I wake up to a quiet house with sunlight peeking through the curtains in our bedroom. A quick kiss to my bearded, sleepy husband's cheek as he rolls over to say good morning with his eyes still closed knowing full well that he isn't due to get up for at least another hour. I pad down the steps to see all four kids strewn about the living room tangled up in blankets and pillows after another consistent night of 'kid campout' while watching Netflix until who knows what time last night. The solace that fills my heart as I start the coffeepot knowing that every person in our family is right here in this house, under this roof, sleeping soundly is all my mother's heart can dream of.
I am still teaching, so I sip hot coffee while getting my google classroom announcements and assignments set up for the day; so grateful to still have any kind of contact with my students during this strange and scary time. I think of them at home bored, confused, worried and I wish I could see their faces and bring normal routine to their days - but at least for this tiny bit of connection despite distance. I start breakfast as my own kids stretch and yawn and lazily walk around in wrinkled jammies and bedhead. We get to start slow and kiss Daddy goodbye for his three hour modified work day.
we pull the homework cart into the kitchen and do some worksheets and the big kids help the little kids with cutting and everyone wants to show their work and Grey likes best to make worksheets for me that he can correct which is like homework backwards but still practicing he if he doesn't realize it. Gem likes to finish her school work with a read aloud to the babies while they sit on the floor and she can pause to ask comprehension questions and try out different voices for her characters.
We play outside a lot, breathing in fresh air and getting muddy shoes that track marks all through the house. Violet has adopted three pet worms that live in a tupperware container in our dining room that we feed vegetable scraps to as a makeshift mini compost bin. Rusty finds sticks that look like swords or shovels, Gemma brings the Alexa outside to dance and ride her hoverboard, and Grey moves his trailcam or takes his BB gun to the woods, or begs the other kids to play tackling games on the trampoline. We build fires in the firepit and carry around water bottles and share shoes, coats, hats, and snacks. It is a slow paced kind of life that stretches on and on. We break it up with lunch all together and then all pitch in to clean up the house a little bit before Dad gets home.
The kids are getting so much quality time with their Dad. He's always been a more kind of Dad; more silly, more fun, more relaxed, more hugs, more patience. But in normal life, he logs a lot of time with our biggest boy because of sports, outdoor hobbies, and ease of mobility. But now everyone is getting so much Daddy and if he wasn't already the favorite parent (he was), he is legendary at this point. Strong enough to lift a car said Rusty, Can fix anything broken said Violet, Can take a joke said Gemma and Greyson.
I answer emails and student questions, work through normal household chores, and even though I can't say that I'm ahead of laundry - it does feel like I'm on pace with laundry which is a practical miracle in itself. When I can feel the worries creeping in about those we love, and how and when this baby brother will be born, and what the rest of the school year will look like, and when anything might return to what normal used to look like - I find myself itching to bake and make something that will fill my family's bellies with sweetness and delight. It's more mess, but it makes me feel connected to my grandma who raised five kids. Planning out our meals, being creative with leftovers and what we have in the pantry, and making real food gives me a sense of control; no matter how false or small, it gives me something to hold on to while everything else spins around our home on this mountaintop.
We've been getting a rare, honest look into our kids. Life moves so fast and there is always so much to do that most days I collapse into bed going over which kid I held or looked into their eyes or asked a real question to about their days. And now, I feel like everyday holds little pockets of seeing our kids, really seeing and hearing and touching them. They are relieved and walk with a lightness, not just because it feels like one long string of playing hooky - but because there's no nothing to do for them and almost for their parents either. We are here and present and not distracted. We have no practices or games to rush to, no homework or studying that needs done by tomorrow that we forgot until the last minute, no rush through the weekend to try to make up chores that never got done during the week because we were too tired after work and activities.
I find kids napping in odd places and at odd times, I pick up socks from everywhere, there are knocks on the bathroom door while I'm in the shower, we put puzzles together and color and play board games. we remind about talking with our mouth full of food, and leaving dirty dishes all over the house, and putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Kids of all sizes squeeze in next to us on chairs and couches, the walk by with a rub of my belly and their baby brother. I ask Alexa to turn down the volume about 30 times a day.
Dinner is with everyone at the table, lots of times with kid hands helping to prepare. It is loud and it is messy. The kids almost always finish first which means Brandon and I get graced with a dinnertime show that has Alexa blasting music (I Feel Good by James Brown, and Roll On Big Mamma by Joe Stampley are the current favorites) and all four kids doing crazy dance moves or chasing each other around the circle of the house.
The kids bring down their sleeping supplies and stake out their spots in the living room. As they settle in for movies and sleep. Sometimes Brandon and I watch with them for a little. Most times Rusty finds his way up to our room to ask for 'someping to eat wike toast?' Each night, my pregnancy insomnia finds me downstairs in search of Tums and a drink of water and tucking little toes under blankets, turning off the tv that is still on despite everyone asleep, and pushing hair out of their faces that still resemble baby cheeks from years gone by too fast.
And then I'm back in bed, snuggled in close to this boy I've loved for so long with the knowledge that tomorrow will be clear of places to go and commitments to keep. It will just be these little people that need us to kiss booboos and refill cups and remind them to brush their teeth. Another day that stretches before us as far as the horizon.
It's life in a bubble here in our house filled with mess and sounds and giggles and tears and snuggles. It feels like a snapshot in time and I don't know how long we will get to live in this suspended life, but what a gift it is to my mother's heart to have all my children under this one roof within my reach and earshot. I get to spend my days listening to their whispers and giggles and answering questions that surprise me. It's all the things I love most about being a mom in a slow as molasses kind of a way.
by no means can I pretend this it is not an overwhelming and frightening time.
I understand how dire it has to be for this kind of upheaval to standard operating procedure of life. How unsure everything feels right now.
And yet, little blessings abound
and I am so grateful to get this opportunity to live it right now with this man, and these kids as we navigate it together.
I can already feel that someday we will look back on this time and remember how we all were trapped together on this mountaintop while the world fell to pieces
but it didn't feel like a trap
and the world found a way to take all the pieces
and make an even more beautiful mosaic of itself
---
this post title was inspired by one of my favorite momma books: The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison which I would always recommend.
gratitude in the time of pandemic
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
There are plenty of things that are unclear in the world right now. I am currently at home after all PA schools were closed on Friday with our four kids and this 36 week pregnant belly. We are working on a very loose schedule for the morning and afternoon hours while I stay in contact with my students who are working virtually during this break. Our normally busy schedule has been wiped clear and if we are being as practical as possible - it's been an adjustment to this 'new normal' over the past few days if nothing else.
My biggest concern of all is about the birth of this new baby brother. As the reports are coming in, it sounds as though the hospitals will be hit hardest right at the time this baby is supposed to be born which has me whiplashing through feelings that I hope he's born as soon as possible to get ahead of that surge and oppositely hoping he stays in there and isn't born until the end of April (past my due date) so he's as healthy and fat as possible to enter this world.
--
But we are doing our best to do our part. We are staying at home and hunkering down. Brandon has been our gopher since he is still working (on a modified schedule). We stocked up on regular groceries for about a month and we've turned down family and friends for visits and sleepovers (it is heartbreaking to do but necessary to keep those we love safe). We have been strictly following the suggestion for social distancing, "You have to behave like you have the virus."
At the end of the day, what will help all us through this, is to remember to seek out all the things you can be grateful for right now in this confusing moment. Here are some of the things that are bringing my peace and thankfulness.
extra hugs and snuggles from little hands
kids sleeping in
leggings and big tshirts over this 36 week pregnant belly
dirty, tired kids smiles after a day outside in the yard
a forced cleared schedule on our family calendar
hearing the kids tell family, "we are doing homeschool, momma is our teacher"
modified half work days for my husband
students who email, message, and check in and close their message with "hope you are healthy"
no screens until after 3p
navigating this life in limbo with my favorite person as an anchor (i love you, B)
nightly kid campouts in various rooms of the house
time to catch up on home projects that we've been meaning to get to for forever
kicks and wiggles of this new baby brother
my midwife and cousin Meg who has been so patient and gracious answering my questions
Rusty's funny personality that is shining bright these days
Violet's dimples with that mischievous smile
Gemma's momma bear-helpful tendencies coming out strong
Grey's inventiveness to create games and missions to combat boredom
text messages from friends and family
daily phone calls and video chats with family and friends for our long distance socializing time
sibling teamwork and inside jokes
Rusty singing "Red, White, and Blue" after the kids do the pledge before homeschool (their idea, hah!)
free resources from TeacherPayTeachers for the kids' homeschool hour
Gem and Violet delivering our chicken eggs to neighbors with a 'knock, run, & wave from the yard'
healthcare workers
essential business workers
longer days of sunlight
slower paced days
sending love, patience, and good health wishes to all of you out there.
find the good.
be the good.
xxox
///
3 Replies
Around Here Week 11: 03/08-14
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
A glimpse into what it is like to live in our home just this moment.
Intentional Outdoor Hours: 13 hours (of 1000)
We snagged a few hours on Monday which was beautiful (sunny and 60 degrees!) Aunt Kitty picked the babies up early from daycare and folded 2 loads of laundry for me (thank you!!) and then stayed late into the evening to play with the kids outside on the trampoline (a weird game they call wormy wormy which had us all cracking up!) Violet got some practice on her bike without training wheels (she says "without triangles") and did so well. The big kids took a bike ride through the neighborhood and now we are all officially ready for spring - bye winter, we are done with you!
Reading Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson and I started Nyxia by Scott Reintgen after a student returned it to my bookshelf and gushed about how much he enjoyed it. I was like, "okay, fine! I'll read it!" (hah) It is another YA project Lit book and if I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times, Project Lit did such an incredible job choosing books for their list. Amazing and diverse characters and plots. Every book I've read this year that has been on their list I have enjoyed and left me with a lot to reflect and think about. They have a high school and middle school list that you can check out here if you have big kids who are in need of something to read.
Officially certified in CPR after my Act 80 day training on Monday!
Keeping tabs on the babe with two non-stress tests this week and regular check up. All seems to be going well. I had my last ultrasound scheduled for 37 weeks to see what we may need to do at that point if the placenta is still too low-lying and the cord is still in the way. The kids are getting really anxious to meet the little fella. Rusty gives my belly hugs every day and says, "I love my wittle brudder" and Grey asks regularly if the baby is kicking or moving so he can feel/watch. Gem has been very helpful around the house so that I can rest and has admitted that she's worried I'll be hurt or sick when the baby is born. Violet is very snuggly and attention seeking these days, but will randomly walk over to me and hug or pat my belly silently. B just keeps apologizing (hah!) and saying thank you for allowing my body to stretch to this size and deal with the heartburn and back ache so we can have another human in our family. All my students are like, "Senora, do you just forget what happens? because you've done this four times before and here you are again! how? why?" and my only answer for them and for anyone is - no you don't forget (entirely), but right at this moment of enormous belly, wishing my body was my own again, braxton hicks, constant heartburn, constipation, and insomnia - the only thing that justifies it all is that loose skinned neck that smells like heaven. So...?
Smiling at the photos and updates B sent while Violet completed her Kinder testing this week. She did a great job and was very excited to meet the teachers and play all the different stations. Little peanut is growing up!
Getting a visit from the tooth fairy! Violet pulled out her first tooth all on her own - after wiggling it for the last two weeks! She refused to let anyone pull it and just kept at it until it was so loose it practically just slipped out with the slightest pull. She was so proud!
Clearing the schedule on all the things. Like many other states, we went into social distancing mode on Friday afternoon. Greyson's basketball tournament in Pittsburgh this weekend - cancelled. Brandon's conference next week in Pittsburgh - cancelled. Baseball practices - cancelled. Birthday party at the skating rink this weekend - cancelled. Sunday school - cancelled. At 35+ weeks pregnant, maternity leave looming, and my college research paper due in 2 weeks - I'm not going to complain about having the schedule wiped fully clean, but it does feel scary to live through a time that this is happening on such a huge scale. I'm hoping to make the most of it at home and really give our family an opportunity to reset and take a breath. We have been go-go-go since the start of this year, and if we are going to be forced into a slow down, then we are going to milk it for everything it is worth.
Giving the green light to nightly kid campouts during the isolation. The kids went full summer mode and immediately started chanting, "Who's sleeping downstairs tonight?" which the answer to that by any other child in the house is "Me! Me! Me! Me!"
Praying for our family, friends, neighbors, and all of those that have real concerns about this sickness affecting them in a dangerous way. We know plenty of people who fit the criteria for more severe reactions: grandparents & great grandparents, asthmatics, those recovering from surgery or illnesses. We, our family, should be fine even if/when we get it (I've done plenty of studying up on newborns, and even he should be okay if born now), but I'm most concerned about those we love that might now be. Please create space physically, but remain close with phone calls, video chats, and snail mail. This is a very weird time and we will need one another to each do our part in the coming weeks.
College'ing by submitting my draft research paper and receiving really valuable feedback that will help me keep working. It's due on April 5th, so between now and then I'll be reading articles, making corrections, and continuing to write the rest of the paper!
Spring sporting with an indoor baseball practice and a field clean up day and our weekly BB gun league shoot for Grey and Gem. It's Gemma's first year and she's doing great! As of now, we are on hold until further notice for baseball - so it will be playing catch in the backyard for at least the next two weeks.
Teaching the last chapters of Brandon Brown in Sp1 and the last chapters of Esperanza in Sp2. We finished a book each this week in two different levels - yay! Sp2 Honors continued in Somos 1 Unit 3, learned about piropos, and got to hear one of my favorite Selena songs El Chico del apartamento 512. Sp3/4 Honors continued reading Felipe Alou chapters 4-6 and I had two students bring in cardboard baseball gloves for extra credit. We didn't find out that we were closing for two weeks until Friday at 3p - so I had literally only 15 minutes early ushered my students out of school telling them that I would see them on Monday. It is unclear as to how we are moving forward for the next two weeks yet - virtual learning? extended spring break? but either way - I was still at school when it was announced - so I packed up my laptop and supplies in case I would need to teach remotely in the coming two weeks.
Making do with what we have! We did not go to the store at all this week because we were already too busy with school/work/practices/third trimester - but #bigfamilyperks , so we are usually stocked up with extras on hand normally. We are doing fine for now, and I'm oddly motivated to use this time to inventory the freezers and pantry and be creative about meal planning and using up what we have in the coming week. This week though - we had taco chicken wraps (homemade taco seasoning because we didn't have any pre-made packets), cinnamon-sugar banana bread muffins (used up two brown bananas), cheddar brats, hot dogs, and pasta salad, and pierogies on Lent Friday. We were gifted dinner of delicious homemade strombolis, salad, and brownie ice cream sundaes from one of Brandon's co-workers (thank you so much Joan!) and for Pi day on Saturday, I made Johnny Cash's Mom's pineapple pie with homemade pie crust - my first time making pie crust!
 |
| when you are so over your big brother's basketball season |
We snagged a few hours on Monday which was beautiful (sunny and 60 degrees!) Aunt Kitty picked the babies up early from daycare and folded 2 loads of laundry for me (thank you!!) and then stayed late into the evening to play with the kids outside on the trampoline (a weird game they call wormy wormy which had us all cracking up!) Violet got some practice on her bike without training wheels (she says "without triangles") and did so well. The big kids took a bike ride through the neighborhood and now we are all officially ready for spring - bye winter, we are done with you!
Reading Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson and I started Nyxia by Scott Reintgen after a student returned it to my bookshelf and gushed about how much he enjoyed it. I was like, "okay, fine! I'll read it!" (hah) It is another YA project Lit book and if I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times, Project Lit did such an incredible job choosing books for their list. Amazing and diverse characters and plots. Every book I've read this year that has been on their list I have enjoyed and left me with a lot to reflect and think about. They have a high school and middle school list that you can check out here if you have big kids who are in need of something to read.
Officially certified in CPR after my Act 80 day training on Monday!
Keeping tabs on the babe with two non-stress tests this week and regular check up. All seems to be going well. I had my last ultrasound scheduled for 37 weeks to see what we may need to do at that point if the placenta is still too low-lying and the cord is still in the way. The kids are getting really anxious to meet the little fella. Rusty gives my belly hugs every day and says, "I love my wittle brudder" and Grey asks regularly if the baby is kicking or moving so he can feel/watch. Gem has been very helpful around the house so that I can rest and has admitted that she's worried I'll be hurt or sick when the baby is born. Violet is very snuggly and attention seeking these days, but will randomly walk over to me and hug or pat my belly silently. B just keeps apologizing (hah!) and saying thank you for allowing my body to stretch to this size and deal with the heartburn and back ache so we can have another human in our family. All my students are like, "Senora, do you just forget what happens? because you've done this four times before and here you are again! how? why?" and my only answer for them and for anyone is - no you don't forget (entirely), but right at this moment of enormous belly, wishing my body was my own again, braxton hicks, constant heartburn, constipation, and insomnia - the only thing that justifies it all is that loose skinned neck that smells like heaven. So...?
Smiling at the photos and updates B sent while Violet completed her Kinder testing this week. She did a great job and was very excited to meet the teachers and play all the different stations. Little peanut is growing up!
Getting a visit from the tooth fairy! Violet pulled out her first tooth all on her own - after wiggling it for the last two weeks! She refused to let anyone pull it and just kept at it until it was so loose it practically just slipped out with the slightest pull. She was so proud!
Clearing the schedule on all the things. Like many other states, we went into social distancing mode on Friday afternoon. Greyson's basketball tournament in Pittsburgh this weekend - cancelled. Brandon's conference next week in Pittsburgh - cancelled. Baseball practices - cancelled. Birthday party at the skating rink this weekend - cancelled. Sunday school - cancelled. At 35+ weeks pregnant, maternity leave looming, and my college research paper due in 2 weeks - I'm not going to complain about having the schedule wiped fully clean, but it does feel scary to live through a time that this is happening on such a huge scale. I'm hoping to make the most of it at home and really give our family an opportunity to reset and take a breath. We have been go-go-go since the start of this year, and if we are going to be forced into a slow down, then we are going to milk it for everything it is worth.
Giving the green light to nightly kid campouts during the isolation. The kids went full summer mode and immediately started chanting, "Who's sleeping downstairs tonight?" which the answer to that by any other child in the house is "Me! Me! Me! Me!"
Praying for our family, friends, neighbors, and all of those that have real concerns about this sickness affecting them in a dangerous way. We know plenty of people who fit the criteria for more severe reactions: grandparents & great grandparents, asthmatics, those recovering from surgery or illnesses. We, our family, should be fine even if/when we get it (I've done plenty of studying up on newborns, and even he should be okay if born now), but I'm most concerned about those we love that might now be. Please create space physically, but remain close with phone calls, video chats, and snail mail. This is a very weird time and we will need one another to each do our part in the coming weeks.
College'ing by submitting my draft research paper and receiving really valuable feedback that will help me keep working. It's due on April 5th, so between now and then I'll be reading articles, making corrections, and continuing to write the rest of the paper!
Spring sporting with an indoor baseball practice and a field clean up day and our weekly BB gun league shoot for Grey and Gem. It's Gemma's first year and she's doing great! As of now, we are on hold until further notice for baseball - so it will be playing catch in the backyard for at least the next two weeks.
Teaching the last chapters of Brandon Brown in Sp1 and the last chapters of Esperanza in Sp2. We finished a book each this week in two different levels - yay! Sp2 Honors continued in Somos 1 Unit 3, learned about piropos, and got to hear one of my favorite Selena songs El Chico del apartamento 512. Sp3/4 Honors continued reading Felipe Alou chapters 4-6 and I had two students bring in cardboard baseball gloves for extra credit. We didn't find out that we were closing for two weeks until Friday at 3p - so I had literally only 15 minutes early ushered my students out of school telling them that I would see them on Monday. It is unclear as to how we are moving forward for the next two weeks yet - virtual learning? extended spring break? but either way - I was still at school when it was announced - so I packed up my laptop and supplies in case I would need to teach remotely in the coming two weeks.
Making do with what we have! We did not go to the store at all this week because we were already too busy with school/work/practices/third trimester - but #bigfamilyperks , so we are usually stocked up with extras on hand normally. We are doing fine for now, and I'm oddly motivated to use this time to inventory the freezers and pantry and be creative about meal planning and using up what we have in the coming week. This week though - we had taco chicken wraps (homemade taco seasoning because we didn't have any pre-made packets), cinnamon-sugar banana bread muffins (used up two brown bananas), cheddar brats, hot dogs, and pasta salad, and pierogies on Lent Friday. We were gifted dinner of delicious homemade strombolis, salad, and brownie ice cream sundaes from one of Brandon's co-workers (thank you so much Joan!) and for Pi day on Saturday, I made Johnny Cash's Mom's pineapple pie with homemade pie crust - my first time making pie crust!
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