The Mom Next Door Series: Shelly C

Our Mom Next Door Interview comes all the way from rural Alaska, thanks to the candid and amazing Momma of twins and a singleton (all boys!), Shelly C.  If I'm being honest myself - over the past two years, I have come to consider Shelly as an actual real life friend of mine, despite the fact that we've never met in person.  The internet brought us together in this little corner of the MommyBlog world and I have been grateful ever since.

Through her gorgeous pictures, hilarious snippets of life with boys, and her enthusiasm and dedication to a life that is literally off the grid - I find inspiration regularly from Shelly.  I know you will too, so please take  minute today to read more about Shelly, her boys, and her life as a Bush Momma.

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Hi! I am Shelly, a stay-at-home mama of three, living most of my life in a tiny village in Alaska and blogging at The Cunningham Family in Bush Alaska. In addition to my three rambunctious boys (the twins, Logan & Jack, age 6 and "the baby" --I seriously HAVE to stop calling him that-- Wyatt, now 3) I also live with my best friend (and husband) Josh.

In my former life, I earned my bachelors degree in psychology with a minor in human development, and while I am not using that degree in a career, I find it quite useful on a daily basis raising three littles. Also in my former life I spent six years as a classroom assistant in special education.

Now I am - what I refer to as- a "bush mama", meaning I homeschool, entertain and hang out with our three boys; and I also bake bread, make tortillas and cook things from scratch (less from desire than for necessity). I consider it "warm" out if we are above ten degrees, thanking God for every day that the twins can gear themselves up to go outside now, and willingly spend $15 on a twelve pack of Coke at the co op in our village.

Marshall, Alaska

Which chore is your least favorite?   My least favorite chore has to be making bread. It's a necessary evil, and I am always ridiculously happy when it's done, but I hate doing it. I also dislike making tortillas and meal planning.

What has become (at least for now) you're parenting mantra or guiding principle?  "There is only love" has been my mantra lately. It helps me remember to see things from their perspective and love them through whatever they are going through.

What keeps you up at night?  Feeding the kids right, getting them enough exercise; balancing praise with not creating competitiveness between the twins; loving "the baby" (there I go again!) through his tantrums, while not raising him to be a spoiled brat.



What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now?  We are just settling into our routine again after spending the summer in Washington state. While it feels good to be back home in Alaska; unpacking, organizing and jumping back into homeschooling has been, at times, overwhelming!

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom?  I am really organized. This is a huge boon to our family as living in a remote place like we do, requires a lot of planning. Stocked shelves in the pantry, well thought-out packing for summers spent away, and traveling over 2500 miles as a family of five are all a lot simpler when planned in advance.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom?  Not rushing. I wish I could remember to slow down.  And also go to bed earlier. I'm much more pleasant then.



What is the one "Mom Tip or Trick" that you can share that has made your life easier somehow? When traveling for a long period of time, have one bag that is for your short term hotel stay that has everyone's things in it. That way, you don't have to unload the whole car for just one night!
Also, there is no shame in velcro shoes, water can almost always cheer the children up (hello bath time!), and sometimes, it's okay to have cereal for dinner.

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now?  I treasure small feet in Saltwater sandals, all three boys asleep in the back seat, and their eyes on fireworks at the fourth of July. Magic.



What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by?   Baby wearing. My three year old is now over 40 pounds and I really miss his squishy baby self. I also miss rocking him to sleep.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood?  Every.single.thing that I EVER judged a mom for, I now do. I give in to whining sometimes, I have had pink mold in my bathroom from a lack of proper cleaning, and sometimes my kids' hair looks like they just rolled out of bed. I am also surprised that it feels wrong (selfish) to take time for myself.

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood?  That my heart grew big enough to love all my children, and that I would do anything for those boys. I am a mom through and through, and I took to parenting like a fish to water. My younger, more naive self, would be shocked that I live where I do, but I also know she'd be proud that I was willing to sacrifice so much in order to be home with my children.

The Mom Next Door Series: Jessica S

Our Mom Next Door Interview this week comes from Jessica, a 'sorta'-stay at home mom to her three boys living in Western PA.  I was introduced to Jessica through a mutual friend that we have who was singing her praises in the love and perseverance that Jessica has in raising her family.  After learning more about Jessica and her family, I am so honored to have her voice and story included in the interview series (thank you, Carli for the introduction!)  

Jessica and her husband were informed that their third son had suffered an in-utero stroke and the initial prognosis was very grim; but now - over a year since receiving the terrifying news; Jessica and her family continue to dance, laugh, and cherish each day as a family celebrating the small joys and spreading awareness along the way.

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Who are you? I am Jessica Sims. I am 33 years old and live in the mountains of Western Pennsylvania. While I love the amazing view from our deck my husband took it a little too far when he moved us into a log home. Talk about endless dusting!!

Who is in your family? My husband and truly my best friend and biggest fan is K.C. Our three sons are Ike, Carter and Quincy.

What do you do for work? Mostly I am a "stay at home" mom that doesn't ever get to stay at home between running my youngest to therapies/doctor appointments and my older two to soccer and baseball games. I do work for Credo, an online tutoring service, as an english/social studies teacher. I'm so thankful for Credo because I can have a flexible schedule but still be "in the classroom."

What has become (at least for now) you're parenting mantra or guiding principle?  Nothing is better than this day! With the birth of Quincy, our lives were changed when doctors told us that he had suffered an in-utero stroke and at best we would have four months with him.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? The first six months with Q when we held our breath each day hoping that it wasn't the day that something happened that would take him away from us. Also having each doctors appointment when they would tell us over and over again the grim prognosis that we should expect. Thankfully Q is a fighter, we just celebrated 13 months and he is amazing us each day!

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? It's not all giggles and refrigerator art to be proud of. It is disappointment - when you watch your child try so hard but not be able to achieve something. It is gut-wrenching when you have to watch your child being sick or in pain and there is nothing that you can do. 

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood? I know every family or situation is different but I like my kids with me all the time. They tag along to every thing from grocery shopping to doctor appointments. We have fun doing the everyday things and KC and I never miss a moment of their growing up. (My family actually jokes about how "selfish" we are with our kids because we don't let them stay over all the time, etc)

Which chore is your least favorite?  LAUNDRY - the gathering, sorting, treating, washing, drying, folding, and then you have to put it all away just to be gotten out again! Thankfully I have a hubby that is willing to do our laundry! Bonus he is able to keep the whites staying white!

What keeps you up at night? We don't have the time for that long list.

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now? Aside from Q's therapy four times a week and monthly doctor's appointment things are slowly down for the Sims family. On Mother's Day we hosted Quincy's Quest, a 5k to raise pediatric stroke awareness  (Quincy's Quest website). Plus we had a family wedding and all three boys' birthday parties recently so I'm thankful for a little down time.

Dropping off supplies to Ronald McDonald House

How do you unwind ore re-charge? I adore early morning walks by a local lake, when there are few people out and the dew is still on the grass. The freshness of it all charges me for the day ahead. 

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? When all three boys are snuggling with me in the morning, either reading our devotions or just talking about what we are going to do that day. I will really miss that day when Ike feels he is too old to snuggle.

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by? While I miss Ike and Carter being toddlers it is also so much fun to see their excitement for life. How excited they are when they learn something new at school or read a new book that they can't wait for me to read so we can talk about it.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom? Patience! I get so upset with myself when I lose my patience with the boys. It is such a thin line sometimes. I don't want them to grow up too fast but I want them to be responsible.

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? I asked my boys what they thought and they confirmed my answer...silliness and fun. I have dance parties in the kitchen with them after a hard day at school. And birthday parties:  we have awesome birthday parties at our house.

The Mom Next Door Series: Jennifer C

Our Mom Next Door this week is someone that I am grateful to know both personally and formerly as a coworker.  We both taught in Brooklyn, NY with Teach for America and then we both joined up to work for the same company following our time in the classroom.  Besides her dedication to education for all kids - Jen is also one awesome momma.  She is a full time working, school board leading, boho-chic traveling, single momma to her munchkin-queen daughter Honora.  

It is my pleasure to bring you some of Jen's inspiring insight and voice to the Mom Next Door Series today.  Please take a minute to read her witty and meaningful thoughts on being a momma and balancing it all.

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Who are you? Jen C.; 33 years old living in Washington D.C.

Who is in your family?  Honora Junebug Jones, age 7 and a half (the half is very, very important)

What do you do for work?  mom with a paycheck I work on one of those big, scary college readiness tests as it tries to join the digital age

Which chore is your least favorite? Cleaning, especially dishes, vacuuming, mopping, changing sheets, and scrubbing the bathtub. Um, is everything an option? Blech. Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness never heard of Handybook: the money I pay a cleaning lady twice a month is worth (almost) as much as the money I earmark for the Anthropologie sale rack.

What has become (at least for now) your parenting mantra or guiding principle? Let it go. Oh, wait. That’s just my daughter’s mantra. I suppose my personal one is 'Relish the details': the sweet smell of detangler as we comb Honora's crazy curls; the apropos of nothing compliments she bestows on me; when she grabs my hand to cross the street.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? Probably the first milestone of (pre) momhood: finding out I was going to have a baby. I had just moved to NYC as part of Teach for America’s corps, was in graduate school, and casually dating after a bad break up. I lived with two other girls who were trying to make it a la 'Laverne and Shirley' in Brooklyn; my apartment was above a Chinese restaurant (I am pretty sure was Mafia-run). I could barely get my laundry together for send out (even then I didn't like chores!)  I was attending happy hour regularly (read: every day) after going hoarse from wrangling middle school kids. I was not prepared and not planning (for a long time anyways) the munchkin queen (one of Honora Schmonora’s gazillion nicknames). But I have found that most of the things I don’t anticipate end up being the best. Honora is definitely the crazy amazing best thing I never planned; now, I cannot really remember life before her.

What keeps you up at night? That my choices – which I have agonized over with Excel spreadsheet lists and pros/cons docs tormenting me as I lather my hair (and get more lathered about executing a decision) – aren't right for Honora; that I am letting her down. That being a single mom isn't fair or right or good enough for her.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? How much you worry about someone other than yourself. Like constant worry. Did she brush her teeth? Do I travel too much for work, and she thinks I am abandoning her? Does this place have a kid’s menu, and will she eat food at this restaurant? Is that cup BPA free (and what is BPA and will it kill us if this cup does, indeed, have it)?

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood? That I am killing it. Just kidding. Kind of ;) No really, I think 24-year old Jen would be happy to know I still can rock high heels, make an amazing pitcher of guava daiquiris, and prepare Annie’s mac ‘n’ cheese, all at the same time. Motherhood has definitely helped me step up my multitasking game.

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now?  I am on Honora’s school board. It’s so much work (but you should totally do it). It’s seriously my second job, after raising Honni and before my 9-to-5’er (no, for real – I Google drive and Doodle the heck out of the academic committee, which I lead). Education is a personal and professional passion of mine. When the opportunity to participate on the board of first year charter in D.C. presented itself, I was like, hey, sounds fun...? 

I should probably share now that I have history of over committing myself (Tab- sound familiar? ;) ) and also being a crazy perfectionist (although I would argue I hide my Type A pretty well; I appear to look laid back, but I am dying inside to do it right and my way every time). The school is moving into its second year, and we are replacing our Head of School. I am leading the search and hiring committee, and it’s pretty much consumed my life. But if not me, then who? And I would be losing a heck of a lot more sleep if I sent her to a school that didn't meet my (very) high expectations; this is important “stuff”, and I am 110% committed to making the school an amazing place for all our kids.

How do you unwind ore re-charge? In the past year, I have realized that as much as I love my daughter, as often as I am away from her for work, I need “me” time, too, and that doesn't make me a horrible, out-of-touch, hands-off mom. I like to get a babysitter and hit up Target or Whole Foods (Bougie Mom meccas), attend a meet-up of my foodie group (lots of recipe and restaurant trying out –yum), or going out with grown ups as we finish sentences with no interruptions lubricated with white wine spritzers.

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? My daughter is amazingly confident. I have tried to set up a home where “you can’t do that” is only saved for activities that will stain my white couch (and even then...), a place where she feels valued and acknowledged and fearless. She should have no boundaries on her dreams and encouraged to think even bigger. I am really proud of how she is so willing to take anything on, always gets back up if she falters, and has a real gusto for adventure and new experiences. I am so ridiculously proud of her, I feel like my heart will explode sometimes. For seriousness.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom? Stopping and really paying attention. My life and mind generally are going 1k/miles an hr. I feel like I miss so much with all that multitasking mentioned above and just generally being distracted with work, bills, driving here and there, etc.  

What is the one "Mom Tip or Trip" that you can share that has made your life easier somehow? Let it go. No, this is not another Frozen reference. When I am stressed or busy with 15 things (that darn multitasking), I tend to lose my patience over small stuff. Then I feel terrible and either a) apologize to the point of craziness (i.e., give in to chicken nugget dinner because I feel bad) or b) sulk in my room/ kitchen/ nook I can be alone and ruin my night (and her’s). In the moment, I try to count to five – no really, I do – and sometimes just walk away. It helps quell freak outs (mine, not her’s); if I flip, I just let it go. It happened. Moving on (in a positive way).

family vacation in Bosnia

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? She is like a mini-BFF (or BFFFFFFF as she says). We always say “Mom first, friend second”, but she is becoming a little lady in such a fun way. On most days, she’s my first choice for a girl's day out (currently a good meal on a patio, some Target browsing, Super hero movie-watchin', and perhaps a gelato to cap it off). She’s a little Big kid rather than a big Little kid these days. I hope this sweetness and enthusiasm for chilling with me lingers through her preteen/ teen days.

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by? I cry (a lot and in the privacy of my bedroom) about how big she is, and really, I am so afraid I don’t remember everything. I tried to not live behind a camera so I could really experience all the moments with her, but then I worry I don’t have enough pictures of the “fun times.” So, I guess, I worry that I might not even know how to answer this question! 

I will say I miss how she used to say French fry ("prench pry"), and how when we lived in NYC, she told everyone she was the queen of the forest (or the Brooklyn Bridge – depended on the day) as she wore this cute green tutu and curtsied around the living room with her halo of blonde curls. Ack, tearing up as I write this.

The Mom Next Door Series: Katie F

Kate is not only one of my best friends since freshman year of college, but in our current world, she holds an even higher title than that in my life; she is the Mom of my kids' best friends.  This is a pretty lofty role as I know my kids will learn, be influenced, and grow through their friendships throughout their lives.  Surely, they will grow to make other friends with other parents who will also make an impact on them, but I am eternally grateful that they have had Kate and  her family in their lives since birth.  That my kids not only have friends that are being raised by a mother that I respect, love, and admire - but also that they have another Mom that they feel comfortable and safe to be themselves around.

Please take a minute or two this morning to read more about my best friend, and a Mom Next Door: Kate.

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Who are you?  I am Katie Fiore, a 31 year old Mother who lives in Altoona, PA

Who is in your family?  My husband Michael, our daughter Sophie (4years), and our son Charlie (2years).

What do you do for work?   Most days I stay home with my kids, but I do have a part time job as a Behavior Specialist (8-10 hrs a week) which gives me the chance to both get out of the house occasionally and continue working with kids (I was a full time teacher before I had my daughter).

Which chore is your least favorite?  I hate doing laundry! Mainly because it's folding and putting away clothes for four people. No, wait - even worse is ironing!

What has become (at least for now) your parenting mantra or guiding principle?  I remind myself everyday that they aren't going to be small forever; that I have to appreciate every moment of them needing me, even if it drives me crazy! I try everyday to live in the moment (which is incredibly hard for me) but there are moments of the day, when they are both sitting on my lap reading or we are playing a silly game on the floor where I just breath them in. One of my favorite moments of the day is just before I go to bed and sneak into their rooms and watch them sleep. It blows me away that they sleep so peacefully after being crazy all day, but most of all that they are mine.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood?  That it completely changes your outlook on life. I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love my children and they are never not in my thoughts. Even going out with my husband on a date to get a break isn't really a break, because I am constantly thinking of them.

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood?  That, although motherhood has changed almost everything about my life, it hasn't changed who I am, what I love to do, or my relationship with my husband.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)?  After a complicated pregnancy with my son, he was born healthy (thank God!) but after bringing him home he had to be taken by ambulance to intensive care because of extreme jaundice. It was the scariest time of my life. I didn't know if he was going to be ok and I couldn't hold him or breast feed him because he had to stay under lights. I had a nurse tell me when he wouldn't stop crying that there was nothing I could do; it was heartbreaking!

After a few days, Charlie got healthier and I spoke with his doctor. I asked him if there were going to be any long term side effects of this and he told us to, "just watch his development to make sure he's on track." Needless to say that is all I worried about for the next year and a half. I am just now starting to relax. Seeing Charlie talk and grow is an amazing relief!

What keeps you up at night?  Worrying about something bad happening to them, everything seems so perfect so I'm waiting for something to go wrong...I know it's a completely pessimistic way to look at things but I can't help it.  So I just pray every night that things continue to be as wonderful as they are.

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now?  Trying to find exciting camps/activities for Soph to do this summer, she loves learning and meeting new people so I want to encourage it as much as I can!

How do you unwind ore re-charge?  I love to run. It's the one thing I do for myself just about everyday. If I don't get some sort of exercise I feel a little crazy. My mom would say to me when I was younger if I was sad or grumpy or bored to go for a run. It always worked; it's my cure for everything!

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom?  I think I am really funny - at least my kids make me feel like I am! I'm also good at expressing my emotions to them whether it be to say "I love you more than ice cream and rainbows" or "Mommy is really frustrated right now".   As a behavior specialist and former teacher I realize the importance of being able to identify how you are feeling and communicate it. A child isn't going to listen to you, learn, or grow if they can't express themselves.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom?   I wish I could sit for hours and play with my kids, but I'm too antsy! I play princess for 5 minutes and think of something I wanted to do around the house! I also need to stop looking at my phone so much around them and just give them all my attention without any distractions.

What is the one "Mom Tip or Trick" that you can share that has made your life easier somehow?  My mother-in-law taught me the importance of a good sleep schedule. I think a consistent sleep schedule for babies leads to healthier and happier families for years to follow.  I hear moms talk about sleep with such frustration and I want to just carry around copies of "Baby Wise" to give them because it really did save my life as a new Mom! 

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by?  Holding a sleeping infant and breast feeding. I'm lucky to have friends that are still having children so I can hold and love their babies. Actually, while visiting one of my best friends and her new baby we talked about the amazing smells of infants. Even their poop smells good!

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now?  I feel like I am the most important person in their lives. I am who they want when they cry and who they want to make them laugh. It's amazing to be so wanted and needed.  I love the moments in the day where I look at them, smell them, and hug them and just feel overwhelming joy. I told Sophie the other day that it made me feel like my heart was going to burst. She liked that.

The Mom Next Door Series: Cara E.

Today's Mom Next Door is from a momma who is near and dear to my heart.  So near and dear in fact, she's in the family.  This week, my cousin Cara is sharing a little about her life as a new-ish mom navigating not only the world of motherhood but also another country as she and her family recently relocated to Germany on military orders.

Cara is my husband's first cousin and I have known her since she was probably 11 or 12 years old.  I've watched her grow into a teenager, adult, and now a momma.  She has always been full of life, spirit, and beauty - but never more so as she is as a Mom.

Lainey is so lucky to have her as a Mum and I feel lucky to have her voice included in this series.  Please read on to learn more about Cara and her reflections on becoming a Mom.
 
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Who are you? My name is Cara Edmonds, (previously a Studer!) I was born and raised in rural Pennsylvania. After joining the military, I was stationed in Tacoma, Washington for three years where my husband and I met. We just recently moved to Germany on military orders!

Who is in your family?  Myself, my husband Bruce, and our 7 month old daughter Lainey live on a military base in Baumholder, Germany. I also have a 5 year old stepdaughter, Larissa. She lives with her mother here in Germany.  And we just got a brand new addition to our family, a beautiful Bengal kitten named Neeko.

What do you do for work?  I was active duty military for 3 years. Upon my pregnancy we decided as a family it was best for me to accept an honorable discharge so I could be a full time Mommy to our Lainey girl. I plan on using my benefits to get back in school full time this fall. Very exciting and nerve racking.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? The amazingness of it all.  How much this tiny little human would make me love, endlessly. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking how deep this love goes. How on October 29th, 2013 at 1:19 AM, my life would forever be changed.  Everything now has new meaning, purpose, and appreciation.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)?  The first two weeks of Lainey’s life. We found out at 20 weeks pregnancy that she had a birth defect called Gastroschisis. This meant that her abdominal wall didn't properly close, and her intestines were on the outside of her body through an opening next to the umbilical cord. I had to go for weekly ultrasounds the rest of the pregnancy.   Every gastroschisis is unique, so they told me that they have no idea of the severity of the situation until she would be born. I was induced so the whole team needed for our girl afterwards were waiting. Just moments after being born my angel needed an operation. They were able to put everything back inside her and where it should be right then. I was able to go see her about 3 hours after she was born.

She spent the next 2 weeks in the NICU. We were so blessed, for her speedy recovery, and her ability to begin eating and digesting without issues. It was so hard to leave her in the NICU to go home each night without her. I wanted to be present all the time; I feared she would wake up, and I wouldn't be there and imagined how scary that would be for her. I felt like I wasn't being her mother. At the time it was so frustrating, every poke of her foot to draw blood every four hours, would make me cry. But I knew that the nurses did more for her than I could given the situation.  With faith and prayers (and more faith and prayers!)  Our Lainey won! God bless her surgeon and all her amazing nurses. I could never show them all my gratitude.

How do you unwind ore re-charge? Unwinding is the best. TV and Me = meant to be!! I have many silly little shows I get so excited for, that its probably a little ridiculous (lol). To name a few Face Off, Project Runway, Hell’s Kitchen, Cutthroat Kitchen. & Jimmy Fallon. Everyone needs some Jimmy Fallon. To recharge I like to drink coffee with Girl Scout Samoa creamer in the morning sun!

Who are the moms you look up to? There are two mothers that jump out at this question. My mother and my sister Tausha. I speak of both of them when I say their love is endless. They are both Christian women who raise their children with Christian values. They are so hardworking and make -what would be impossible to someone else- possible. They never give up. They are hands down the strongest women and mothers I know. True role models of the woman and mom I hope to one day be!

stay connected despite distance.  Cara's Mom, Dad, Sister, Niece, and Grandmother talking via technology

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom? I feel some guilt for not following through with breastfeeding. With Lainey being in the NICU I was able to pump and store a lot, but being busy; my supply ran down. Also, I would feel so frustrated when she’s screaming and crying of hunger, and just giving her a bottle made her happy, and in return make me happy too. I guess in the end, it really isn't for everyone. If bottle feeding my child can help me to enjoy her more, then so be it! Plus she got the good stuff for the first few weeks!

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? I feel I am very patient and compassionate as a mother. And its crazy because patience was one of my biggest fears of motherhood. My patience has run very thin the older I get (this is normal right? Haha!) but with Lainey it’s a whole different story. I love to snuggle my sometimes irrationally cranky sweet angel!