the Coach's Wife

We have made it to the last game of our daddy's very first season as varsity boy's basketball coach at Valley.  It has been a learning experience and adjustment period for our whole family over the course of these last few months.  When B took the job this past summer, we were so excited.  Lots of people congratulated us, more told us we were crazy, and a few gave us a sarcastic 'good luck!' We knew to expect long winter days while Dad put in a full day at work and then the rest of his evening at practice or a game.  But there were lots of unexpected surprises that came with the season too.

This was the first year in five years of marriage that we had to set up a fake Christmas tree because we just could not squeeze in the time to go get a real one between work, practice, and games.  We daily adjusted dinner time, and bedtime so that we could eat together as a family.  Over the months of basketball season, I spent two to three evenings a week, wrestling my preschooler and toddler head to toe in winter gear and getting all of us in the truck to drive to home and away games, at least 20 minutes away.

Our kids learned lots of new things.  Like how to stand silently and respectfully for the National Anthem - which is now sung before nearly every time we play basketball at home.  We learned how to wait patiently until the game is over before we get to talk to Daddy and how to find ways to entertain ourselves during 32+ minutes of game time.  Greyson learned new words and phrases like; foul shot, box out, hustle, and 'Drain It!'  Gemmi happily shouts out 'Go Blue Jays!' and copies the cheerleaders' hand motions.

There were moments that will be held in my memory as 'Daddy's first Coaching season.'  Like, after the first win, when the kids and I picked up Chinese take-out and surprised Daddy with a late night celebration when he got home.  Like the several actual fights with Grey about letting me wash his 'basketball clothes' after he wore them for four days in a row (not even wanting to take them off for bed).  At the Portage away game when the kids put on a legit dance presentation at half time.  It was being the very last people to leave the gym at home games; walking the length of the parking lot to brush off our car and praying the kids would fall asleep on the ride home.  It was the feeling of relief at the sight of family and friends in the stands when arriving to the games with my two gremlins.  (thank you so much Gigi, Pappy, Mimi, Abba, Chum, Uch, Rebecca Hagerich, Jordan Heider, Stacy, Corey & Lila Stahl, Uncle Juice, Jonny, Ninna, Kuma, Morgan, Ricky & Wendy Stahl, Barb & Jess Verno, Beth Furman, and Paula & Maddie McCleester for spending time with my kids during basketball season).

Although, the biggest lesson we learned this first basketball season is that this is not just something that Daddy does.  Caring about the Blue Jays is serious family business.  We eat, talk, and sleep basketball.

Most of the conversations I have with my husband are about his team, upcoming games, strategies, and issues.  I hear him laugh about the funny, immature jokes his players tell at practice and see the to-the-bone-marrow pride when he speaks about the team.  I know the players' names, knicknames, and tendencies; who has surprised him, who has inspired him to work harder and see things from a new angle, who has changed over the course of the season.  There is a light in him that comes from being with his team and assistant coach that wasn't there before, and for that, I am deeply grateful to the Blue Jays.

photo credit:  Christa Statler

It's a funny thing to be on this side of athletics.  Brandon and I have been athletes all the way from childhood to college.  We know what it is like to be a player; to stand again after a brutal loss, to be filled up with hot pride at a victory hard won.  We are both quick to point to sports as being a main contributor to the way we do things as adults.  How we bounce back from disappointments, how we recognize an opportunity to learn, how we cheer on colleagues and friends - as we know a win for them, is in turn a win for us as well.  This is the stuff of character building.  So it is no surprise (least of all to me), that my husband takes this very seriously.

photo credit:  Christa Statler

The only information that I can offer about my husband's daily coaching choices is this:  my husband is invested in each of his players. That's it; he is invested.  He cares about the W, but more than that, he cares about  the men his players will be in five years; in ten years.  He's coaching them to get back up from a 60 point loss (the first game of the season) and try again.  He wants them to later in life be able to push all the way to the end even if you're down and fans start leaving the gym early, because you know what - you can win in overtime (Meyersdale game).  He wants for them to make the connection that the way they interact and speak to their teammates, the refs, the other coaches, the fans, and their teachers is a reflection of not only of themselves but everyone associated with them; their family, their teammates, their coach, their community.  It is more than basketball.  It has always been more than basketball to him.

Before taking the job, someone trying to dissuade him said, 'Remember, you have two little ones of your own at home to guide too.'  What that person may not have realized is that my kids get the privilege of seeing first hand what it means to follow a dream.  That there may almost never be a 'good time' in life to take on a challenge, but if you care enough about it - you can find a way to make it work.

photo credit: Christa Statler

And even more; something I see so clearly now, my two kids spend their days talking about and trying to emulate an entire team worth of teenagers that they may not have known otherwise.  If these boys, The Blue Jays, are the role models that my children try to copy - then I am considering myself a very lucky mother.

Good luck tonight, fellas.  You will always be considered part of our Blue Jay family.

photo credit:  Christa Statler

love,
the coach's wife.

Why we have Beer Olympics

We had our fifth annual Studer's Invitational Beer Olympics event this past weekend.  We had a total of 42 participants this year (more than ever!), and finished off five half-kegs of beer (also, more than ever).  Our day was enhanced by a borrowed sound system, complete with a microphone (which I loved) and beautiful weather (albeit a tad warmer than comfortable).

It was a great, great day.  Tons of games, fun, and laughter capped off with an awards ceremony that always makes me giggle to see the honest pride in the eyes of the winners of the various honors - including 'Rookie of the Year', 'Shark,' and 'Zophagus.'

And I could even try to be cute and pull a Jeff Foxworthy and say things like..

'If you ever felt pride at the sight of your teammate who just threw up, return and finish their ice cube tray in canoe races..you might be a Studer's Invitational participant.'

'If you ever uttered the question, How's it flowing?, in reference to the keg tap system before you attempted an upside down keg stand...you might be a Studer's Invitational participant.'

'If you ever woke up with suntan lines on your face in the shape of an octopus...you might be a Studer's Invitational participant.'

And the details of the day deserve its own proper post (especially for Pinterest's sake, obviously), but as a very brief highlight of the day; I'm here to tell you it was definitely a good year for Beer Olympics.

And I imagine it's very easy for young people and optimistic party planners to re-pin my posts about Beer Olympics because they want to try to spend the day 'getting wasted' and playing drinking games.  They might pump their fists and think its an excuse to drink an excessive amount of beer.  Optimistic party planners might even call it a cool use of time, money, or planning.

And just as easily, naysayers may dismiss the day, roll their eyes and shake their heads at our event.  They might think its trashy or just an excuse to drink an excessive amount of beer.  Naysayers might even call it an inappropriate use of time, money, or planning.

But both the optimistic party planners and the naysayers would be wrong.  Because, just as everything in life, your perception depends on what angle you take the picture.

And neither see the participants, many of whom only come together once a year- hugging, laughing, and cheering each other on.

And they don't wake up to their facebook newsfeed filled with new friendship notifications of people who only met the day before.

They don't get to smell and taste the donated food brought by participants that line both walls of our garage in roasters, crockpots, and tupperware containers.  Or see our kitchen counters filled with donated breakfast foods and coffee for the morning after.

They didn't watch as participants and spectators helped each other carry tables across the yard, put obstacle course tires into place, replace empty toilet paper rolls, tap new kegs, clean-up spilled food, re-fill cups and pitchers, and fix running toilets.

They didn't hear the announcement halfway through the day to raise more money for extra kegs so no money would be taken away from our donation fund and then watch while participants dug in their pockets and ran to their cars to give more money.

They didn't hear the whole lot of fifty plus people chanting, "Miss Tay! Miss Tay!" while holding up their blue support bracelets - sending thoughts and love her way.

They don't see our guest beds used, the seven people sleeping in our living room, the three in the dining room, and four tents in our yard the next morning.  (Which we take as a compliment that our home is both welcoming and comfortable).

They don't watch how those that slept over spend their morning organizing supplies, stacking chairs, taking down tents, washing pitchers and roasters, and wiping down tables before driving home - some of which had two hour plus drives.

They didn't see a group of eleven of us- the last of those to leave - giggling and recalling the day before over bagels and coffee on our back patio; a mixture of friends and family - really all connected only by this one day.

To both the optimistic party planners and naysayers: we say - yes, we hold a day long drinking event at our house.  And yes, we emptied five kegs this year.  And yes, when we wake up in the morning and look at our house, yard, and garage - it takes a short moment to wonder if its been irreversibly trashed.

But Beer Olympics is so much more than a day of drinking;  maybe its more than what is possible to understand from the outside.  Because from the inside; from our angle - it is one of the most generous, inspiring, and uplifting days of our entire year.

If we're being honest - its hard to know who the day most benefits.  Is it our donation receipt, or the participants who make new friends and memories, or maybe most of all Brandon and I?  Because we get an enormous reminder of the flat out decent and good-hearted people that surround us.

If you seek to take the picture from the pretty side, your life suddenly becomes a whole lot more beautiful.  And we will tell you - our life is really quite beautiful indeed.

To all of you that are a part of this event, we are so thankful- because without you, we couldn't do it. We don't know how we got so lucky to have this many amazing and kind people in our life - but we are infinitely grateful and proud to know you and call you a friend.