me figure out how to work hard to accomplish anything and I know Liam will experience the same thing because he wants to learn and he is interested in working hard.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? How fast it goes...when Liam was an infant, people would say to me, cherish every moment because it goes by so fast. I really didn't understand it until I was living it...when Liam turned 2 in June, it was so crazy to me how fast those 2 years went by. How he went from a tiny little baby who was sleeping and eating all the time, to this incredible little boy who has such an engaging personality. As a mom, I have really had to learn to live in the moment (which has always been hard for me to do) because those people were right! Enjoy every moment because before you know it they will be graduating from college (yikes, I don't even want to think about that!) 

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood? How incredibly patient I've become. I've never been one to have a lot of patience, but toddlerhood has really tested my patience. As I said before, Liam is a very active kid and he is an "envelope pusher," and because he tests the limits, I am having to tell him "no" more often than not. But getting upset won't make the situation better so what's the point? I just use a very calm voice and sometimes the end result is the time-out chair and sometimes it's not. 

How do you unwind or re-charge? Mom's Nights Out, Date Nights, and working out. As a mom, it's so important to make time for myself and for my marriage. Keith is so good at understanding that I need time to be with my friends and how important it is for me to work out. Even on my summer vacation, I get up at 6:15 to workout before Keith goes to work. I know, many people think I'm crazy but working out helps me feel good and helps me be a better mom. Keith and I also try to do a date night once a month, whether it is just the two of us or with other couples. It's nice to go out and have a conversation without having to race through a meal or worry about food being thrown. In February, Keith and I are taking our first long solo trip since becoming parents...maybe to Jamaica...I'm so excited! 

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? Structure! I am a very structure-oriented person and Liam is the same way. He thrives on structure. I find that when there isn't structure in his day, that's when he starts misbehaving. During the summer, we try to have things to do every day he's with me (he goes to daycare twice a week during the summer). And he just switched daycares to a toddler program where there are kids his same age and he is just thriving in this environment! One of the reasons I think he is doing so well is because of how structured his day is. Some kids need structure and luckily I'm someone who does too so it's very easy for me to implement it into our daily lives. 

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom? Playing with Liam...it's really hard for me to constantly be playing with Liam. I've gotten better at it since he has gotten older and can sit down and play with a toy or read lots of books. But I'm someone who always likes to be doing something, so being in the house playing all morning is hard for me. 

Who are the moms you look up to? My mom! As a kid, I had delayed speech as well and was exactly like Liam; very active and busy. My mom likes to tell the story of when she found me on the dining room table with a candle stick in my hand, about ready to smash her china bowl. And now I have a child who is exactly like me (although he's never smashed anything valuable (!) I have found him on the dining room table before!) There have been many times where I have expressed to my mom how difficult it can be to have such an active child and she's always the one who helps me put things in perspective. It's so nice having someone, especially my own mother, who went through the same things I'm going through as a mom. I love her for always being there to help me. 

What is the one "Mom Tip or Trick" that you can share that has made your life easier somehow? My mom also taught me how important consistency is in nap time and bedtime. I usually never have a problem with Liam going down for nap time or to bed because it's the same way every day. It's not realistic to think that we will always be home at the same time every day so if he went down late for either his nap time or he ended up napping in the car, I will make sure he is going down for his regular scheduled nap the next day. Again, structure, structure, structure! 

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? How much Liam is learning. I LOVE watching Liam make connections in his life like seeing a truck outside and then showing me the truck in one of his favorite books. It amazes me how much kids learn at such an early age, and what they learn is from just living in the environment they live in. I'm so glad that this "learning phase" doesn't end for years so I can truly enjoy it. 

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by? The baby snuggles! Until Liam was about 8-9 months old, he would wake up around 5:30 but then come in bed with us and snuggle with us and fall back asleep. I loved just watching him sleep and having him snuggle up against me. I rarely get those snuggles these days. When Liam gets hurt he comes running to me for some snuggles and although I hate when he gets hurt I have to admit, I LOVE those snuggles and the fact that I am his comfort :).

The Mom Next Door Series: Ashlee S

What feels like many moons ago, Brandon and I went to the same small high school as our Mom Next Door, Ashlee and her fiance Josh.  So we've known each other for a long time, but never more closely than the February of 2012 when Ashlee and I both had daughters.  Ashlee's daughter, Taylor was born just two weeks before our Gemma and for reasons only the universe could possibly understand, our Gemma was born healthy and mostly worry-free...while Ashlee's 'Miss Tay' was born with hydrocephalus; a condition that allows excessive cerebrospinal fluid to build up causing harmful widening of the ventricles and pressure to the brain.

As a Mom, I know that Ashlee has surely endured more sleepless nights, more worry and stress than I have over the last two and a half years as we have each watched our daughters grow and learn.  And despite the difference in our daughters' physical health, we have also simultaneously celebrated our girls' milestones, quirky and funny personalities, and terrible two's.  We are mothering our two year old girls parallel each other but also travelling on two very different paths.

September is Hydrocephalus Awareness month, so I am so honored and happy to be able to introduce you this week to Ashlee and her family, including the brave and indomitable Miss Tay.  

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Who are you?  My name is Ashlee, and I'm 32 years old and I live in Johnstown PA.  I am currently engaged to Josh and we, collectively, have 4 amazing kiddos. Brennan is 13, Chance is 10, Elliana is 7 and Miss Tay is 2. We also have a cat named Flynn, a dog we call Hank (or anything that rhymes with Hank lol) and a Box Turtle who goes by Bowser.

What do you do for work? I have been a stay home mama for the large majority of the last 13 years. Very recently though, I decided to try to have the best of both worlds and I became an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay. I get to be home whenever I want, or whenever I'm needed....and I get to get out and "hang with the girls" and make some extra money when it fits my schedule.

I also maintain a public facebook page where I keep people updated about our daughter, Taylor, who was born with severe hydrocephalus. www.facebook.com/prayfortayurban. and bring awareness to other families who are fighting and living the same battle.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? Definitely being told that our unborn baby 'wouldn't live and if she did she would be unable to do anything, even breathe on her own.'  Despite the news, we knew we would still continue with the pregnancy, and so then came the preparation for our other children of the possibility of them having a very sick sibling.

Taylor was, after our initial diagnosis of "no brain, no hope", diagnosed with hydrocephalus. Hydrocephalus is also known as 'water on the brain', and is a lifelong condition where cerebrospinal fluid has no way to exit the ventricles of the brain. They swell and cause the brain to be pushed against the skull, which can cause numerous complications. 

The most common way to treat Hydrocephalus is the placement of a shunt; a siphon-like device that drains the fluid from the ventricles of the brain in the peritoneal cavity where it is reabsorbed by the body. Taylor had her first shunt placed when she was 1 day old and had a revision at 2 months old. Since then we have been very lucky, as shunts have the highest failure rate of every other medically implanted device. We joyfully celebrated our 2 year "shuntiversary" in April!! 

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? Everything. Really, I thought that the vast amounts of babysitting I had done had me ready to be a mom - boy was I wrong! Even just in terms of the emotional side of it!  It's not a thing you can comprehend until you become a mom. Also, I should note...pre-mom me would never ever wipe someones snotty nose on a shirt cuff (in a pinch) and just roll it down like nothing ever happened! 

Which chore is your least favorite? Laundry, by far. With 6 people in a house...including a toddler and a teenager it just never ever ever ends. Ever.

What keeps you up at night? Fear of seizures and fear of shunt malfunction. The fact that either can happen with literally no warning whatsoever keeps me awake long after I should be asleep just listening to Taylor breathe and praying we have one more day without either surprise. 

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now? Summer in general keeps us busy; football and cheerleading is starting up and that's always a crazy time of year. Also, we are trying to find the time and money to renovate our attic so we can move the boys up there for their bedrooms and finally get Taylor out of our bedroom and into her own. We've been working on this awhile now and are finally making bits of headway.

a recent overnight EEG

How do you unwind or re-charge?  Unwind? Recharge? What are these things you speak of? :-) Really though, mostly I read. I try crafts, but find I don't have the time or money to dedicate to the really cool things I "pin." An occasional night out with Josh, or with the girls does wonders too...when its possible.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom? I wish I was more fun....sometimes I really need to stop and remember that cleaning can wait!

What has become (at least for now) your parenting mantra or guiding principle?  Enjoy this day; this moment,  because you can't ever have it back. Only God knows what tomorrow will bring.

 Please take time in honor of Hydrocephalus Awareness Month to learn more about Hydrocephalus and how you can help by visiting www.hydroangelsoveramerica.org and at www.fetalhydrocephalus.com

The Mom Next Door Series: Ashley B

I am so happy to share this week's Mom Next Door Interview with Ashley.  She is a Mom I get daily boosts of inspiration about being intentional in every little bit of life both from her blog and insta acount. She is also an unbelievably great list and goal maker - but more than that, she is inspiring in the way that she actually stays connected to her goals and pushes herself to do regular check-ins on where she stands with them.

Honestly, I am so grateful the internet brought us together and I'm always secretly wishing we could meet up for coffee and the wildest kid play-date ever.  (Ashley, can we find a halfway point between PA and VA and make this happen someday?)

Besides being a Mom to four (almost five!  She's due this month!), she also successfully runs a small home decor business, home schools, writes a blog, and finds time to do beautiful projects like stitching and creating projects to support other Moms like her Penpal Project.  Please take a few minutes to read on to learn more about the brilliant Mom Next Door, Ashley.


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Who are you?  My name is Ashley and I am a wife and mamma to four little ones (three boys and a girl, ages 7 to 21 months) with baby number five due to make his appearance in late September.  (editor's note:  Ashley's and my due dates are only one day apart!  I think an arranged marriage is in the works, yes?) 

We live in northern Virginia, where I am a stay-at-home-mom as well as the owner of an online decor store called Big White Farmhouse. The name comes from my great-grandmother's home in the countryside of Maine. In her honor, my cousin (who co-founded BWF with me) and I try to support small, hometown artisans and sell products created right here in the USA.  I also sporadically blog at thebigwhitefarmhouse.blogspot.com!

What has become your parenting mantra or guiding principle?  One of my favorite inspirational people is Mother Teresa and I've adopted her famous quote, "Do small things with great love" as the guiding principle for my entire life. Her quote is especially helpful to me as a mother, as the vocation of motherhood can sometimes feel monotonous and unimportant. If I can honestly say at the end of the day that I served my family with great love, then that day was a success! 

Another quote I love from Mother Teresa is: "Little things are indeed little, but to be faithful in little things is a great thing." How inspiring for mammas! 

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom?  About a year and a half ago, I was in a hard place, watching people accomplish amazing things while I let fear and excuses keep me on the sidelines. Finally, I decided enough was enough and resolved for 2013 to be the year that I start living intentionally, focusing on making my life full of what I wanted it to be. I wanted to be a better example to my children and to show them commitment and perseverance, both in personal endeavors and with our family as a whole. It has been the best thing I could have ever done as a mom.

Most of the things I've accomplished in the time since are simple and sometimes even silly: consistent meal planning, taking the time to do craft projects with my art-loving boy, becoming a runner, cooking as a family, and traveling to new cities are just a handful of examples. But without being intentional, these would have quickly fallen to the wayside. My prayer is that my children will see my desire to make the most of my "one wild and precious life" and strive to do the same.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at as a mom?  One area that I am continually trying to figure out is how to spend more one-on-one time with each of my children on a daily basis. I love to hear what's on their little minds and give them my full attention, but I am often so distracted! The other kids, the chores, the business, even just good old exhaustion...they all fight for my time and sometimes win. I'm going to keep trying, though, because it's an area in which I am determined to be better.

What do you miss from Mom days already gone by?  My oldest is turning eight this fall and I just can't believe how fast the time has gone! In our excitement over our first born, I think we sometimes rushed his stages; so anxious for what came next. He is now going into second grade, reading chapter books and playing competitive soccer...and his Mamma wants it to all slow down! With a little parenting wisdom under my belt, I am now much more content to enjoy each step along the way.

What are the small joys of being a mom that you treasure most right now?  Where do I even begin? I love watching my babies after they've gone to sleep or hearing them belly laugh together at jokes only they understand. I love tight hugs around the neck and finding crayon-written love notes on my desk. Honestly, there are so many little joys that happen everyday if I choose to look for them!

The Mom Next Door Series: Allison K H

Our Mom Next Door Interview comes from one of my best friends, Allison - or better known around my house and in my heart as 'Karpy.'  She had her first baby just this year, in February, and watching my best friend make the transition into Mom has been an inspiring and beautiful thing to watch.  Karpy wrote her interview for me earlier this summer when her son, Andrew, was just barely three months old; still in those first few weeks of newborn mayhem and Karpy was just coming off the high of maternity leave.  Even though I knew her interview wouldn't run until now (Andrew has already celebrated his first Half Birthday!), I asked her if it would be okay to keep her interview as is - to show those first few weeks of becoming a Mom in it's full honest glory.

With each new age and stage of raising kids, I've seen myself (and most other Moms) shed a little of the memory of what the past stage really felt like living it.  Sure, we remember the sleepless nights and the overflowing joy of having a newborn - but all the daily frustrations fall away to make room for the new daily frustrations that come with raising a toddler, or preschooler, or I'm sure teenager. As I am currently awaiting the arrival of our newborn, Karpy's words and reflections about those first weeks are so special to me.  They bring a little bit of my own memory back of how fully consuming those first newborn weeks are - all the hard parts and the reminder of how wonderful the itty bitty blessings of something as tiny as a burp can be.

Please take a moment this morning to read more about my best friend Karpy as you may get transported back in time when someone probably no bigger than 10 pound ruled every moment of your days.

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Who are you? My name is Allison Hubbard, also known as 'Karpy' by my close friends. I am 31 years old, living in Apex, North Carolina (outside of Raleigh).

Who is in your family?  I live with my husband, Matt; our new and first baby Andrew (born February 2014), and our crazy 3-year old Jack Russell terrier mix, Regi.

photo credit: Bianca at A Moment Like This.

What do you do for work? I work full-time in Human Resources for NC State University.

What has become (at least for now) your parenting mantra or guiding principle? Keep my to-do lists short. If I can cross one or two things off my list in a weekend, I’m happy about that now.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? Before I had Andrew, I thought all babies were the same. They all cried, smelled, & looked the same. But as a new mom, I’m amazed how Andrew really is different; he’s mine! I could look at 100 3-month old babies and know which one is Andrew. His cry is so much sweeter than any other baby’s cry. And I actually enjoy the way his poop & spit up smell!

Which chore is your least favorite? Awful to admit, but right now with a new baby that has so many needs- it's taking care of the dog!! Our poor dog! I loved his company so much before the baby was born. Now that I have Andrew, I’m so easily annoyed when Regi has to go to the bathroom, or needs more water, or wants to go on a walk. I promised my husband I’ll love the dog again…. Someday.

What keeps you up at night? Andrew. LOL! But really, being a working Mom. As I write this, I have only been back to work for 5 days, after spending 12 weeks non-stop with Andrew. In the weeks leading up to going back to work, I was having nightmares about whether or not I would be able to pump enough milk, or when I was pumping it started to come out in different colors.

Now that I am at work, I worry that Andrew won’t remember who I am. I get disappointed when I pick him up at day care and he doesn’t hold out his arms and cheer “Mommy!!” when I walk in the door...But, I keep reminding myself that he’s only 3 months old (and if he was talking at 3 months, then I’d have a genius baby;). And I know that being at work is the best thing for all 3 of us (me, my husband, and Andrew). I have a job that is low stress and keeps me busy, happy, and engaged. And day care will be the same way for Andrew… keeping him busy, happy, and engaged.

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? Patience, specifically when we first brought him home 3 months ago. Andrew’s only communication is crying (and recently now smiling!). Pre-Mom, I love my sleep and I love my routine. However, at 1am, then 3am, then 5am… I’m impressed that I was not annoyed Andrew was waking me up or crying about something I don’t know. I actually loved the satisfaction of holding him screaming, and somehow calming him down to a peaceful baby.

In the labor classes, they advised us if we ever get frustrated, just put the baby in a safe place, stand outside and take in silent deep breaths. In those first sleepless nights at home, I was grateful for my patience, that I never got frustrated. I loved him so much I never wanted to leave him, I just wanted to hold him and figure out a way to help him stop crying.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom? Creativity. But I surround myself with amazing friends like Tab (Studer), and also my husband. For example, Matt is really good at making up songs. When we give Andrew a bath, Matt will make up a song like… “scrub a dub dub, Andrew in the tub. Bubbles on your feet, bubbles on the street, steam in your hair, clean everywhere! Scrub your hand, make you a clean little man…” My song is “bath bath bath, bath bath bath…” to the tune of “Jingle Bells”!

Who are the moms you look up to? At this point 3 months into mommyhood, every single mother who “survived” the first month of the first baby!

But really, I admire my own mother who taught me things I am subliminally remembering.  My husband’s mother who taught him to be an amazing father.  My best girlfriends who made themselves available any time of day or night when I needed to talk, and my working-mom girlfriends who give me tricks and encouragement to go back to work and call day care as often as I need to!

Baby Allison and her own Mom

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? I’m still having a difficult time… trying to get my life into a routine, finding a way to keep up some of my pre-parenthood life, all while figuring out a way to include Andrew in all the fun.

There are many times in these first 3 months that I have felt trapped in my own home. My life revolves around Andrew’s 3 hour schedule: eat, play, sleep, eat, play, sleep. I expected the dirty diapers and sleepless nights, but this has been the most difficult adjustment that I wasn't prepared for.

My husband and I dated for about 8 years before we got married, and were married for 2 years before having our first baby. So, we are both struggling with having the social life we used to have in our 20s, but now including Andrew. (We are missed the destination wedding for close friends of ours in July, because I truly want to be home with Andrew, I don’t want to leave him. But in previous years, we wouldn't think twice about being at every single wedding.)

I have to say, though, I LOVE our little family. And I LOVE the changes that Andrew brings to our lives. Going back to work has helped with the adjustment into a new routine, and I know it will get easier as Andrew gets older.

How do you unwind or re-charge? I need to figure this out again (*see previous question!)

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by? I miss being pregnant (although when I was pregnant, I just wanted to meet the little guy!). I loved the unknown of what he was going to look like, when would he make his appearance; I loved feeling him move around in my belly. I loved the attention from friends and strangers. I also loved my long, strong hair & nails (now that my hair is falling out in clumps and my nails are breaking!)

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? Andrew changes every day! He has a new smile, or a new baby noise, even a new cry! He makes me THE HAPPIEST I have ever been! Even when he wakes up at 2 am, and I zombie-walk to his nursery…when I bend over to pick him up out of his crib and he smiles so so big, it melts my heart.

I also love nursing him. It’s intimate, one-on-one time that I love having with him. When I’m aching with so much milk, and he’s hungry to nurse, it makes both of us feel better and I love that mutual satisfaction we both have from each other.