The Mom Next Door Series: Stacey R

I am so happy to bring today's Mom Next Door Interview to you from my dear friend Stacey.  Stacey and I met through work where she eventually became my boss (because she's amazing) and was one of the people that helped me transition smoothly and confidently into full time sahmhood.  I was so nervous to tell Stacey that I was leaving work and whether or not she meant to - her words of support, encouragement, and understanding about taking a break from the world of grown ups and move to the land of chaos and children (hah) helped me so much.  (thanks for that Stacey).  

I have always admired Stacey as she is resilient, honest, and a dedicated friend, colleague, and above all Mom to her three kids.  Please take a few minutes to read today about Stacey and be inspired as I always am by her graceful march through all of life's beautiful and unfair moments.

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Who are you? I am a 45 year old, full-time working Mom who lives in Murrieta, CA with three amazing kids and one slightly crazy cat. My oldest daughter is 14 going on 18, my son is 13, and my youngest daughter is 11. Some of the details in the previous sentences may explain why I have no blog, website or anything other than Facebook!

What do you do for work? I work as a Director of Client Program Management for Scantron. I am fortunate to work from my home as a remote employee and travel just often enough to enjoy a night or two in a quiet hotel room. I consider myself very blessed to honestly say I love what I do and the people with whom I work.

How do you unwind ore re-charge?  Being a San Diego native, the beach is definitely my happy place. The sound, smell and sight of the ocean relaxes and rejuvenates me. Spa treatments are good too!

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom?  I would say one thing I’m good at is keeping a sense of humor – you've got to be able to laugh at yourself and your kids too and enjoy the lighter moments in life.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom?  I can do a better job teaching and modelling the value of exercise as part of an overall healthy lifestyle. I’m afraid what I’ve taught my children is it’s easier and faster to drive somewhere than to walk somewhere. When I suggest we go for a walk, it might take a few minutes to persuade them to come along just for the exercise and fresh air without needing a particular destination. Regardless, one is a swimmer and one is in martial arts so it’s not too late to change!

Which chore is your least favorite?  Taking out the trash. I used to somewhat joke with my late husband that it is the man’s job to take out the trash. Now, my son fills the much-needed and appreciated job of trashman in our house.

What is the one "Mom Tip or Trick" that you can share that has made your life easier somehow?  Teaching my kiddos age-appropriate levels of independence and self-sufficiency. For example, all three of my children have been packing their own school lunch since they were in Kindergarten or 1st grade. I would make sure we had a variety of healthy and fairly easy items to pack in a lunch, and they would make their own selections. I can’t think of one time when they complained about their lunch because they made it!

What has become (at least for now) your parenting mantra or guiding principle?  Life isn't fair. Some things are beyond our control, not what we expect or want, but it’s often times in our best interest to adjust and keep going. I encourage my children to focus on what is in their control and think about how their behavior or attitude affects a situation. 

  

Who are the moms you look up to?
1. My neighbor, Amy, who is about to have her seventh child. I don’t know how she does it all.
2. My friend, Jen, who willingly chose single motherhood. I didn't sign up to be a single mom, but she did, and I admire her for that.
3. My friend, Vanessa, who has adopted two beautiful children when she and her husband struggled with fertility. From her stories, I’ve learned that strangers can inadvertently be rude or even cruel to adoptive parents, but she has a relaxed demeanor, not letting others’ comments get to her.

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now?  I really treasure the one-on-one time I have with each child. Sometimes these opportunities come in small increments of time, but whether it’s a few minutes or a few hours, I love having time to talk and connect with each child individually. One piece of advice I remember being given early on in motherhood was to foster an environment where your children want to talk with you because they know you will really listen. Start this when they are young and it’s more natural for them to talk about ALL kinds of things, and it will continue through the teen years when you want them to talk with you most.

the Mom Next Door Series: Erin S

Our Mom Next Door interview today comes from Erin S of Ohio, a mumma to her one year old and a full time working therapist to kids and teenagers.  Erin and I have been friends since meeting our freshman year of college at Susquehanna.  We spent a lot of time together, as we had so much in common; volleyball players, Spanish majors, and even studying abroad in Costa Rica at the same time.

Erin has always inspired me and she continues to do so by her passion for what she does and her dedication to her son.  I am so glad to include her candid voice in our series as she talks about the struggles all Moms experience but don't always admit; like pumping in the work place, worrying about the right time to expand your family, and making time for your spouse.

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Who are you? I'm Erin, a 31-year-old working mama living in Northeast Ohio.

Who is in your family? I live with my husband, Justin, our just-turned-1 year old (literally, yesterday!!) son, Owen, and our two dogs, Renny Grace and Hammer Time (middle names only used when in trouble or when M.C. Hammer is stuck in our heads).

What do you do for work? I work full-time as a therapist (soon to be licensed psychologist). I do individual and group therapy with kids and teenagers struggling with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and family issues.

Which chore is your least favorite? As a full-time working, breastfeeding mama, I'd have to say pumping. Pumping stinks! It's inconvenient, noisy, and uncomfortable. I've also had coworkers knock on the door while I'm pumping AND even try to unlock the door not realizing I was in there!! Embarrassing! It's worth it since it benefits Owen, but I'm looking forward to the weaning process to at least lower the amount of pumping at work!

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? My pre-mom self would be surprised that I wasted SO.MUCH.TIME. before becoming a mom. I surely had time to finish his nursery (which still needs curtains) before he was born. My house could have been cleaner, I could have exercised more, etc. If my pre-mom self operated on the same waking hours as my mom-self and took advantage of spare moments as often, I would've surely solved all the world's problems. Alas, now, I have an Owen to take care of...sorry, world!

How do you unwind or re-charge? It's officially football season again, so Steelers games are a big way for me to unwind. I'll also have the occasional glass of wine or beer, watching my recorded TV shows, and reading. Two things I'm loving lately: 1) Downton Abbey (no spoilers please!) - just started watching on Amazon Prime, and Justin and I are hooked! 2) Tina Fey's book, Bossypants. I couldn't stop laughing! For a good read on the "To expand your family/To not expand your family debate" read this book! As for re-charging, I try to plan trips back to Central PA (where our families are from) and/or to see friends to reconnect. I always feel recharged when I connect with "my people."  In an ideal world, I'd also carve out time for date nights with Justin, exercise (or at least family walks with the dogs), and crafting. 

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? Honestly, no matter how stressful the day has been at work or how worried I am about a medical procedure or shot Owen has to get, I feel that I'm pretty good at being consistently, unconditionally attuned when I'm interacting with Owen. I'm not perfect at it, but I feel like I don't let my stressors affect how I talk to and play with him.

Who are the moms you look up to? My mom is especially inspiring to me because she worked full time and maintained a strong connection with her kids. She taught me that it's possible to be a dedicated and good mother and still have a career. Her work--life balance was especially impressive when my dad moved out when I was 13, and my mother became a single parent to my brother and I (and put us both through college!!) - all without a partner! I can't imagine parenting without Justin. My mom rocks.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? Owen was hospitalized once after an ER visit to rule-out possible seizures, which ended up not being seizures (yay!). The process of finding out they weren't seizures was so nerve-wracking. He had multiple procedures that were very difficult to watch in a very short span of time, and only one parent was allowed in the room each time (I wasn't going anywhere; and, luckily, Justin preferred being out of the room). Watching him cry in pain, discomfort, and fear was the most heart-wrenching experience I have had to date as a mother.

What keeps you up at night? Family planning. My husband and I both appreciated (and still appreciate) having siblings growing up, but figuring out the financial, spatial (we live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom home), and timing issues is difficult. I also feel like that clock is a-tickin' in terms of my age, so balancing all of those considerations weigh on my overly analytical, anxious mind quite a bit. 

I also worry about the time I spend away from Owen due to work. I love my job, but wish I could work a 20-30 hour work week to have more time with him, especially now when he's so little. This worry has affected the number of dates Justin and I have gone on since Owen was born (drumroll please....). We have gone out only 2 times in the last 12 months! I just feel so bad not spending every.minute.I.can. with Owen during the hours we're home with him. He'll only be little so long...

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? Oh, so many things. The feeling of his hand on my cheek. The smile of recognition when I walk into the daycare to pick him up. The times when he really wants his "mama" over anyone else. The nights nursing him to sleep. Watching him learn new things! He's picking up some sign language recently and he uses brushes and combs to "comb" his hair and my hair sometimes. There are just so many little moments to catch and enjoy. I love being his mama.

The Mom Next Door Series: Jen S

I am honored today to bring you our Mom Next Door interview from Jen S; the mom of a girl and an incredible little boy who overcame an enormous obstacle in his young life.  Jen and her husband Kevin are former residents of our hometown who gave our entire community (and beyond) a lesson in standing together and believing against all odds in never giving up.  One of Jen's photo captions following Owen's successful surgeries stood out to me, sort of encapsulating their whole story, it read:  "Don't believe in miracles?  Maybe he (Owen) will help you."

Please read on to learn more about Jen, Owen, and their entire family who stood together through a very scary challenge, only to come out stronger and with the firm belief that anything is possible with prayers, support, and love behind you.

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Who are you?  My name is Jen Sheridan. I'm 33 years old and live in Pittsburgh, PA. I don't blog, but I do have a Facebook page for my son own - Owen's Miracle Journey

Who is in your family?  I live with my husband Kevin, daughter Aubrey (2 years), son Owen (10 months), and our 7 year old 100lb lap dog Dakota

What do you do for work?  I just started work at Carlow University this October as the Senior Accountant.  For the last 5 years before that, I was employed by Conemaugh Health System in their Internal Audit Department.

What has been your most difficult Mom moment (so far)?  Owen was born with a neural tube defect known as an encephalocele. To say it was large is an understatement. No one thought they could operate so we were sent home on Hospice. With the strength of God, my husband, family and friends we spoke to numerous doctors until we found a group of AWESOME doctors at Boston Children's Hospital who would perform a very risky, but life saving surgery. We owe them the world.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood?  That I can actually function on 5 hours of sleep! I used to sleep in until 11am...9am used to be too early for me to wake up!  Now, it would be fantastic if I could sleep IN until 9a!

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood?  I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be when it comes to our kids. My husband and I fought and fought for our son. All the experts told us that he would not make it to term, much less live outside of the womb. We were told he wouldn't be able to breathe on his own. He surprised everyone and was born screaming. 

Which chore is your least favorite?  Putting close away. I don't mind folding them but somehow they won't get in the closet or the dresser.

What keeps you up at night?  Our daughter! She starts the night in her crib but wakes up in the middle of the night. The only way I learned to function was to bring her in bed with us. She sleeps until morning in our bed and I have to admit, I love it. I know someday she won't want to be in there with us. So I'm trying to enjoy the time as much as possible... even when she keeps me up for hours.

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now?  We just relocated to Pittsburgh from our hometown of Johnstown, PA. My husband and I had to get new jobs, sell our Johnstown home, buy a home in Pittsburgh and move...and we did it all within the last 2 months. It's been hectic but we felt this is what is best for our family.

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom?  Patience. Sometimes my patience is very lacking. I hate that about myself and I'm definitely working on it.

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now?  The hugs, kisses, smiles and cuddles. I wouldn't trade that for the world. Now that my daughter is talking (non-stop!) I love when I put her to bed. We must say "I love you" five (or more) times before I finally shut the door.

The Mom Next Door Series: Marianne S

Today is an important day to me; it's my husband's 30th birthday!  In our house, we have two grown-up birthday traditions.  The first is to say, "I'm so glad you were born" because that's the honest-to-goodness truth.  Without my husband being born, my life would be drastically different and inevitably not as good as it is with him in it.  I am so, so happy and grateful he was born.

The second is a thank our Mum; considering she was in fact the one that did all the work on that very first birthday. So it is my great honor to bring our Mom Next Door Interview to all of you today from my Mum-in-Law; Marianne- the woman I regularly thank, but especially today.  Thanks Gigi for raising Brandon to be such a great man.  Thanks for supporting, laughing, and being up for crazy adventures with your son's wacky wife.  And thank you for being such a loving, invested, and hands-on grandma to our babies.  You undoubtedly worked hard on this day 30 years ago today - and because of that (and all the work you did in the following 30 years and will continue to do); MY own life - and the lives of so many people in Brandon's life -have been blessed.

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Who are you? I am a 55 years young wife, mother, and grandmother from Johnstown, Pa.

Who is in your family? At home, it's me, my husband, Rudy and our furbaby Rosie.  I was blessed with one son, Brandon, who is married to the lovely and talented Tabitha.  And now we have our three amazing grandbabies; Greyson, Gemma and our newest addition, Violet!

What do you do for work? I am a full time TSS at Highmark,

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? Before I was a Mom, my life certainly was all about me. The come and go as I pleased; do whatever, whenever. However, the moment I held my son in my arms for the very first time...heard his first cry and touched his small fingers and toes - something inside of me changed instantly. I fell deeply in love with this gift from God. 

That moment was 30 years ago today and somehow it still feels like yesterday.

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? I lost both of my parents before my son was born. I also misscarried my first child. There are times in early motherhood that you just need your own mom's advice. There were many times, (daily!), that I wish I could have spoken to my mom; to get advice, complain, or just laugh about motherhood. 

We obviously didn't have the internet to google back then, so even the smallest things like a rash, or him not eating something, felt like a crisis to me. I read lots of books, and reached out for advice from my mother-in law and friends. I am sure I made my share of mistakes, but he seemed to have turned out just fine! (Although he claims I pulled his hair to discipline him; I have no such memory! Haha).  And even though I lost my mom before I became a mother myself, there are times still today that I remember things she said or advice she had mentioned and it is nice to be able to share those memories with my 'kids' (Brandon, Tab, and the grandkids).

What keeps you up at night? I am fully aware that my son is 30 years old and that he is a wonderful, responsible adult with a beautiful family of his own...but let me tell you young moms out there, that the worrying doesn't stop just because they grow up! I still drive my son crazy asking him to text when he gets home. Just ask Tabitha!  She smiles at me and makes sure he does, she's a mom too - so she gets it - hah! 

Which chore is your least favorite? Laundry. Even though its just Big Rude and I, somehow those clothes/towels impossibly multiply daily.

How do you unwind or re-charge? I am faithful to keeping my Sunday afternoon alone time to relax and get ready for the coming work week.  I take an hour or two to lay across the bed and zone out to HGTV or nap.  Moms are notoriously guilty of forgetting to take care of themselves, but my Sunday afternoons of taking care of myself really help me be better at taking care of everything else.

What is the one "Mom Tip or Trick" that you can share that has made your life easier somehow?  Even though I have worked outside the home, my 'Mom job' was my top priority.  I chose to work part time 2-3 days a week when Brandon was growing up.  I always told him that my job would never come before him.  I enjoyed years of being a PTO mom, field trips, school concerts/plays and attended EVERY sporting event including even his college years!  (Not an easy task when you have a child that plays every sport, hah).  I have never regretted that decision - not even for a second.  I may have been passed up for promotions, but I don't regret the quality of time I spent with my son. 

Now that he is grown, I have somewhat moved up the corporate ladder, and I can tell you that you will feel more gratification from watching your child evolve than anything the business world has to offer you.

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by? The snuggles, "the hold me." I know everyone tells young moms to enjoy every minute of it because it goes by fast - but that's because it really does go by in what feels like a blink. I can only say - try not to sweat the dirty bedrooms, the overflowing laundry of grass stained knees, the house with finger printed windows - because someday it will be clean, quiet, and empty.  But if you're lucky - like I am! - you'll get it all back again with grandkids.  

I have three beautiful grandbabies to love and love them we do!  My son laughs now that his kids smudge up all of our windows and their toys are strewn all over the place when they visit.  Now on the grandmother side of motherhood - I know none of that stuff matters; it's all about spending time together and loving them.  That's the best part of being a grandma - I don't have to raise them, I just get to enjoy them!

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? My small joys are watching my son now being a DAD. He is just like his dad; hands on.  I am so proud to see him changing diapers, playing with his kids, teaching them the things he loves like sports, hunting, and fishing. I am so proud of him; the man, husband, and dad he's become. It is just amazing to be able to sit back and watch now.  

The Mom Next Door Series: Chablee J

Our Mom Next Door interview today comes from Chablee, a Mum of two young boys that both arrived after years of waiting and praying for them.  Chablee is a coworker and friend to one of my favorite friends; Taryn.  As a first time expectant Mum herself, Taryn has found inspiration from Chablee's dedication to motherhood, faith, and love.  I am so glad that I have a chance to share her voice here in our series thanks to the suggestion from our mutual friend.

Please read on to learn more about Chablee, her boys, and taking life as it comes one faithful step after another.

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Who are you?  My name is Chablee Johnson, I am 37 years young :) I am a native of Atlanta, Georgia but relocated to Pittsburgh 16 ½ years ago when I married my husband (who is a Pittsburgh native). 

Who is in your family?  My husband Joel and I have been married 16 ½ years and we have two little men ~ Breylon; 8 years old and Braxton; 2 years old. Yes, one baby after 8 years of marriage and another after 14 years of marriage!  

Breylon was a beautiful long awaited surprise! Six years later, out of the clear blue sky, we got another surprise! What a blessing he was for us, because 9 days after the birth of Braxton, my dear mother-in-law passed suddenly. What joy and happiness he brought to the family at such a devastating time. 

What do you do for a living?  I am a Business Account Analyst for a Sales & Marketing Agency in Pittsburgh and I also have an event planning business that I run with a partner.

What would your pre-mom self be surprised to know about motherhood? My pre-mom self would be surprised to know, how little sleep you could function “well” on in motherhood. Ha! Also, she would be surprised to know just how much these little perfect gifts from God bring character, fiber, and meaning to your life. You will never understand unconditional love, true sacrifice and genuine patience until you become a mother.

What would your pre-mom self be proud to know about you in motherhood?  My pre-mom self would be proud that I make my babies my priority and never complain about it.

What has become (at least for now) your parenting mantra or guiding principle?  Our first parenting mantra is to continue to lay a solid spiritual foundation for our boys and lead by example, Our second mantra is to raise them as our parents did us ~ “I brought you in this world and I’ll take you out!” – Cliff Huxtable

What big projects, worries, or events have you busy right now?  I am an event planner and love to be involved in Christian ministry activities (www.jw.org), so that keeps me very busy.

What chore is your least favorite? My least favorite chore is cleaning the bathroom. I have boys and they are not the most sanitary! Hubby helps with laundry and cooking, so I have it made!

How do you unwind or recharge?  I re-charge by sleeping, eating a great dinner, and shopping. Not necessarily in that order either!

What keeps you up at night?  Wondering how to continually protect my children from the inevitable, harsh, and cruel world they are going to face and having to train them on how to deal with what they will face is what keeps me up at night.

What do you feel like you are really good at as a mom? The one thing I think I am good at with being a mom is trying to get them to know ALL of their family. Our families are all spread out in the U.S. and I make a serious effort for them to get to visit and know everyone on both sides of their family. 

What do you feel like you wish you were better at being a mom?  I wish I were better at “letting things go” when it comes to my boys, but I use EVERYTHING as a teaching example. My mother calls me “school” (Lol!)  Friends may say, “that’s how boys are” or “that’s what boys do” and while it may be true, Joel and I try not to let that be an excuse for certain behaviors.

Who are the moms you look up to?  I look up to the moms who are complete “Mama Bears”. The moms that teach their children to love God and follow the example Jesus set. I look up to moms that love unapologetically, that become advocates for their babies, that believe in letting their children have a childhood, that believe you can provide for your family and be a good mother! You don’t necessarily have to choose, that one isn’t better than the other. I look up to moms that teach their girls how to be ladies and their boys how to be gentlemen. I look up to mamas like mine!

What was the most difficult Mom moment you've had (so far)? The most difficult mom moments I have are when my children get sick (both have been hospitalized for respiratory issues) or when we have to comfort our older son because of the death of his grandparents.

What is the one "Mom Tip or Trick" that you can share that has made your life easier somehow? The one mom tip or trick that I have come to appreciate that has made my life easier is that nobody’s house is perfect and Rome wasn't built in a day ~ after my second baby, I used to drive myself crazy trying to work full-time and keep up with everything in my house, make a schedule, etc.  I had to learn that it’s okay to yelp for help & it’s okay to sit and enjoy the kids. The dishes and laundry will be there...I was fortunate enough to have my mama stay with me for 3 months after the birth of my boys and what a true blessing that was. It gave me time to heal, enjoy the baby and get my sea legs.

What are the small joys of being a Mom that you treasure most right now? The small joys I treasure now are the love & compassion my boys display. Hearing their conversations & interaction with each other at such a young age and having them run and jump to hug and kiss us when we walk in the door or first wake up in the morning. PRICELESS.

What do you miss most from Mom days already gone by? The thing I miss most from Mom days already gone by is not capturing enough photos and videos of crawls, hugs, kisses, laughs, etc. It goes by so extremely fast, I wish I would have taken more… I was too busy soaking it all in! I also miss the smell of a new baby, nothing like it!!!